Are we in the wrong bathroom or are you?

[A-1 (imported)]

Funny that you all should bring this up.

For years I have been fascinated with those who could tell what sex bathroom fixtures are and "brand" a bathroom and dedicate it as either MALE, or FEMALE.

...I mean, everyone knows a Bidet from a Urnal, but the toilets, they are something else.

Well, I recently found out how it must be done...

I swear this is true, because at work they re-did the men's room, but they put the female toilets in.

I know that they are female toilets because I can no longer read the paper because I have to hold my penis when I sit to shit to keep it from getting wet.

In a male toilet there used to be plenty of clearance between the dangling bits and the water. However, in a FEMALE toilet, this wasted space is NOT necessary.

I know it is a problem determining the sex of a bathroom for the uninitiated.

I know it is just not me, either.

The other day the boss comes into the stall next to me and I hear him lower his pants as he sits to pinch a loaf.

All of a sudden he screams and says, "Wow, that water is cold!"

So I yells back to him, YEAH, it's DEEP, TOO!

[HairyHarry (imported)]

I used one of those WCs with high water level once in someones house. I thought it was just a style feature, now I know different, it's a girlie WC!

[joydivision_27 (imported)]

Hompty, you are to be commended for your bravery in standing up for who you are.

We as human beings have such an amazing capcity to be AWARE of gender -- and to consciously defy it, which makes such a unique species.

I hope you continue to advocate for your non-gendered status. In certain ancient cultures, eunuchs and hermaphrodites were considered divine -- because to defy animal genitalia was to defy (or control) nature itself. Genderless beings were considered angelic (or demonic too). Regardless, you are your own unique self -- and your Self is You.

Who gives a damn about earrings or restrooms? I say wear bigger earrings! And a skirt! And then insist on using the men's room!

You rock .....!

joey

[A-1 (imported)]

HA!

Bitches would not say a DAMNED thing if you were George Michaels. (http://www.noolmusic.com/blogs/YouTube_ ... 20Go.shtml)

He used to wear TWO Earrings one on each ear...

I hope that you clicked on that video. Those guys had WAY too much fun with that one...

[dingbat (imported)]

Hi Z,

I've been reading this thread with interest. I was particularly interested in your manager's response to you.

One of the first things people say to me in that sort of situation is 'should we call you he or she?', oddly enough this isn't something that bothers me, I really don't care much one way or the other and yet it seems terribly important to other people!

When I was younger I used to be much more aggressive in my approach to this. Not angry aggressive, but just felt much more need to ensure that people understood. Now, I suppose I'm slightly more tolerant with people but there are still things which really wind me up.

One of my favourite tactics, whenever this subject comes up at work, which it does from time to time, is to start talking about genetics with them (you'd be amazed at how quickly the subject bores people!)

However, there are still people in my workplace who, behind my back, refer to me as 'it' which isn't very nice. Maybe they think I don't know they do this, maybe they hope I DO know, I'm really not sure. Even after all these years, that still hurts me.

I might be agendered but I am definitely NOT an 'it'!!

The trouble is, there aren't really any words for people to use when referring to or speaking to people like us. There is a Christian lady at my work who, trying to be kinder than those who call me 'it', calls me a 'he/she' all the time (which actually feels worse!)

I'd like to be able to tell you that as you get older it gets easier but it doesn't really. But what DOES happen is that you learn to live in harmony with it better. You learn to feel less angry at the world and more accepting that we are ALL different (and that includes those people who don't understand us), I suppose in reality, you just learn that the most important thing is being true to yourself. Know who you are and stick with it. Don't let others make you feel wrong in any way, you're not.

Easier said than done, I know that all too well.

As for the earring thing, personally I feel that you should be allowed to wear them if you want to (unless there's some health and safety reason which there doesn't appear to be as genetic women are allowed to wear them). I would stand up for that as well Z, as an agendered person, you DO have a right to express yourself. Problem is, that right is fairly loosely protected (in a legal sense) and until we get better legal recognition we will always be peddling on a back foot.

Good luck anyhow.

[homptydumpty (imported)]

i know that questions are always going to be asked. its hard when sometimes i just dont have the answer, and am not willing to look for it.

The most impowering thing is knowing who i am and not feeling the need to explain that to others. I do think that most of us here know what we are looking for, however i didnt come hear looking for friends and support, it feels like that is what i have found. It makes me happy. Really i was looking for some understanding and opinions, most of use have those.

I continue to use male and female restrooms, and wear my earings. to me its not important to make a change in my behavior, because i know deep down inside i am doing nothing wrong. unisex public facilities might be an easy answer to some of these issues, however i really dont mind the way things are now, except for sometimes feeling unsafe.

[truly committed (imported)]

except for sometimes feeling unsafe..

*ill come and protect you!*

[Mac (imported)]

i know that questions are always going to be asked. its hard when sometimes i just dont have the answer, and am not willing to look for it.

The most impowering thing is knowing who i am and not feeling the need to explain that to others. I do think that most of us here know what we are looking for, however i didnt come hear looking for friends and support, it feels like that is what i have found. It makes me happy. Really i was looking for some understanding and opinions, most of use have those.

I continue to use male and female restrooms, and wear my earings. to me its not important to make a change in my behavior, because i know deep down inside i am doing nothing wrong. unisex public facilities might be an easy answer to some of these issues, however i really dont mind the way things are now, except for sometimes feeling unsafe.

I think that you are rather fortunate to be able to pass as either female or male as you desire. From reading your posts, it appears that you are more comfortable in the female role. Thus, I assume that you feel safe in the female public restrooms and unsafe in the male public restrooms.

[wolverine1 (imported)]

hompty, I am not worthy!!