A guy gets a date with a really gorgeous girl, and everything seems to be going fine, but then she tells him, "I want to get weighed."

Well, the guy knows of a local drugstore that has a coin-operated scales in front of the store, so he takes her there and has her stand on the scales, and he puts a coin in the slot. She looks briefly at her weight and steps off the scales, and they go to dinner together. Things seem fine until after dinner, when she again says, "I want to get weighed."

So he takes her back to the drugstore. Maybe she's concerned that she ate too much. She steps on the scales, and she does weigh a little more than before dinner, but she doesn't seem to react to that. He asks whether she'd like to go to a movie, but she again says, "I want to get weighed."

This is minutes after they've left the drugstore. The guy figures this gal, beautiful as she is, is just too weird for him, and he takes her home.

The gal's roommate asks her how her date went. "Wousy," she says.

I like that

Bwing me all youw wascally wabbits!

Mechanic's Car Stories About ...

One lady had her car towed in because it was making weird noises. We checked a few basic things first, then started it to see what the noise sounded like and the exhaust system spit out a whole bunch of nasty sludge and smoke but wouldn't actually run.

Turns out, she thought the opening to add gas was the opening to add everything. When she first started having problems, she dumped oil, antifreeze, brake fluid, and windshield washer fluid in there to "make sure it wasn't running low on fluids."

Mechanics story #2

Had a customer come in to the shop. Entire engine, wires, battery and hoses were wrapped completely in aluminum foil.

She said it was because the Gubberment could track her via the computer chip in her car, and she didn't want them to do that because she owed back taxes.

Mechanics story #3:

One day a car came into the garage I used work at. The customer was complaining that they couldn't open the passenger side rear door from the inside. I took off the door panel to check the inner workings, see what I could see. One of my friends suggested I check the child lock, and I said it couldn't possibly be that, that no one could miss that. He said try anyway before you go further with it so I did. It was the child lock.

My own personal story is that when I first got a car with Child Locks and power windows, my Mother (then in her 80's) did this three times before learning not to do it. She'd open the back passenger door and read "child lock" and think it should be pushed for safety reasons (don't ask me why, I don't know)... Now it takes me a few minutes to haul my chair out of the front passenger seat and assemble it and get into it. So she had to wait... She'd bang the windows to get a passerby to open the door and then blame it on me.

Dave (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 21, 2016 6:16 pm Mechanics story #2

Had a customer come in to the shop. Entire engine, wires, battery and hoses were wrapped completely in aluminum foil.

She said it was because the Gubberment could track her via the computer chip in her car, and she didn't want them to do that because she owed back taxes.

Considering recent stories of car hacking, and that modern cars are computers with wheels attached - it is not that far off (though easier way would have been unsoldering the antennas, all of them :-p).

Gawker's editor has a wee bit of sarcasm left in him...

Personally, I'd give up the golf club (Waste to a Good Walk)

and keep the rice cooker (You can always make Moo Goo Gai Pan) ...

http://www.deathandtaxesmag.com/301352/ ... ankruptcy/

Tuesday’s court filings in the matter of Bollea v. Gawker Media, LLC et al. brought word that A.J. Daulerio will be moving to California soon to start a new job. His lawyers accordingly advised the Hogan lawyers (or again, more properly, Peter Thiel’s lawyers) Charles Harder, Kenneth Turkel, Shane Vogt, and David Houston, that Daulerio will be taking a few personal items with him to California: his computer, his phone, and “a limited amount of clothing.” (Even someone ensnared in a legal net as tight as the one Daulerio is in has the right to retain a few clothes, and presumably the basic tools he needs in order to make a living.) There’s just a little unfinished business to clear up before he leaves for California, though.

From a letter dated August 23, addressed to the Thiel/Hogan legal team by Gawker attorney Michael Berry:

"Would you like him to ship the other personal items he has in Florida — such as his rice cooker, dishes, books, and remaining clothing — to you? Or would it be easier to ship those items directly to Mr. Bollea or Mr. Thiel? If it is acceptable to Mr. Bollea and his benefactor Mr. Thiel, Mr. Daulerio would prefer to take those items with him to California, but [he] did not want to run afoul of their desires."

The general fascination with Daulerio’s rice cooker is widespread. But now, a second drama arises. The letter informs Thiel’s lawyers of an item Daulerio forgot to mention in deposition: a golf club that didn’t make it onto the list (a driver). “While it is likely too small for Mr. Bollea,” the letter concludes, “it might be the right size for one of his friends. Please advise if you would like Mr. Daulerio to include the club in the items he plans to turn over, and, if so, to whom it should be sent.”

You can read the letter below:

On a personal note...

I getting my library in order for the housepainters and I just found my copies of tax forms for 2005, 06, 07... That means get out the scanner and scan away. When I scanned my Mother's estate and her papers Plus my old taxes I put out 30 supermarket plastic bags filled with shredded paper for the garbagemen. I tied them all together and it looked like a giant caterpillar.

My bookshelves filled on wall and it was filled with books. The other wall had a bookcase that was filled. The floor under the computer desk was stacked with books. The top was stacked with books. (I use laptops). My bedroom had over 70 books. The living room had ten.

I think they figured out how to reproduce and were ragingly reproducing at nights. I don't remember buying all of them...

Dave (imported) wrote: Fri Sep 02, 2016 3:04 pm On a personal note...

I getting my library in order for the housepainters and I just found my copies of tax forms for 2005, 06, 07... That means get out the scanner and scan away. When I scanned my Mother's estate and her papers Plus my old taxes I put out 30 supermarket plastic bags filled with shredded paper for the garbagemen. I tied them all together and it looked like a giant caterpillar.

My bookshelves filled on wall and it was filled with books. The other wall had a bookcase that was filled. The floor under the computer desk was stacked with books. The top was stacked with books. (I use laptops). My bedroom had over 70 books. The living room had ten.

I think they figured out how to reproduce and were ragingly reproducing at nights. I don't remember buying all of them...

When I was moving city to city a number of years ago, I finally got tired of lugging my library around. I donated my entire psychology library to a library. Took some doing with over 1500 volumes.