TheWannabe (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:22 pm
I'm 21 years old. By now, it has become obvious to me that I am never going to find the girlfriend I want. I'm not handsome myself, and even start to become a little fat, yet I would never want an ugly girlfriend. Despite this, I don't consider myself superficial. I simply have been searching for a beautiful, sweet, cute, and intelligent girl. All my attempts over the years have been fruitless. I am now depressed and everything feels hopeless.
I have a lot of femdom fantasies -- I've had them since a little kid -- but I think I'm 50% submissive and 50% dominant. I have castration fantasies. This story I would love to have happen to me:
http://www.asstr.org/~Kristen/putrid/casparty.htm
Alright. I don't have the balls to cut off my own balls(!). Even if it was done in the way I want to to be done, or in a hospital without pain, I would probably regret it afterwards.
Yet I can't stop thinking of how nice it would be to finally be releaved from the constant pain of being overly horny all the damn time. I will most likely never get to live out my fantasies, not even if I become really rich. So wouldn't the most humane thing for me to do to get castrated?
Like many of you, the thought of a beautiful, dominant female forcing my balls off turns me on. But what's after that? I have read a lot about eunuchs, so I have a pretty good idea, but I don't think it's possible to fully grasp how it feels until you've done it. And I probably won't do it.
But GOD I hate the feeling of those stupid balls between my legs. It would be nice to just have a penis there. And frankly, I hate cleaning up the cum after I've jerked off. No cum would just be a pro side for me...
But I guess it's hard to get hard when you have no balls. Hrm...
Aren't there any pills that you can eat that have no side effects and simply make you lose interest in sex? I would love to learn about those. Especially if they are cheap. This would be much better than getting a castration, which is so definite and permanent.
I guess if there were any such thing, most of you wouldn't seek castration. But I guess I can always hope for them to come up with this "reversed viagra" pill. (I would buy from a spam mail if they offered me it!)
I strongly suggest that you try the least harmful experiments first. In my opinion, the least harmful thing to try is Tamoxifen. Taking 10 mg/day for a week should temporarily eliminate your libido, making it easier for you to think about your options. When you stop taking Tamoxifen, it will take about a month for your libido to return. I think that this is because the smallest size, 10 mg, is too much. Experiment with one tablet every two or three days and you will also have less risk of side effects. I have read recently that the original dosage determination (for treating breast cancer) were too high.
Don't use it with something else, like Androcur, which will, at the least, cause sterility if you use it too long. You don't need less testosterone if you lose your interest in sex.
Added later:
Tamoxifen costs about 40 to 60 cents per 10 mg pill, depending on where you buy it. Some web sites require a prescription, but the cheapest don't. Check their reputation before spending money. Typical, $40 for 100 pills, $29 for 60 pills.
These are not "reverse viagra" pills. They don't have any effect on your ability to get an erection, they don't keep you from getting an erection and having sex, and they don't keep you from getting a woman pregnant. Instead, they do exactly what you asked for; they "
" They affect your desires, not your abilities.
One interesting side effect; Tamoxifen slightly increases your testosterone level.
You said that "
" That kind of partner is hard to find, but if you do find her some day I thing that it will take care of a lot of your problems. Do you want both submissive and dominant the same evening, or do you want them on different days? If you are willing to just enjoy oral sex for a while without intercourse, you can be dominant when you bring her to orgasm, and she can be dominant when she returns the favor. If you didn't like what she did when she was dominant, take your turn again; as long as only the one whose turrn it is to be dominant can decide to stop, it won't take you long to both learn to play fair.
You said "
TheWannabe (imported) wrote: Wed Mar 21, 2007 1:22 pm
I simply have been searching for a beautiful, sweet, cute, and intelligent girl.
" Beautiful is often a poor choice. Either she thinks too much of herself or whe knows she can find someone better than you. There is less competition for intelligent girls, and they have more imagination in bed. Furthermore, intelligence lasts, beauty doesn't. I'm not sure that sweet goes with 50 submissive and 50% dominant. "Sweet" girls tend to be submissive. If cute is important to you, you ought to be able to find that. In short, there's nothing wrong with knowing what you want, but be sure that you haven't excluded 100% of the female population. I strongly suggest that you have done that and there may have been nothing wrong with the way you looked for a girl friend, just none to find.
Do you have any female friends--just friends, not girl friends? If you have one that you are sure you can trust, you might think about talking to her after Tamoxifen has made it possible for you to talk to her about sexual things while making it clear to her that you've lost your libido and won't be making a pass at her. Sometimes, a female friend who you trust and who trusts you can be a great help. She doesn't have to be your own age, although I met my closest female friend when we were both in grade school.
I hope that you have found at least some of this useful.