Discussion 1: Is the EA no longer friendly?

[Slammr (imported)]

In regards to my last post, I'm in no way saying that EA was better when we had other administrators. I think IE is doing an excellent job and can only admire him for the effort he's put into this site. Without him, EA wouldn't exist, and knowing how much work it can be, for so VERY little return, I'm not even certain why he's doing it. EA has changed, but then I've changed, too. What interests me when I first came to EA no longer has the same appeal it did then.

[A-1 (imported)]

Friendly,

OMG,

I didn't look at it as too friendly here at the beginning. The battle has been to help people. I know I offended people here when they first came here.

You cannot always help people by being their friend. You have to say what you think. After that, you know each other and THEN you become friends...

True friends can say almost anything to each other and remain friends.

I want to leave this thought for this discussion...

If you hear things that make you uncomfortable on the good 'ol E.A. it may NOT be because people are less friendly.

It may be actually because they comfortable enough with their friends here to SAY what's on their mind and how they REALLY feel.

[Kangan (imported)]

First: My thanks to Paolo, the Dark Lord of the Sith, for enlightening me about the history of the EA. May his light saber never lose its charge.

I'm strictly a newcomer, so I cannot comment about the past of the EA vs. the present. However, back in the 1980's I ran a pioneering message board and chatroom on a minicomputer via dialups. Most of our users had Teletype machines that ran at 110-baud (clunkety, clunk, clunk). We had our share of troubles with hackers and obnoxious posters back then, so the problems of the EA are not new for me.

One thing is quite clear about EA - it is a group of VERY diverse people and interests. I am amazed that the EA can function at all, given the extreme range of interests.

For such a diverse group to remain functional requires acceptance of ALL points of view. Clearly there is a wide gap in opinion and experience between (say) the TG folks and the fantasy folks. In real life the TG folks have to face discrimination by the straight world. I find it refreshing that on the EA most of us (TG or straight) manage to be non-discrimnatory.

However, there are also a few folks in the real world who delight in causing trouble for others. These persons should be identified and booted from the group ASAP. The problem arises when a misunderstanding causes someone to be tagged as a troublemaker when they are not.

Text messaging cannot convey true feelings or emotions (despite the use of emoticons). There is also the cloak of anonimity that electronic communication provides. The troublemaker or hacker will take advantage of this.

There must be some sort of dictatorial committee or manager to oversee operations. However, that person (or persons) absolutely must be fair to all the users and be free of bias. Not an easy task.

All I can say for right now is, "Keep up the good work."

[sapient (imported)]

I haven't had a very long experience of EA, but I can say that I haven't seen very much flaming going on. Well, the tone is sometimes harsh in "The deep dark cellar" or in "Political discussions", but there are warnings about that.

I have seen the odd message snubbing somebody new, but so far that has been single occassions were, I think, it hasn't been the intention to snubb anyone.

But I can say this - lack of moderation can corrupt and destroy a forum just as quick and just as utterly as overly active moderation can. What I see most of the time in forums where I hang out is a lot of very insensitive remarks about other peoples dreams, kinks, ideas and so on. It's a big world of "my kink is okey, but yours is bloody insane you sick bastard!"

A lot of that comes about when the moderators aren't active enough. And, when they finally show up and try to draw a line, the screaming begins: "I was just expressing my view!! Censorship!!" (Never mind that those 'views' hurt people...)

My impression is that this place is far from that.

Still, I read the same posts as anyone else and, most of the time, I read a lot of the topics even if they aren't of a personal interest to me. I can't think of any reason why perceptions would differ that much. (Except of course over such a long period of time as Paolo describe. And the personal conversation moderator-to-moderated involved in that.)

I don't think my words will change anyone elses perception 180°. But I hope I can reassure some of you that EA indeed still can be a pleasant and welcome experience!

Moderation is though. I tried it once on a mailinglist and grew disgusted after a very short while. No one else wanted that ungreatful task, and in the end the mailinglist was disbanded entirely instead. Maybe that is why I'd rather tolerate a moderator that makes the occational misstake then the alternative.

[tugon (imported)]

I think the wind was knocked out of the EA sails after the last great hack and we are still recovering. Much writing was lost and that hurt many of us. When the EA was down I realized how important it was to my life and how much I needed my community. Several of us tried to rewrite what was important to us but our posts did not have the same fire as when originally written. In some ways I have distanced myself emotionally from the EA to protect myself from the disappointment of losing the community. So I am wondering as a member if I am as friendly?

Moderators can affect the mood of the message boards but members also play a part. I have had a run in with one mod and still carry some resentment. Yes that is my issue and my problem. I need to rise above that and enjoy my community. I try not to write anything in response that I would not say to the same person if they were sitting accross from me. I think members should use the same manners they would use in polite society on the message boards. We can express our opinions in ways to share or to incite.

There are fantasy posts that I read and think "what the hell". I am sure some of my posts have caused the same reaction from others. Our issues in day to day life can not be expressed freely. People should be able to share freely on the EA and not be attacked as they might be from the general public. My very first feelings when posting and being welcomed by members of the EA was of safety and acceptance. We need to bring that back for all.

[kb57z (imported)]

I'd agree with Tugon's point about the negative effect of the last hacking incident.

Also, it's worth remembering that the "tone" of the whole place has changed because the membership has. I would vigorously refute any attempt to label the change as either "good" or "bad"; it is simply change. It's like a long-running soap opera, with old characters being written out and new ones appearing (and perhaps where the scriptwriters aren't paying attention to the "Previously on the Eunuch Archive".) The newcomers don't know all the back history and so don't realise what underlies some of the interactions with (and between) the "old timers", nor why there are things that provoke a vigorous response from the moderators.

