homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2007 3:48 am its only been 6 days as of me starting the patch, and with such a low dose i feel different, light headed, hot flashes, faint, tired/wound up, unsexual. plus i feel an amazing plumping of the breasts.

i think that my body is really sensitive to the hormones.

z

Talk to someone who knows about progesterone. I think if you do estrogens you need that to be safe? Strokes etc. Someone who knows?!?

Hi Z,

I've read your posts in this thread and believe me...I'm no expert in this area, but I'll be happy to share some advice with you and the limited knowledge I have of hormones.

Take the patch off and put in down. Before you proceed any further with estrogen, please do a little research into it. The changes that are occurring to your body right now are not reversible, especially since you are a eunuch and have no testosterone in your system. Because you are on the younger side the estrogen will do a great deal of feminization to your body and based on your posts, you may or may not want those results.

As you stated, you may not be in the right mind set to make a clear decision on this matter at this time.

I know from reading your various posts, you really need to sit down and do some serious soul searching. No one knows you better than yourself and no one is better qualified to search your soul than you.

You've hit one of those "speed bumps" in your life. Before you continue on your present course you have to really decide if you are happy being male or if you are truly transgendered and would be happier as a female, but don't do some else that you will regret later down the road.

Please give this some serious thought and once you have firmly decided on a course of action...pursue it with determination.

You have many friends here and we're just concerned for your well being.

If you'd like to talk, send me a PM and I'll share my phone number with you.

Take care.

After all this time I finally had the chance to see the documentary.

From what I saw of you, your mannerisms and overall demeanor do strike me as definitely on the feminine side. And I think that if you were to transition you are not going to have much difficulty passing.

But on the other side of things, I can see you having real difficulties passing as male if you continue on E, and even without because of your age. If you don't want to be female that could really be a problem.

At the time of the documentary you seemed to be pretty sure that you didn't want to be a girl. You said it's not who you are. Feelings do change, but the most solid TSs have always known of their feelings and have never had any doubts.

You mention being unsexual on E. Someone who used to come the boards who isn't much older than you had the opposite experience. She had no libido on T. Once she started E she became incredibly sexual, and she liked it. And I have no doubts she is a true TS.

Just some things to think about

truly committed (imported) wrote: Mon Jun 04, 2007 4:40 am i like the sound of that unsexual..i dream to live in a world where everyone is unsexual!!!

would they be a cup size now? or prob too early...

unsexual, is nice, yet i still sometimes lust the interaction of others. in a pleasurable way, not sexual, yet pleasurable.

the breasts are wired, not yet real breasts, more like swollen nipples with tissue beneath.... they hurt.

z

i am very unclear on what i want.

i am clueless when it comes to knowing what i am, or how to achieve it.

thinking and reviewing and planning only screw me up more. More and more, i feel that nothing really matters and that what ever i decide is only going to bring me to shame.

moving past that, the E brings me a little pain, and i like it. the feeling of being on a strange chemical is stirringly fun, yet devastatingly these feeling bring me some dissatisfaction.

trying to think of who i want to be 10 years from now, let alone 1 month is almost taunting.

my head hurts and i am faint.

I have known others who, post-castration, have been just as confused about themselves as you are. Remembering that you have instituted a big, lifelong change to your body and your emotions you should let yourself adjust to whatever changes come to you as they occur. Do not force yourself to confront these changes. Let the adjustments happen, then you will be more ready to make decisions that you can live with for the long term. Communicate with others who have undergone their own changes. Network with people in similar situations. Talk, listen and don't become dishartened, with time you too will know what you need yo know for you to be content. There are many on this board who will help in any way they can. Take care of yourself. --FLO--

i have removed the patch after a full week of treatment, and the first thing thismorning i felt ill. later in the day now i feel much better, the site where the patch had been is itchy and inflamed.

for now i think that i am much happier with my body doing its own thing, rather than being on the chemical hormone.

i wonder what the lasting effects of one weeks treatment will be?

i hope the breasts stop hurting soon along with my head!

z

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 05, 2007 10:30 am i have removed the patch after a full week of treatment, and the first thing thismorning i felt ill. later in the day now i feel much better, the site where the patch had been is itchy and inflamed.

for now i think that i am much happier with my body doing its own thing, rather than being on the chemical hormone.

i wonder what the lasting effects of one weeks treatment will be?

i hope the breasts stop hurting soon along with my head!

z

There should be no lasting effects.

The itchiness and irritation should clear up fairly quickly.

When first undertaking the same journey as you. I went without any hormones of any kind for quite some time - I think 4-5 months - before using anything. Adjustments took quite some time - probably 2-3 years. Ride the roller coaster, hang on, and talk to and listen to lots of folks, then make up your own mind.

Z,

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:47 am to speak the truth, i feel like i am caught in a web and see no escape.

I hear you and understand. Feel the same way. Can't go back the way I came (i.e., testosterone), and going hormone-free isn't an option either. So what's left?

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:47 am Having issues with my health is what brought me to hormone use. feelings of retardation seem to be a side effect of the patch. Also there is an increased ability to just sleep, where as up until a few days ago, about 5 hours of sleep was all my body would allow.

Feelings of retardation? Hopefully this isn't a common side-effect of estrogen or male bigots would be somewhat justified. Reminds me of a TG joke: While a post-op MtF is explaining her transition to some chums and making mention of sex-change surgery, one asks: "Did the surgery hurt?"

The MtF replies, "Only the second part."

"Oh, really? What did they do in the second part?"

"Removed half my brain."

More sleep? Yes, and I'm surprised you don't like that effect. After castration, my sleep wasn't as good as before. Estrogen provides better rest.

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 02, 2007 8:47 am one thing that i would like every desiring wana be eunuch to know, is that life is no more easy post castration. Choosing to live a life of unnatural deprivation from sex hormones is very different from what one would expect. Mind altering changes acure as your body slowly depletes itself of much needed hormones.

Amen.

* * *

On a more practical note: Since you are ambivalent about estrogen, have you tried DHEA? It's a hormone you can get in the health/nutrition section of drug stores and seems like a junior version of testosterone.

Speaking of breast development and gender ambivalence: Before castration, the one side-effect I was concerned about was possible breast development. "After all, I don't want to be a freak." One of the clues I had post-castration that my problems weren't over is that I checked in the mirror nearly every day for breast development and came away disappointed there was none.

Hoping things get better and clearer for you,

Terri

I've been on E for 4 years. The first year nothing much happened then I woke one morning to see small buds appearing. I'm now a comfortable A-cup going on B and very happy I've done it. My testicles are now empty and smaller and my penis much smaller even when erect which it does half mast. As I'm not married the feminisation is no problem. Major plus - I hardly need to shave my face, just once a month.