I suspect that I might be bisexual, but I do not know for sure because I have no experience ether way. My gender issues (I am transgendered and am curently in going through transition) have left me unable to deal with my sexuality. That and I am so shy that I have almost no social interaction with non-family.

When I look at a man I don't feel any real attraction, but I find thought of find thoughts of sex with a man as a woman to be sexually exciting. I can see a woman feel some attraction but I also look at these some woman and with that I had a body like theirs. Also sence I started my transition I seem to have developed some kind of mental block against seeing women in a sexual way.

okay, decided to throw my two-pence worth into this great debate! sorry if I offend anyone - it's not intended to - but here goes...

I spent a good few years (from about 15-21) with the adamant view that bisexuality was (as others have already stated) either a state-of-mind or a way for homosexuals to hide this fact with a more 'tolerable' facade... BUT having since grown-up and realised how narrow-minded this view was... to put it bluntly I realised that by having these views I was just as much of an asshole as the homophobes that I would quite happily consign to hell! Don't get me wrong - I certainly didn't go out on a witch-hunt looking for them, but I just didn't understand it...

Realistically, you could take the view that bisexuals are just lucky bastards that get to pick from anyone who they want (male/female) when it comes to choosing a partner... but on the flip side of the coin, maybe they are quite unlucky too... imagine if you were married with children (as a close friend was) only to fall in love with someone of the same sex, knowing the obivous prejudices and problems that come with living an open gay/lesbian life or being unable to decide which to life to lead? It's not impossible to think that would be a very hard decision to make - at least if you are straight/gay/lesbian you know which sex you are attracted to and so don't really have to choose which 'path' you're going to follow, which I should imagine is something most bisexual people ultimately have to face...

I cannot say in all honesty I would like to make that choice - do I settle down and have a family with this lovely girl and keep society happy or do I choose mr sexy who i'm absolutely crazy about, but means a life that is more open to prejudice and abuse from others than I might normally face? or do I have both? can I have both? what should I do? sorry, but that's one dilemma I can live without! personally, i'm gay and that's all there is to it - I fancy men / sleep with men / want to settle down with a man - end of story! However, to everyone who thinks that bisexuals don't 'exist', think on this: my first boyfriend and I were together for almost 3 years and during that time we had a very full and active sex life... once we seperated he fell in love with a very nice girl and has since married and had has 3 children... so who's to say that he isn't bisexual? I certainly don't think he was 'in denial of his heterosexuality' all the time he was with me, i've come to believe that he truly is bisexual - he simply finds people of both sexes attractive in both a physical and spiritual / personality way.

I suppose as a final thought, maybe we all have the potential to be homo/hetero/bisexual? I understand 'true love' for someone is when you love the whole person - and who's to say that after years of being attracted to one sex you suddenly become attracted to another? with a species as complicated as mankind maybe it's about time all the labels attached to people based upon whom they have sex with were finally dropped forever? I mean, I think it's pretty pathetic that we are now almost 10 years into the 21st century and yet we still have 'scientists' (i use the term very loosely) more interested in who we f*** instead of trying to cure life-threatening conditions such as HIV/AIDS or cancer! sorry for the sight deviation there - just trying to put the 'research' aspect of sexuality into context! Ultimately, if you love someone, they love you, you're happy and you're not hurting anyone else then i'd tell 'em to form an orderly queue and 'KISS MY F****** ASS!'

Ok, rant over! apologies for any offence some of my ramblings may cause to people, but hell we're all entitled to our opinion. Right or wrong? who's to say? :-\

wolverine1 (imported) wrote: Thu Apr 26, 2007 3:34 pm I cannot say in all honesty I would like to make that choice - do I settle down and have a family with this lovely girl and keep society happy or do I choose mr sexy who i'm absolutely crazy about, but means a life that is more open to prejudice and abuse from others than I might normally face? or do I have both? can I have both?

Yup, have 'em both. Works fine for me.

After all, monogamy is just as much a stereotype and prejudice unless you actively CHOOSE it, having considered the options.

