My life

[butterflyjack (imported)]

Wonderful new, Danya..Moocho smoochos Jackie(dragonfly)

[Danya (imported)]

Thanks Mac and Jackie.

Earlier today, I learned of an unexpected bonus to this job. The company I will work for does not require a background check, although I had to show proof that I am a US citizen. But I was not asked to list former names. This means that no one at the agency or the company knows anything about my 'male' past. I will be entirely in 'stealth mode' at work.

[Mac (imported)]

Thanks Mac and Jackie.

Earlier today, I learned of an unexpected bonus to this job. The company I will work for does not require a background check, although I had to show proof that I am a US citizen. But I was not asked to list former names. This means that no one at the agency or the company knows anything about my 'male' past. I will be entirely in 'stealth mode' at work.

A real plus for you.

[Danya (imported)]

A few minutes ago, I was offered a contract to hire job with a terrific company that has been growing throughout the difficult economy. It's in a relatively close suburb, definitely within commuting distance. Still, if it does go permanent I will move much closer.

I am very excited! I had three other interviews scheduled for this week, which I will now cancel.

Several people have sent messages asking how I'm doing, so I am responding here. I am also hoping that writing will again help me through a difficult time in my life.

The contract to hire job did not last more than 8 weeks. Nearly ten people were hired at the same time as me. A number were told they were no longer needed during my time at this company, so I was not surprised when I got a call from the agency letting me know not to return to work. Only one or two of the contractors were left by this point.

I was mostly relieved to get the news that I no longer had a job, the most stressful I have ever held. I wondered, though, what I would do next.

Since March of this year, I had been compiling data on number of job postings in my field in different metro areas around the US. I normalized the numbers by dividing them by each metro area's population. I also kept track of unemployment trends. Over these months, Minneapolis/Saint Paul has consistently had roughly three times the number of jobs in my field than the Chicago region. The unemployment rate for Chicago during the last year has increased while the rate for the Twin Cities has declined. During September and October, the Chicago metro unemployment rate has been 9.6%. The unemployment rate in Minneapolis/Saint Paul dropped from 6.0% to 5.4% - the lowest rate of all major metropolitan regions in the US. Too bad it also is the coldest major metro area in the country.

Over a period of about 5 days, I made the difficult decision to move back to the Twin Cities. In the nearly two years I spent in Chicago, I grew to love it even more. During my last week there,

I went [quote="Danya (imported)" time=

1295829060]
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wice for long walks and pondered my options. The garden is where I made my decision. 'X' and I have remained friends. I called him from the garden to let him know that I would move. We had spent many hours walking there together. He could tell from the sound of a waterfall which area I was walking through. Quite a feat since nearly all of the garden is filled with the sound of different forms of flowing water.

It has been difficult for me to adjust to living in Minnesota again. This is the first time I have returned to a place I have lived in before and the area now seems strangely foreign yet familiar to me. I knew my way around downtown Chicago and its surrounding suburbs far better than I ever knew the Twin Cities. It is also significantly colder here.

I miss the far greater cultural and ethnic diversity of Chicago, and its much higher energy. As I arrived at the Twin Cities, I thought "there's

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By the time I left Chicago, I was still havi

ng some discomfort, and pain, in the GRS area. Particularly when I was driving. At the

office, I had no pr

oblem. The 7 1/2 hour drive to the Twin Cities made the pain even worse and now, at tim

es, it bothers me a

ll day. Tuesday, I have an appointment with a trans-friendly gynecologist to see if she

can help. I hope s

o. Now, even a 30-minute drive gets to be uncomfortable. I am pleased with the surgery

but very unhappy t

hat I am dealing with the pain after nearly eight months. The only way I get relief is w

hen I sleep. Dila

ting is becoming a bit more difficult, too. All of this is depressing, it's interfering

with my life in a bi

g way. Right now, I don't know how I'd sit at a job all day. At times, standing does no

t relieve the pain.

__________________________________________________ _________________________________

I am getting a lot more interest from recruiters here than I ever did in Chicago. Since the summer, Windy City recruiters have been telling me hiring is slow. Here, they tell me the job market is hot for what I do and that unemployment for IT-related jobs is only 2%. I hope to have a job before long. My financial resources are low after all my transition expenses and I need to turn that around.

[Caith721 (imported)]

Hi, Danya!! First, it's very good to hear from you. I was among those people wondering how things were going. I'm terribly disappointed to hear you're still having pain, so many months after GRS. It's great you have a friendly gynecologist to help you through this difficult time. I wish you the best of luck with the Twin Cities recruiters.