[jemagirl (imported)]

It's like a long-running soap opera, with old characters being written out and new ones appearing (and perhaps where the scriptwriters aren't paying attention to the "Previously on the Eunuch Archive".)

LOL

I this analogy I play the standard sopa opera role of the character that mysteriously disappears with out explanation, only to reappear many seasons later as if nothing had happened. Later it will come out that I was in some funky cult and escaped leaving every thing behind.

[Slammr (imported)]

I'd agree with Tugon's point about the negative effect of the last hacking incident.

Also, it's worth remembering that the "tone" of the whole place has changed because the membership has. I would vigorously refute any attempt to label the change as either "good" or "bad"; it is simply change. It's like a long-running soap opera, with old characters being written out and new ones appearing (and perhaps where the scriptwriters aren't paying attention to the "Previously on the Eunuch Archive".) The newcomers don't know all the back history and so don't realise what underlies some of the interactions with (and between) the "old timers", nor why there are things that provoke a vigorous response from the moderators.

I like this post, and I agree with it. It's not so much that EA is "less friendly," but that it's changed; and it can't help but change. The message board is but a reflection of the people that make it up, and as they change -- as old members leave and new ones arrive -- the tone of the board will change. No way to change that or necessarily should it be changed. I realize that what I miss about the old EA is some of the people that are no longer around, and there's nothing anyone can do to change that.

Too, I've changed. I'm still interested enough to pay almost daily visits and to read a few posts, but most of them, I mark "read" and move on. Also I don't write as many castration stories as I once did. After castrating a few hundred males -- probably more -- in my stories, it's hard to come up with a new way to do it. And I spend more time these days creating CGI art than I do writing text stories. So if I indicated that EA is a less friendly place, I'll take that back. It's different, but not necessarily less friendly.

[BossTamsin (imported)]

Everyone, your responses are great. Just fantastic. I'm currently going through them and making notes on things to think about. There have been a LOT of very good points raised, and there is a lot to think about in here.

While obviously I can't please everyone, I see it as my job to see to it that as many users as possible enjoy the site and keep coming back. That includes the moderators, too. Without them, this place would be one hell of a lot harder to run.

Please keep sharing your thoughts. This is a community, and every little bit helps.

[BudleyBare (imported)]

I voted in the poll earlier in this past week, but refrained from adding any comments until I had time to noodle this matter yet again. I say "yet again" because I previously (mid-2006) had to walk away from EA for personal reasons, and that hiatus lasted several months. Those reasons were primarily personal, but there was a bit of the need based on the content of this board. I will admit that the political discussions and personal attacks here on EA were a factor in my decision to step aside for a while.

What follows is where I am today.

I no longer visit EA on a daily basis. Initially when I was unexpectedly becoming a castrated male, I visited several times a day (after I was out of the hospitals and thinking more rationally). I needed and wanted to know everything I could learn about loosing first one and then ultimately my second testicle. The information AND SUPPORT found here was invaluable. And then the personal stresses continued to increase (mostly related to my mother's status and declining condition), and I stepped aside for quite a while.

After quite a while, I did return, and I then would visit at least once every other day, and sometimes every day, but only for a quick check. It was when I returned to the EA that I actually stopped reading *all* of the new postings, as I had previously done. My prior experiences with the political discussions and the sometimes personal attacks was a strong moderating factor for me. I did not, and still do not understand why off-topic discussions (according to my viewpoint as to what off-topic subjects include) are not only tolerated, but actually encouraged here -- witness the last dedicated category with four forums for politics, jokes, computers, etc. To my way of thinking, this web site is about testicles and penises, not jokes, politics and similar subjects. To have a small "injection" of an off-topic as a sidebar to an on-topic discussion is quite acceptable.

I am not opposed to political discussions, for instance, but I believe they do not belong here. I do understand that we are all human beings, doing what we each do, and that those subjects are part of our lives and interests. However, if I read a book about mathematics, I do not expect, nor accept, that because the author also has an interest in "xxx" that I am to be subjected to those other interests. You can say that I am not required to read the off-topic postings (and I never have been), but it just is not, to my way of thinking, even appropriate for off-topic postings to be here.

After a good deal of meditation (witness a long time during my recent trip to Antarctica), I have come to the realization that my feelings are my "stuff", and I don't wish to impose any censorship on others. I would not have even put these thoughts into writing had it not been for this poll and solicitation for feedback. I do understand that each of us is unique, with many diverse issues and interests, etc.

And so today I check EA once a week, sometimes twice a week, just to keep in touch and see if there is anything of interest from or for our fellow members. I now continue NOT to read the off-topic postings. I now continue to cringe when reading an on-topic posting and find a personal attack (but those have been far fewer in the past several months).

The bottom line here is that I believe the EA management team needs to be very clear as to what the purpose of EA is, and to state it unambiguously right up at the top of the forum, and to make it a required acknowledgment during the registration process. And then enforce it. That way there is full disclosure in advance, and people will know what it is that they are opting into. In my particular case, even if I knew in advance of the off-topic content, I still would have registered because I was desperate to get all the information I could about what I was undergoing.

The most important comment that I wish to make here is that I genuinely appreciate everything that EA has done for me, and especially for the efforts of the management team (changing as it has in my short 16 months as a registered member). You guys (gals?) do an incredible job and take a lot of crap. Regardless of what you decide to change, if anything, I respect you and the decisions that you make, and appreciate what you have chosen to do for those in need.