At this point, I do not consider the symptoms to be a sign of depression. On those days where I get plenty of rest (like maybe 10 hours) and don't overdo things, I feel fine and life is wonderful. Yesterday, my boss was telling me that people continue to comment on how happy I am and how obvious it is that I am so much more comfortable with myself.
I am getting to bed no later than 11 PM and sometimes sooner. One thing I still need to work on is a more regular eating schedule, so tonight I will have dinner by 7 PM instead of waiting until 10:30 or later.
I am starting to exercise every day. I know exercise is important but I have neglected it for months in favor of writing and other 'fun' activities. I need to wise up and exercise regularly no matter what. No excuses will be accepted!
This afternoon, I called my hormone doctor's office and made an appointment to see her Friday. I want to be sure there is nothing else going on. Taking estrogen increases my risk of developing diabetes. I suspect I am in a 'prediabetic' state now. My blood pressure, cholesterol, triglycerides, HDL/LDL, etc. were fine at my last hormone checkup in early October.
Whatever is going on, I want to identify the problem and take action to resolve it. I am afraid that I will need to stop taking estrogen if I simply wait and do nothing.
I still feel happy much of the time but I am under a lot of stress. Part of my action plan is to reduce some of that stress. I have been trying to do too many things. We had a company party today. Afterwards, a friend in Human Resources was commenting on a number of very positive things I have been doing lately. She is familiar with most of what I do outside the office. Like me, she is interested in photography. I commented that I did not have the time I wanted for photography. Her reply was "Of course you don't, look at all the other things you are doing". I was surrprised by her remark because I typically feel like I am not doing enough and I should be able to fit time in for everything I want to do
The problem there is that there are far too many things that I want to do in a bad way. This was not so before I transitioned. I guess I'm still learning how to handle this new life. Danya needs to get real, wise up and make some mid-course corrections on how she handles her lifeWhen my energy level is very low, I can lose the ability to view my situation realistically. For several hours last night, it seemed like nothing was right in my life. This is despite the fact that over the last 10 days I have accomplished several major things that I would have thought impossible before I transitioned.
All of my hopes started to seem out of reach because I do not have the energy to make them happen. I will not allow this situation to continue and I will get my life back on track.
