I will admit that I am surprised. I had a few different guesses about your Myers-Briggs type, but ISTJ was not one of them. I think introversion can be deceiving. I often falsely believe that because someone is introverted means that we must have a lot of other traits in common as well. I am especially surprised by the thinking preference - I have always thought of you as a feeler. I guess I did not know you as well as I thought I did.

Some days washing my hands the touch seems odd

The intertwined fingers seem like holding hands

My own touch can seem so alien

Left hand meet right hand

I look in the mirror, check my teeth and hair

So much I can do without looking at me

It is so easy to forget what my face looks like

Myself surprises me sometimes

My emotions can be like a waterfall

Other times there is a feelings drought

Can I be around people today or not

I know I will make myself go out that door

I am an INFJ. That explains a lot. Try this link to test yourself for free. https://www.google.com/url?sa=t&rct=j&q ... t03lLT-fgA

I watched "The Nance" last night. Wow it was powerful for me because I saw so much of myself in Chauncey Miles. At one point I turned it off because he found love and I hate happiness. I am so glad I went back to finish it. It was unnerving to watch someone with the same personal flaws.

The story was about an actor playing a stereotypical gay man in burlesque theater. He happened to be gay so you also saw the struggles of living in NY in the 30's as a gay man. He met a young man in an Automat that had an underground reputation as a cruise spot. He invited him home and they ended up living and working together. The young man was very much in love with Chauncey.

Sadly Chauncey was drawn more to the danger and risk of the chase than the actual physical connection. This need for conquests ruined the relationship and broke the young man's heart. Chauncey came across as a little bitter and sarcastic. I am not sure if he could trust love or even enjoy it. I was not sure if he could love. At least not as deeply as the young man was able.

This is the first time I mirrored a character so closely that I lost track between his flaws and my own. I record everything that is "Live From Lincoln Center" so I will be watching it again. Not right away of course. If you get a chance to see "The Nance" it is worth it and for a partial glimpse into my personality. My personality or lack of.

http://www.lct.org/shows/the-nance/

tugon (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 30, 2014 11:38 am Introvert(89%) Sensing(12%) Thinking(25%) Judging(33%)

I took an online test and these are my results. I have known for a long while that I was an introvert but had no idea I was only 89%. I thought I would score higher.

I recently photographed a wedding and I was physically exhausted when it was over. I was in the apartment most of the next day with the exceptions of dog walks. I took multiple naps and listened to music. The holidays are painful for me. When mother was alive and had the house I could slip up to my room for a break. Now I take my dog and he stays close when I am being overwhelmed.

Oddly I am perfectly capable of visiting large cities and passing large numbers of people. There is a peace in being anonymous among a sea of faces. A crowded museum is no problem because it is the art and not the people. Same with music or plays since I am aware of the stage and not who is next to me. I certainly have no problem in a small bistro when I am seated shoulder to shoulder with someone when that is the culture. In my town at a restaurant when someone throws their arm over the top of the seat and invades my space I react.

My job is not good for a person who is 89% introverted. I learned it, I can do it but back to healthcare for me. I also think I have the personality of a greeter at a funeral home. Oh and black is thinning but more so for the deceased than me.

Time to prepare myself for a walk with my dog. He does attract people but he gets the attention and I just smile proudly at him. They will sometimes speak with me and even say kind things. They have watched us for several years walking in all kinds of weather and admire my dedication to my dog. Two individuals have said my dog and I are alike in that we seem to be intelligent and are peaceful beings. I am reminded of how bad I am at small talk.

Took another test and here are the results.

I got ISTJ - The Duty Fulfiller. So accurate, take this test to find out your type too!

I am Introverted - Sensing - Thinking - Judging. This is based on the Memorado Personality Type Test. Quite similar to the test developed by psychologists Myers...

I guess I cannot hide from myself. Very Interesting that two different tests reveal the same info.

I do try to be a nice person and harm no one. Now on the other hand if someone has mistreated or used me I do allow myself delight in their troubles. Recently on facebook a post stated that my ex's, who was supposed to love me forever, house burnt down. Luckily no one was hurt but then it turned out to be only a chimney fire. Not as delightful but the thought of the inconvenience of the smoke damage did bring a smile. As I have said before it is not so much that he is not in my life but I missed the role he played in it for those years.

Karma and tugon can both be a bitch.

I am pleased to say that I once again have health insurance. My job makes affordable coverage possible. Affordable insurance that is worth having is a bit of stress relief for me. I have not been insured since 10/2004 and have paid everything out of pocket. Oh hell now my doctor will want me to have a colonoscopy.

Speaking of doctor's I went to mine on Monday. I had a very simple and brief appointment. He listened to my carotid's, heart, lungs and checked for bowel sounds. the nurse did an A1c. As a diabetic he did not check my feet, eyes or even warm up a finger. When I went to the counter to pay I was told the appointment was $160 and I said I would not pay that for as little as was done. We settled on $120 but I was still not pleased. Of course now with insurance I can go to a different doc that I like but would not take self pay patients. This was the most assertive I had ever been.

Having been in a lobby of sick people I picked up a 24 hour bug and missed work Tuesday. I had not missed work in over 20 years even when I was healing from my castration. Pad me up and off I went. I was able to work my day off so I did not lose pay or use vacation time. So much different from caring for others when you think about benefits available working for a corporation.

Things are getting better.

Doctors are truly bloodsuckers. Their prices are ludicrous. Sometimes I truly believe that insurance companies were created to enrich there darn doctors.

Just yesterday I visited a doctor. His fees were R1900...that is around $190. I just hope my insurance will cover the whole amount.

I was working at the hotel the other evening and this guest walked through the lobby and we both said hi. He was pleasant looking and of average build. He was not the type of man that would stop traffic. There was something about him none the less. All of a sudden I could imagine us relaxing together in a bed with my shoulder on his. Wow I have not felt the need for human contact in such a long time. How did this man stir up those feelings.

Due to inhuman contact and overall distrust of people I had not thought about being in close contact with someone. So here I was behind the desk wondering what we would talk about as we relaxed together. Oddly in what I sensed there would be no pressure to have sex. Or wishful thinking on my part. Odd that someone walking past could stir all these feelings within me.

As a rule I do not like being touched or touching anymore. This repulsion to human contact made my old job of caregiving difficult. Oh and the hugging holidays are happening so I need to create electrified clothing so anyone who tries to hug gets a shock. Yet this man walking past me creates all these feelings. That bastard.

People or at least the people I choose to befriend reinforce a lot of my feelings. Oh I will love you forever. Oh I will help make life easier. I now watch for actions and not listen to talk. Of course I have withdrawn from many even a long term friend who was a bully in an emotional way. I think seriously about giving up the internet and phone along with TV and living with music, art and my dog.

Time for a long walk with my dog. The cold keeps most inside these days. My poor dog likes seeing humans when he is out. I feign interest in their lives but usually enjoy their dogs. Time to put on pants and a coat and go beyond the door. It is tough to be an agoraphobe with a dog and when I cannot get the other personalities to agree. Oh well I can think about the man that stirred up these feelings.

Yes I am still taking all the personality and brain tests I see on Facebook. Here is the results of the latest.

You have a philosophical mind. You tend to ponder big questions and are driven by your desire to seek the truth. You are fair minded and are able to see the “big picture” - your evaluations are invaluable.

That is from What is Your Brain Actually Good At?

http://www.playbuzz.com/rachaelg/what-i ... ly-good-at

I might have titled it What is your brain actually good at doing?