T +26.

Yesturday I increased dosage from 50mg a day to 100mg a day.

It is interesting that I don't feel like I am very castrated. But there are certain effects and changes that remind me that I am actually quite castrated.

First, all morning woods are gone. It is now 2 weeks since I had last morning wood.

It takes at least 3 minutes of stimulation before my penis starts to get harder and it remains half hard.

I havent masturbated for 4 days now. Yesturday I wanted to see, if I could get hard abd after I got it up, I just lost interest and continued with other stuff. I don't feel that urgency to have an orgasm, after it has got hard anymore.

Horniness is gone. I don't remember when I felt properly horny last time. May be 2 weeks ago.

I have hot flashes. These are one of most noticeable reminders, that my T levels have dropped a lot.

I get tired so easily and so often. But otherwise I feel normal.

And most annoying effect is bad sleep. But it has been much worse during first trial.

Also, Volume of semen is considerably reduced. Especially after having pause from ejaculatuon for 3 days, there was so little coming out.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Sun Jun 02, 2019 2:43 pm But still I don't feel castrated enough.

I still can enjoy porn. I still have some sexual thoughts randomly popping up, despite it is like 10% level compared to precastration levels.

Feeling of being slow is now not so severe. May be I am adjusting.

Tomorrow I start Raloxifene, to see if it has any effect on my remi ding libido.

Now I was thinking if I am ready for surgical castration... Yeah that is exciting. To think about my balls being cut off. It seems like I can cope with all the negative effects. But I don't have that strong conviction yet, that would lead me to imminent actions. But I am much closer now

What kind of bad sleep are you having? And when did it start?

It started quite fast, on 4th day. I mean by bad sleep that sleep is shallow, I wake up many times during the night. Sometimes I just stay awake, unable to fall asleep.

I was surgically castrated, august 2002. Went on TRT. Have never had a 'good night sleep' since. Losing my balls, pales in the comparison!

I just started taking androcur for the 3 Rd time. Just going to take half of a 50 mg tablet a day. Hoping this slow start will reduce the side effects this time. Just one 25 mg dose yesterday has given me that metallic taste and smell, so it's already doing something.

T +29

I've had serious hot flashes recently. Funny is that I wake up all soaked and hot and next second I feel so cold I start to shake. Thats all ok.

I also feel very tired at times, so that it is hard or impossible to force myself to do any physical work. I try to take naps to make myself feel better, but it helps only partially.

What worries me most is that I have that brainfog. Sometimes there is almost none, other times it is annoying. Perhaps it is just a temporary effect, as I suspect that prepubertal boys do not experience brainfog. Who knows... But yesturday I was thinking, that if brainfog will get worse, and make me unable to code or do what I like to do, then I should stop. It is too important for me to have a crystal clear mind.

I did not masturbate for 5 days in a row. No big deal or willpower was needed for abstinence. Last two days I've done that to see if it is possible. Yes. I still can get hard (semihard) in about 3 minutes and orgasm in about 30-40 minutes. That is a big downgrade from 1 minute to orgasm. But still I feel I am not castrated enough. I don't know why.

erikboy (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 1:31 am But yesturday I was thinking, that if brainfog will get worse, and make me unable to code or do what I like to do, then I should stop. It is too important for me to have a crystal clear mind.

The brain fog is a result of no sex hormone. When I added Estradiol, my brain fog went away.

GordonGG (imported) wrote: Thu Jun 13, 2019 3:24 pm The brain fog is a result of no sex hormone. When I added Estradiol, my brain fog went away.

My experience was similar. I was getting worried about brain fog before I started Estradiol. Now I feel as sharp as ever, maybe even better than ever. Testosterone was poison for my brain; so great to be mostly rid of it. I'll start taking Androcur in a few days when it arrives to drive T into the castrate range. I haven't experienced Androcur while taking Estradiol.

T +30

Today shortness of breath hit me hard. As I have felt exhausted lately, 7-10 days, I haven't done much physical work. But today I was forced to do some hard work. And very quickly, like in 30 seconds I was out of breath and all wet over my body. Normally this type of work makes me breath heavy. But this time I was completely out of breath and had to stop. Finally I choose very slow pace, so that I was able to do my stuff without stopping. Actually I had to stop time to time. But if that disables me to funcfunction normally I have to think about stopping this trial.

Castration is much more serious stuff than just having empty scrotum.

Fortunately I dont have any depression nor mood swings. Yet.

I measured my testicles today. Now I can say that my testicles are on the path of size reduction. Atrophy. I measure them both. average testicular size has decreased from 38ml per testicle to 32ml per testicle.

Also elastration ring slips much easier over them than before. Last time I measured 12 days ago, but then the change was not measurable.