Caith721 (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 19, 2011 5:20 pm Thanks! It's really more of a symbolic accomplishment. After taking cyproterone and estrogen for over a year, and then performing several cycles of ethanol injections I'm fairly certain the damned things are inert. If they're not, they're awfully quiet and small. Still, once they're gone, they're gone FOR GOOD, and that's a literal achievement.

It is very nice not having them visible or tangible at all. I'm sure you'll dig it just fine.

Even smaller and withdrawn as they are, they still annoy me during the day. I'll be so damned happy to have them gone and out of my way. Panties will fit better, peeing will be easier, and I'll just be a helluva lot happier, in general. I'm still trying to decide if I want the scrotum removed at the same time, since I'll probably never have full SRS.

Spent a very good hour with my therapist/Ph.D. this morning. Rather than getting directly to the letter, we discussed the depression I was experiencing during my last visit. Thankfully that has resolved, and the work, home, and life issues that were all converging are no longer huge obstacles. I still need to find a new job somewhere, but it doesn't appear as dire as it did when viewed through depression. Home life is getting better as I exercise by walking a five-mile route each Tuesday and Thursday evening, and my spouse fully understands I'm actually heading to Miami for the surgery. The therapist asked about my future goals and we discussed that for a bit. Finally, with fifteen minutes left, she said "Well, let me go compose your letter." A few questions regarding some specific details later, and I had a very nice one-page letter with her signature.

Next week I visit my psychiatrist/M.D. and work with her to prepare a second letter. She can either write something similar to the first letter, or simply cite her agreement with the first letter. I'm not terribly worried about that visit, either. I snail mailed my information and a check to Dr. Reed's office earlier this week, but they haven't called me, yet. Hopefully, they'll call tomorrow or early next week at the latest.

It's not an all-expenses-paid trip and it's not for SRS, but Miami will be beautiful in April, and orchiectomy is what I was seeking. More news as it actually happens. If these things happened too quickly, I don't think we would appreciate them nearly so much.

One comment on your surgery. Even if you don't see how your going to ever afford GRS I think it would be a mistake to have tissue removed that you could really use when (not if) that happens. Clearly your making a choice to go down this road. How you end up going down it may not be fully understood now but it can happen with time and planning.

I'm happy your wife is supporting you. I think this is probably going to be very difficult for her and I hope that you will take into account how she is feeling. Maybe some couples therapy is in order and you can figure out how this all is going to work.

Take care.

Thanks, Mr.T. I wouldn't go so far as saying my wife is "supporting me" as much as she realizes my mind is made up and there's nothing she can possibly do to change it. We went back to our previous marriage counselor earlier this year, about a week after my wife found notes regarding orchiectomy while she was digging in my wallet in December. That broke down about six or seven years of her denial and allowed me to start working on myself again. I had put my femme self aside some years ago, and I wasn't enjoying it at all.

At our very first session, my gender therapist/Ph.D. recommended not removing the scrotal tissue specifically in case I later decide for SRS. Currently, even following complete removal of scrotal skin, MtF SRS is possible using thinly-sliced skin grafts from other donor areas of the body. But I'd hate having more than one set of surgical dressings after any surgery, if they're not necessary. Plus, the risk of scarring at the graft donor sites seems like a potential problem.

Besides, why would I miss the opportunity to throroughly enjoy (NOT!) genital electrolysis? I'm still getting electrolysis treatment on my lips and chin right now. At least with the scrotum, hair density and follicle depth are not issues as they are with a beard. Believe me, I've already considered this. At least I could get laser on my scrotum, since those hairs are still dark black. Finally, I can live with an empty sack. Since performing Everclear injections, my testicles are riding high and tight all the time so things are pretty much empty down there already.

My greatest desire from this surgery is to receive enhanced results from the Estrogen I'm taking. Getting off Siterone and not purchasing it every few months will be nice, as well. Fewer pills makes Caith a happier person.

I can't exactly put myself in your shoes but in any relationship secrets can be a really serious problem. I think having an orchiectomy (Changing your fertility) is an issue you should not keep a secret as it does have an impact on your wife. Even more so going on female hormones and considering an eventual sex change.

That all said I'm sure that talking about this with your doctors was a difficult thing and to explain this to your wife? Well filled with issues. But... This is probably an important person to talk it all out with as this is her life as well. And while its "you" she married this can be pretty mind boggling to say the least.

Anyway, good luck with Dr Reed and hopefully you will recover quickly.

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Tue Mar 08, 2011 3:28 pm Thanks, Mr.T. I wouldn't go so far as saying my wife is "supporting me" as much as she realizes my mind is made up and there's nothing she can possibly do to change it. We went back to our previous marriage counselor earlier this year, about a week after my wife found notes regarding orchiectomy while she was digging in my wallet in December. That broke down about six or seven years of her denial and allowed me to start working on myself again. I had put my femme self aside some years ago, and I wasn't enjoying it at all.

At our very first session, my gender therapist/Ph.D. recommended not removing the scrotal tissue specifically in case I later decide for SRS. Currently, even following complete removal of scrotal skin, MtF SRS is possible using thinly-sliced skin grafts from other donor areas of the body. But I'd hate having more than one set of surgical dressings after any surgery, if they're not necessary. Plus, the risk of scarring at the graft donor sites seems like a potential problem.

