I was asked in a PM

Is this new trial with androcur, a prelude to being surgically castrated?

I am answering this here 'cause I think that it is important enough.

So the main answer is "I am unsure".

I am mostly comfortable with the consequences of low testosterone, but there are some things that bother me.

Infertility as a result. I can say that I do not want kids now, that is definite. But I can not say anything about future. Who knows?

Bone problems, and other medical problems. I started having back problems as a teen, and now, while on androcur it feels worse. I started getting occasional back pains.

I thought about adding oestrogen to the mix, but that brings another set of problems, and basically it is a one way ticket. I do not mind feminisation (or should it be - I want it? good question), but there is always a question of a society, family and friends. And I am afraid.

The questions of motivation (looking at the table with soldering iron and tools gathering dust). But on the other hand I work alot with electronics at work, so the cause of lack of the desire to build things can be there. Last week was spent alternating between a computer and a oscillocsope trying to debug and test a new piece of electronics.

There is one more thing: even if I do not have much of sexdrive (do I have it at all?), I still want someone to cuddle with and to share my life with.

That is not a full list, but probably that is all I can write now. Hope it is more or less coherent.

PS. Offtopic - 14 degrees C - is this summer?

I was asked in a PM

fhunter wrote: Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:28 am I am answering this here 'cause I think that it is important enough.

So the main answer is "I am unsure"..........

.........

fhunter wrote: Mon Jun 07, 2010 2:28 am That is not a full list, but probably that is all I can write now. Hope it is more or less coherent.

PS. Offtopic - 14 degrees C - is this summer?

Hi fhunter,

It's a trial, so it's perfectly ok to be unsure. Your list raises several topics that are difficult to resolve. You are young and don't want kids now but in a few years, and with the right partner, you might feel a strong urge to reproduce. You have some gender issues as well, so that complicates things. It sounds as though you need someone to love right now. You seem to be a good person but maybe you're shy. Do you have a therapist who could help you come to terms with some of these issues?

Then there are the health issues to consider/deal with.

It will not be a failure if you decide that castration isn't right for you right now. You will have successfully carried out your trial and this thread will always be a useful log to read later. You will also always have plenty to contribute here and you will not lose our friendship. If you decide to proceed with the trial a little longer, make sure you get enough iron, sunlight, exercise and calcium. But that's good advice even if you decide to quit this trial. Becoming fit is a great mood enhancer and the extra happiness will make you feel more like socialising.

If you quit chemical castration please watch out for mood changes as the testosterone comes back. I was VERY VERY bad tempered for a few days but I was much better able to sleep.

Wishing you health and happiness.

Riven

I am wondering about long term desires. In one post you mentioned a sexual dream where you were seeing yourself in a more passive role, as well as being interested in feminization if it weren't for being afraind of friends and family reactions. Are you interested in a gender change or a transition to a eunuch status. and if you had a gender change would you be more interested in a relaitonship with a man or a women.

More than half of 6 months period has passed.

Have you noticed anything you haven't on previous trial and on trial so far?

Quite a long time - over 3 months.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 20, 2010 10:41 am More than half of 6 months period has passed.

Have you noticed anything you haven't on previous trial and on trial so far?

Quite a long time - over 3 months.

After understanding that I can not cope with answering the questions in the previous 3 posts over the same period of time. Lets start from the last one - the changes.

First one is with hair - I got some regrowth at the front of the head.

Second one - I noticed, that what remains of my sexdrive changes cyclically with period around one month. It peaks once over that period and then goes back down. Looks like the energy levels change accordingly. I may be wrong or I have observed wrong.

On trial so far - energy levels are better. Emotions - it depends on the day, weather and phase of the moon - some days I may be okay, on the others, well, it depends.

One more difference from the first trial: I do not have most of the anxiety that I had. I know what to wait, and I have got supply of androcur for the whole trial.

As for the other two post I will answer on them tomorrow.

Riven (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 12, 2010 8:25 pm Hi fhunter,

It's a trial, so it's perfectly ok to be unsure. Your list raises several topics that are difficult to resolve. You are young and don't want kids now but in a few years, and with the right partner, you might feel a strong urge to reproduce. You have some gender issues as well, so that complicates things. It sounds as though you need someone to love right now. You seem to be a good person but maybe you're shy. Do you have a therapist who could help you come to terms with some of these issues?

Then there are the health issues to consider/deal with.

It will not be a failure if you decide that castration isn't right for you right now. You will have successfully carried out your trial and this thread will always be a useful log to read later. You will also always have plenty to contribute here and you will not lose our friendship. If you decide to proceed with the trial a little longer, make sure you get enough iron, sunlight, exercise and calcium. But that's good advice even if you decide to quit this trial. Becoming fit is a great mood enhancer and the extra happiness will make you feel more like socialising.

If you quit chemical castration please watch out for mood changes as the testosterone comes back. I was VERY VERY bad tempered for a few days but I was much better able to sleep.

Wishing you health and happiness.

Riven

I understand that it would not be a failure if I stop the trial now or finish it at 6 months and do nothing.

I think that I will continue with the trial. The worst I can get is irreversible changes at the end. At least I would have no one to blame for this except myself.

Therapist - no, I do not have one. I'll try to figure out my issues myself. Two friends know about some of the issues, but not all.

As for love... I started slowly drifting apart with my GF about a year ago, we stayed friends, but that is all. Shy - may be, may be not. I am shy at some situations and not shy in others. Working as lab assistant in computer science and digital electronics labs cured at least some of the shyness .

Kids - I do not think that I will make a good parent (and watching a growing nephew... no, thanks).

As for keeping fit - I walk almost an hour a day on work days (30 minutes total to work, about the same from work). Now I am on vacation, so I try to rollerskate as the weather permits, which is rare... Sunlight? With Saint-Petersburg weather? 62 sunny days a year on average, and half of that in winter (listening to the sounds of rain).

Temper and moods when testosterone comes back - yes, I know it, on my own experience. It is not pleasant, my main concern here is not to do anything stupid.

PS. Looks like my language skills took a vacation too :-\

How do you get this drug? What is the process for getting the drug? I already have Low T levels. I think a lot of what our bodies do is mentally achieved. I never had low t levels until I started concentrating on dropping my t levels. I would like to start trial number 1 and hopefully it will be the only trial I need.

Thank you.

loving2swallow (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 27, 2010 2:29 pm How do you get this drug? What is the process for getting the drug? I already have Low T levels. I think a lot of what our bodies do is mentally achieved. I never had low t levels until I started concentrating on dropping my t levels. I would like to start trial number 1 and hopefully it will be the only trial I need.

Thank you.

How I got androcur? Officially here it is prescription only, list B. But, at least some pharmacies ignore this. So basically I found such pharmacy and ordered androcur (they hadn't it available at the time). Total time - about a week.

loving2swallow (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 27, 2010 2:29 pm How do you get this drug? What is the process for getting the drug? I already have Low T levels. I think a lot of what our bodies do is mentally achieved. I never had low t levels until I started concentrating on dropping my t levels. I would like to start trial number 1 and hopefully it will be the only trial I need.

Thank you.

Androcur is not available at pharmacies in the US because it has not been aproved by the FDA. That really isn't a problem because it is available from offshore mail order pharmacies like Inhouse. Last time I looked, Inhouse didn't have Androcur but instead had an equivalent, Siterone. And the prices from them will be less than if you were able to find it at a local pharmacy.

Thank you. I have a doctors appointment this week about my prostate. I wonder if the doctor would prescribe Siterone for me. I'll check my insurance to see if it's one of their approved drugs. Could you guys think of some medical reason I can tell him for getting it?