I think the labels are what is bullshit. When you're having sex with a person of the same sex, you're practicing homosexual sex -- at that moment. If you're having sex with someone of the opposite sex, you're having heterosexual sex -- at that moment. There have been times in my life when I've been exclusively in heterosexual relationships and there has been times when I've been exclusively in homosexual relationships. Why should I use labels at all?

At this point in my life, no one that I would want to have sex with -- male or female -- would want to have sex with an old man like me. So, what would I call myself, now?

Actually, I think that people open to sex with either sex are the fortunate ones. Why eliminate half the human race as sex partners, when each sex offers so much? Given free access to both sexes, I've had sex with females one night and males the next. I may have even had one of each in the same day, but that was another time, when I was young and horny.

Slammr (imported) wrote: Sat Apr 28, 2007 4:57 pm I think the labels are what is bullshit. When you're having sex with a person of the same sex, you're practicing homosexual sex -- at that moment. If you're having sex with someone of the opposite sex, you're having heterosexual sex -- at that moment. There have been times in my life when I've been exclusively in heterosexual relationships and there has been times when I've been exclusively in homosexual relationships. Why should I use labels at all?

At this point in my life, no one that I would want to have sex with -- male or female -- would want to have sex with an old man like me. So, what would I call myself, now?

Actually, I think that people open to sex with either sex are the fortunate ones. Why eliminate half the human race as sex partners, when each sex offers so much? Given free access to both sexes, I've had sex with females one night and males the next. I may have even had one of each in the same day, but that was another time, when I was young and horny.

I've had sex at the same exact moment with both a man and a woman. So what does that make me? (It was lots of fun too!)

Kangan (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 29, 2007 9:13 am I've had sex at the same exact moment with both a man and a woman. So what does that make me? (It was lots of fun too!)

Tired?

Sorry, couldn't resist...

Tired?

sapient (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 29, 2007 10:23 am Sorry, couldn't resist...

Actually, it was the woman that was tired, as we kept taking turns with her between doing other stuff.

Kangan (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 29, 2007 9:13 am I've had sex at the same exact moment with both a man and a woman. So what does that make me? (It was lots of fun too!)

i can only say that personaly my sexuality is more fluid i can walk down the street and look at a woman and think she is sexy and a 1 second later see a guy and think the same thing ! ( am i a sex addict or just bi then ? )

a long time ago while on a night out i met a couple i started chating her up then her b/f walked over and she introduced him i appologised and got up to go but she stoped me and told me her fantasy was to watch him having sex with another man several drinks and a lot of talking later we went back together to a hotel and i had a night which i will never forget it just seemed so right, her watchin me have sex with him then she had sex with me and then we had a 3 some

a awesome night and the point when i realised that i was comfortable with my sexuality i think that is the thing if you are comfortable with your sexuality then it dosent matter what you are

I like women, especially young ones, of age, though.

That is not to say that I like ALL women.

I am not attracted to men...however, if somebody is that does not bother me.

As far as love goes, what does sex have to do with it, anyway? If you can love somebody and NOT have to have sex with them, then you can also have sex with somebody and not have to love them.

As for the latter, why bother, if you are a Eunuch or if you are not hormonally challenged?

Unless it feels good, what's the point?

This is a really interesting thread to read.

Years ago, when I was trying to work out what, exactly, I was and how I fitted in to the sexual world my father told me a story which he said came from Greek mythology. I've never been able to locate the story and so I suspect he may have made it up but it's so beautiful that I thought I'd post it here :

There was a point, in history, where the people displeased the Gods. To punish them the Gods decided to split each person into two. Before being split in half, some people were fully male, some were fully female, others were a mixture of both. After being split in half the people all tried to locate their 'other halves' - the ones who'd originally been fully male tried to locate their missing male half, the ones who'd originally been fully female tried to locate their missing female half and the ones who'd been both male and female tried to locate their missing halves amongst the male AND female population, some people chose not to locate their missing halves because they felt liberated in being separate. Thus it is, he said, that some people are straight, some are gay, others are bi-sexual and some of us prefer to remain alone.

It's a story of course, but I think it's a nice explanation anyway!