Besides, why would I miss the opportunity to throroughly enjoy (NOT!) genital electrolysis? I'm still getting electrolysis treatment on my lips and chin right now. At least with the scrotum, hair density and follicle depth are not issues as they are with a beard. Believe me, I've already considered this. At least I could get laser on my scrotum, since those hairs are still dark black. Finally, I can live with an empty sack. Since performing Everclear injections, my testicles are riding high and tight all the time so things are pretty much empty down there already.

My greatest desire from this surgery is to receive enhanced results from the Estrogen I'm taking. Getting off Siterone and not purchasing it every few months will be nice, as well. Fewer pills makes Caith a happier person.

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Fri Mar 04, 2011 2:11 pm Next week I visit my psychiatrist/M.D. and work with her to prepare a second letter. She can either write something similar to the first letter, or simply cite her agreement with the first letter. I'm not terribly worried about that visit, either.

My 30-minute visit with the shrink went quickly. She claimed to have never received the Release of Information authorization I snail-mailed to her two weeks earlier. She promised a referral letter a week later, and I was skeptical. Last Monday I faxed her a second copy of the authorization and left a voice mail message asking to confirm receipt of the fax. Two days later, there was no response. I left two more voice mail messages on Wednesday an Thursday reminding her she promised a letter by Friday, and there was still no response. I visited my therapist Thursday morning and we discussed this issue. I asked her to be ready to recommend one of her regular colleagues for preparing the second letter. Friday afternoon at 4:30, I left a final voice mail message for the psychiatrist, expressing my extreme disappointment at not having received either a referral letter as promised or the simple courtesy of a call-back during the week. I'm seriously considering contacting my credit card issuer to dispute the charges for my final 30-minute visit with her. I then e-mailed my therapist and less than an hour later she had provided the names and phone numbers of two colleagues who she recommended. At this rate, I don't believe I'm getting surgery in April, unless something completely unexpected occurs.

I overlooked your thread, until now, because it seems more 'natural' to me to find your type of story under "Blogs and Life Stories." That's my own bias, of course. I'm happy I found it.

It sounds like you have a deadline to get this second letter to Dr. Reed for your April appointment. Have you spoken with him about keeping that date, explaining why the second letter has been delayed?

I'm glad you are considering not having a scrotum reduction. You don't know what the future holds. Life circumstances change. What now seems very unlikely or even impossible may not be somewhere down the road. This is what happened for me. If you can, perhaps it is best to leave your options open.

I'm glad you are sharing your story. I hope you are able to keep your April appointment.

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 21, 2011 3:30 pm It sounds like you have a deadline to get this second letter to Dr. Reed for your April appointment. Have you spoken with him about keeping that date, explaining why the second letter has been delayed?

<snip>

I'm glad you are sharing your story. I hope you are able to keep your April appointment.

The deadline is my own personal drive and goal. I wanted to schedule surgery the first week in April, so I already sent my $250 deposit and personal contact information to Dr. Reed. We spoke via telephone a few days later, and while he was willing to go into great detail regarding arrangements, he will not even consider scheduling a date until he holds the two referral letters and verifies them with the therapist/doctors who wrote them. Obviously, he also requires 50% of the surgery fee, which is quite reasonable in my opinion. I've already got the money, I've got my first letter from my therapist/Ph.D., and I expected my second letter from my shrink/M.D. last week. Without that second letter reviewed and approved by my therapist, I cannot schedule a date.

When I paid for two separate sessions to discuss seeking orchiectomy with my psychiatrist in December and January, she was quite understanding. In February when I asked if she would consider writing the second referral letter with help from my therapist and me, she scheduled our most recent session two weeks ago. That was 30 minutes where we reviewed the complete package of information I prepared for her, and that's when she promised the letter in a week's time. That time ran out last Friday, and her failure to return my polite voice mail messages is inexcusable.

I was in an IRC chat with others this afternoon, discussing how ordinarily I'd be completely angry, right now. The nice thing about not being infused with testosterone is that anger is NOT present, it's not even lying beneath the surface. It's just been so terribly disappointing to be let down by a medical professional like this. I took a long five mile walk this afternoon to ward off the depression I could feel coming from this disappointment. I missed taking both of my walks last week, and I really needed the time out of the house and away from distractions. I also needed the increased oxygen in my system. I'm taking a cardiac stress test on Wednesday morning, and while I'm certain everything will be okay, I want to be able to do better than my last test, taken eight years ago. They actually lower their performance expectations as you age, but I don't find that reasonable for someone who is trying to get back in physical shape.

Danya, thank you for reading my thread and contributing. It's always nice to hear from a friendly voice in times like this. I hope you continue to steadily recover from your recent illness.

So, I just received a phone call from my psychiatrist at 10:30 this morning, apologizing. Unfortunately, she tried blaming it on her secretary and their phone system. I know she's personally techno-phobic, so the blame lies squarely on her for not checking her voice mail messages daily and responding to them in a timely manner. The end result is, she's expecting to prepare the letter and fax it to my therapist for review today.

Seeing as I have a cardiac stress test scheduled for Wednesday, if I receive the letter Tuesday, I should be able to overnight the whole damned package of two letters, an EKG, and a cardiac stress test review to Dr. Reed before the end of this week. Of course, that's only if they review the stress test results in a timely manner, and at this point I'm seriously not expecting that.