Hi there Hairless,

First of all, I remember the tremendous levels of support that you gave me four years ago when I was dealing with all sorts of confusion. I haven't forgotten this and I wish to thank you.

It sounds like you're kind of finding a place in between male and female that you like; who says that you have to be totally one or the other? How has this continued over the past couple of months?

And you know what they say in relation to the sweat lodge: Friends that sweat together stick together.

Hi guys, it's been a while. Not much happening with me. My second surgery on my spine was successful and my surgeon says I am properly fused now. I still have some pain and nerve issues, but I think most of that is my fault. I defiantly need to walk more and do my exercises. I have gained 10 lbs. since the last surgery and that doesn't help any. I really need to get my act in gear.

Gray, you're welcome. It's been a long time since I gave you my 2 cents worth and it sounds like you've had quite a journey yourself.

I just got back from having a bone density scan, hopefully that brings good news. The little bit of Androgel I was using gave me more energy, but it made me have more gender feelings. After my last blood test, my Endocrinologist told me to stop the Androgel and he doubled my Estrogel. That was 2 weeks ago and I still feel good. I'm glad those annoying morning erections have stopped again also. So far, except for gaining some weight, I haven't seen much change in my body or temperament. I haven't had any breast tenderness, but they do seem a little larger. Probably from the weight gain.

I still don't know where this is all going. I'm just looking for a little peace.

It sounds like you need to forgive yourself for being who you are. I'm glad your feeling better with the pain and the Hormone Therapy. I agree with Gary. Don't be afraid to be who you are no matter what that ends up being. As to your breast development etc. Don't sweat it. Leave it in God's hands and enjoy your life.

As to those nasty night time erections. Oh, if you knew the trouble I take to get those....

I remember telling Transgirl23NY not to be so down on her private parts. Just to think of them as a really large set of female parts. And if you know how male and female babies grow they really are. BTW if your worried about bone loss the Estrogen "should" take care of that? Energy wise I think you might want to think about a true female Mix of hormones that includes some testosterone. Have you pondered doing a compounded cream to take care of your hormones?