mrt (imported) wrote: Sun Sep 10, 2006 7:09 pm Well I've had that chance at feeling no desire to be sexual. For me it was just awful. Mrs T was not a happy camper and along with lack of sex drive and no erections (night or day) was a loss of energy, anxiety issues, mental haze and more. You can have it!
Mrt, at the time you had the so-called "low t" issue, it is very likely you still did not experience how castration or chemical castration would have affected you. Instead, you may have suffered of excess DHT or estrogen. I would like to mention that, because my and the experience of several other eunuchs appears to be in opposition of the general outcome you have so far described and attributed to castration.
The problem with extrapolating experiences of men with borderline low t-levels (or periods with impotence) to castration (ie. shutting down testicular output without HRT) is that there are often very different mechanisms at work. Besides testosterone, testicles also secrete the following androgens (relative potency in %, with testosterone = 100%): Dihodrytestosterone (200%), Androstanediol (65%), Androsteneodine (25%), Androsterone (10%) and Dihydroepiandrosterone (10%), as well a little estrogen and progesterone. Some of the functions of various androgens are still poorly understood. It seems that testosterone is the most vulnerable hormone; it has been repeatedly demonstrated that with age, while testosterone tends to decrease, testicular output of dihydrotestosterone (the most potent androgen) and estrogen actually increase. This process often tends to exacerbate various forms of androgen damage; accelerated rate of balding, prostate enlargement, elevated blood pressure and increased thickness and growth of hairs on "unwated places" as well as gynecomastia, while total t, muscle mass and libido decrease, etc (this is because DHT has no apparent effect on muscle mass and energy levels). Decreasing the T vs. DHT ratio tends to accelerate this process, even if the DHT level remains constant. Therefore, having a lower t count says absolutely nothing about any other hormones, and could indicate an imbalance and overabundance of other androgens or even estrogens wich could easily result in some of the problems described. Sometimes low blood t can still show up as high bioavailable serum t test (ref. some reports on EA). The reason why men sometimes report feeling better either castrated or on HRT may be because both methods either directly eliminate (castration) or affect the ratio (HRT) vs. the "imbalance" of various androgens (however unlike castration, adverse androgenic effects of HRT would still continue). One of my eunuch contacts on the Archive, "Skoptzikov", struggled to achieve the "Eunuch Calm" with a t level of 50 following castration. However, after taking an anti-androgen that further decreased his level to 20, he finally reported to have achieved serenity and is feeling better than ever - a seemingly small decrease with measurable outcome. Another eunuch I have corresponded with, Shawn Benedict, does a lower dose of HRT and reports "feeling much healthier than on my own testosterone", even though he was not hypogonadal prior to castration.
Basically, HRT is another form of "castration", with one major exception that it adds only one androgen while decreasing all the others by shutting down the testicles - exactly the reason why HRT really can't be considered a "second puberty", unless you simultaniously also supply all of the androgens mentioned. As a potentially powerful addictive, testosterone may act on the brain in a similar vein as say, tobacco or ritalin, causing a temporary feeling of extreme tiredness and sluggishness upon gradual or abrupt withdrawal, especially if the initial levels were high.
It is interesting, however, to note that virtually everyone who tried chemical castration report feeling better, happier and sometimes healthier as their testosterone levels crash, as do many physical eunuchs not on HRT. I have also observed that compulsive thoughts, anxiety and anxiety associated depression tends to decrease after elimination of testosterone dramatically (Me, Bobby, Jeff A., etc.). There are no reports of "mental haze" in the majority of eunuchs as far as I am concerned; physical strenght definitely decrease, although "energy in all other aspects of life" - as Spector put it - tends to increase. Fatigue and Hot Flashes tends to improve significantly as years go by and the addictiveness to testosterone eventually subsides. The development of the so-called "Eunuch Clam" or "Eunuch Serenity" feeling does not happen to everyone but usually develops instantly, those who have experienced it usually avoid HRT altogether (as I experienced it, it feels like a warm pleasant feeling of relaxation and inner serenity).
Of course, the issue of libido and "feeling male" is very much a personal thing and having (or not having) it may be experienced as something positive or negative at the same time.
Mrt, if you ever get castrated I suggest you do a trial run for at least a year and see how you would feel (or you can try chemical castration instead). You may be surprised to find out that a "castrate" vs. "borderline low" level may, in fact, be experienced very differently.