TPinot Very glad that you are out of the wards and seem to be improving. I too did experience depression after being on Androcur and the T tanked. Thankfully, I never quite got to being suicidal. I too shared the experience of mlooking2.

The "data" from EA surveys and medical reports just tell me that everyone's mileage vary, and every body's and mind's reaction to low T varies.

I wonder if you might benefit from seeing a therapist to discover underlying causes of becoming so seriously depressed and suicidal so quickly once your T levels dropped.

All the best.