[Danya (imported)]

Hi Caith,

I'm delighted you responded to my post. The gynecologist was very kind and thorough. She found that I have granulation tissue in the far end of my vagina and on some parts of the labia. She treated these with silver nitrate. In addition, she found that I have more significant nerve damage than I had thought. She prescribed an anti-seizure medication to help reduce the pain from that. There is also an internal area where a small amount of tissue may slough off, which we are trying to prevent with an estrogen cream. Finally, there are some dark spots near the surgery area that she wants to biopsy once everything else is under control. I am guessing she doesn't expect anything too serious or she would have done an immediate biopsy - hope so, anyway!

My pain level is not much less than what I experienced the week after surgery. This means I will apply only for permanent jobs until I start to feel better. Hiring managers for contractors often want you to start work immediately. I applied for six permanent jobs yesterday.

Hope all is well with you.

[Danya (imported)]

I saw my gynecologist for the second time yesterday. She took samples for a biopsy of discolored skin from the lower area of my vulva. If these prove to be precancerous lesions, laser ablation will be used to remove them. I am only a little surprised that I am not worried about this. Over the last several years, I've changed in many ways. Things that used to cause a lot of worry seldom do these days. It's not that I'm totally free of worry, by any means. My coping mechanisms are better now.

I'm still dealing with pain from my GRS in April and the area that was biopsied is causing more pain. My doctor has increased the anti-seizure medication that should help reduce it. I see her again in two weeks. I asked her for an estimate on when I would be able to interview and work. She responded with "potentially in two weeks." I let her know during my first appointment that I need to be able to work ASAP. I'm still supposed to avoid sitting as much as possible. Since I cannot stand all day , I recline in bed as I apply for jobs.

It was good to get out of the house, even for an appointment with a doctor. I like this female gynecologist and I enjoyed my one hour appointment, except for the parts involving what looked like torture devices. We talked and joked about a number of things.

Chicago - I still miss it and it's well over a month since I left. I even miss the heavier traffic! And the big city energy. I will adjust. I did not miss Minnesota when I moved to Chicago in early 2010.

Job hunting is going slowly because I have to recover from my post surgery complications. I had to turn down a phone interview yesterday because I knew I could not start work when the company wanted.

[Danya (imported)]

GRS complications update:

My pain is lessening but is still too intense for prolonged sitting. Even with the

rubber donut (i.e., invalid ring)

that I am once again using. During my last visit, my gynecologist (Dr. 'T') injected a nerve block that eliminated most pain for a few hours. This result means that cortisone injections may be very effective for longer lasting pain relief. I long to be able to sit with little pain and discomfort, just like a 'normal' person.

Dr. 'T' told me that roughly 20% of trans women deal with nerve damage following GRS. She's never worked with anyone, though, dealing with this pain 8 months after surgery. This confirms what I already suspected: I did not receive adequate follow-up treatment in Chicago.

One major improvement is that dilating is now easier than it has ever been. It's still not fu

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I still wonder what I will do with

the re

st of my life, knowing that the answer is work

for mu

ch of it! I'd probably be wondering less if I

had f

ewer free hours to think about it. I'm keepi

ng up

my search for permanent jobs, but things have s

lowed up for the holidays. Confidentially , I'm cons

iderin

g an alternative career option. I've written ab

out th

is before, so I won't go into details now othe

r than

to say I really do have this narrowed down to

one opt

ion. OK, OK - maybe two! 'X' has been eggin

g me o

n for one of these, long distance from Chicago.

____

______________________________________________ ________________________________________________
[/quote]


For the first time, I am living in a home with not one but three female, human roommates. This is the best living arrangement I've had since leaving Minnesota in early 2010. We all get along well and my space is not only very private, but practically a studio apartment. As an added bonus, I have four female, canine roommates. Three are miniature Schnauzers and the fourth is a small, female well, something else. "Something else" is an adorable small, scruffy dog. She spends much of the daylight hours in my room, when her 'mommy' is at work. I love dogs, so having four around is a treat.

[Danya (imported)]

Regarding my gynecologist and test results

This is the first clinic I've been to that, through a secure web site, displays your test results before you see your doctor. This morning, I got an email notification to check my test results on the site. Turns out my estradiol level is way too high. The doctor even left instructions that I should cut my dose in half. I also learned that my three biopsies showed nothing but benign tissue.

All of this is great news. Dr. 'T' told me that a too high estradiol level could contribute to the pain I'm having. I'm hopeful that decreasing the dose will help alleviate that. I'm happy that I do not need laser surgery to remove precancerous tissue.

[Caith721 (imported)]

Great news, Danya. That's the first time I've ever heard of too high an E level causing such problems. I'll keep it in mind.