I have read a number of online accounts of transitioning women. One of the things many of these describe is the huge costs that can be incurred in the effort to become 'passable'. I haven't discussed these much but I will tonight. Watching a set of DVDs on voice, hair and makeup tips for trans women got me thinking.
The videos are largely narrated by well-known Calpernia Addams. Calpernia used to be a makeup artist and is herself transsexual. In her opening remarks, she voices her objection to the use of term 'passing' to describe trans women fitting in and not being 'clocked'. That is, if they pass well people accept them as women and look no closer. Calpernia's problem with 'passing' is that it is dependent on how others view us, rather than our own feelings. She prefers to use 'blending' instead of 'passing'. I find the difference in terms too subtle to be useful. Her point is valid, though, in that it is how a transwoman feels about herself that is most important.
An interesting aside: a local trans female friend told me months ago that if people saw three cues (i.e., objects) on me that were clearly womanly, they would tend to accept me as a woman. I have found this to be a good rule of thumb and I use it whenever I get ready to leave the house. Examples of cues could be earrings with gems, eye shadow, well done makeup and feminine jewelry, among others.
At any rate, the videos are well made and address number of concerns specific to the transsexual community. Many women start electrolysis to remove their facial hair only after they have transitioned. So this obvious sign of masculinity remains. I am nowhere near finishing electrolysis but most of my facial hair is gray anyway. It is not usually very visible. The makeup video describes the most effective techniques for covering over facial hair.
Ms. Addams spends a lot of time describing differences between the typical male and typical female facial structures. Males tend to have a prominent brow ridge, for instance. Women generally lack this. Ways to highlight existing female-like facial features will be discussed later in the video.
There was a discussion in the video of facial feminization surgery (FFS), electrolysis, SRS, voice exercises, face lifts, dermabrasion on the face, orthodontics and breast augmentation surgery. Ms. Addams' emphasized in this discussion that many trans women either cannot afford or do not feel the need for FFS and complete electrolysis. This is perfectly fine
If I were to go through all of the procedures possible to look more feminine, I would likely spend something in the range of $80,000 to $100,000. There is no way I have the resources to do this. Besides, I already feel I 'blend' ('pass') well. For the most part, it doesn't matter to me if anyone else agrees with my self-assessment. The only thing that matters in the end is my own comfort level and I am fine there. Two therapists have stated I pass well, though, and women at work comment on my attractiveness. Of course, some of them are making a comparison between the woman I am and the man they used to see.
There is no hiding the fact that I am 56 years old, though this can be an advantage. As men and women age, their features tend to become more similar. This doesn't mean I don't want to look as good as I can. I will spend some time learning more about makeup techniques. The creative use of makeup is any easy and relatively inexpensive way to highlight existing desireable facial features while making more masculine ones less noticeable.
D
My T is finally lower. My estrogen level, however, has shown only a slight increase over two months ago. At that time, I was taking spironolactone for T suppression but no E at all.