Why do we feel this way?

[philip1 (imported)]

for me the posession of equipment caused major problems I had no self esteem and I pretty much hated myself. I may be an odd duck but when I answered the cogati question mentioned above I answered #5 because its true.

[thefraj (imported)]

I may be an odd duck but when I answered the cogati question mentioned above I answered #5 because its true.

Not at all Phil ... if truth be known I answered 4 (or it may have been 3, can't remember! one or the other!)

That's why I thought it was an awesome question ... it doesn't have any obvious element of wishing to change genders, but is a nice slidy-scale to how much the questionee(?) doesn't identify with being male. (may tie in with what you were saying about self-image and equipment?)

I suppose thats the question I'm wrestling with at the moment ... why?

[SplitDik (imported)]

I'm starting to wonder if there really, really is another gender - neither male nor female. But something different.

It's ironic how our mind tends to try to compartmentalize -- even the idea of a third gender is limiting. I like the image of the spectrum because that's what it is. I even think it is more complicated when you add bisexuality and such, plus as I've mentioned in other threads I believe that in addition to varying level of attraction we also feel various levels of repulsion. For example, I know gay guys who would find the idea of sex with women totally repulsive while others just would prefer not to.

Keep thinking spectrum rather than "third sex" and then we'll be on the right track toward accepting the true complexity of being human.

[Patient (imported)]

I've always worried about life being a "zero sum solution".I think it's the combination of the grading system at school (especially "grading on the curve") and the scoring systems of athletic games which pound into us the idea that every good thing for someone implies a bad thing for someone else. Hierarchical organizations also reinforce this idea---for everyone who gets a raise or a bonus or a promotion there are others who don't, and often at least some of those others seem to us equally or more deserving.

.

[polecat (imported)]

Uh... about the COGIATI test. It's um... well, some of the questions aren't exactly... let me put it this way:

Your penis and testicles are destroyed, perhaps due to an accident or injury, but they are gone forever. You are otherwise the same as now, but you are utterly without your reproductive organs, just smooth, flat flesh. What is the most realistic statement of how you would deal with this?

I would consider suicide. That would be absolutely horrible.

That would be terrible.

I am not sure how I would feel. I could cope, given enough time.

It would not bother me. I sometimes think it would be an improvement.

I often wish something like that would happen. I seriously do.

Most women would veer away from options 4 and 5, if they seriously considered what they'd do with a cock and balls. Really, I think the COGIATI test is more to test whether you're extremist and devoted to the notion of genital manipulation than whether you're male or female in the way you think.

...then again, I'd pick option 5...

[thefraj (imported)]

Well, I stand corrected

Had a nice chat today with a friend I've known since I was six. Which was nice to hear his views, because he is (if you'll forgive the phrase) "normal" in that way. So I put that "accident" question to him.

He reckons that 3 wouldn't be such an unusual answer for a lot of men. Since it's a hypothetical question, to say

"I'm not sure how I would feel"

is probably not to be unexpected. Because unless >actually faced< with that situation, I suppose a lot of people simply wouldn't know how to feel!

Oh well, there goes my idea :p

Hehe

~Rog

[peter1963 (imported)]

I knew for 20 years that I wanted to loose my balls and dick. That i hated them, and my male sex-drive. So that was indeed long before the WWW. It was terrible to live wit that feelings without being able to share them with someone. The WWW changed all that. And for me even more important: there turned out to be practical ways to have the bodily changes I want. I am not transsexual, as far as I know. I am transgender, and only want to loose them. Happily, that is possible now...

[peter1963 (imported)]

I feel mostly gender-neutral. I do not wish to become a woman. But I have my gender-issues, I definitely do not feel 'male'. I think that there is a whole broad range between 'male' and 'female'...

[thefraj (imported)]

Okay here's an interesting way of looking at this from the other way around:

Imagine you found out you could never be castrated. (medical complications, etc). And could not even take anti-androgens or testosterone blockers.

How would this make you feel?

I know for me I would have been very unhappy and continued to obsess with castration and probably still be self-harming, even now. Perhaps even risk the procedure, and be willing to risk life in the process.

I don't know what this means.

~Rog

[Mac (imported)]

Hehe, okay, going back to the thread; there's a question from both the Anne Moir and COGIATI test which stuck in my mind because it touches on this 'inability to fully identify with being male'. Nothing more, (no mention of changing genders!)

Your penis and testicles are destroyed, perhaps due to an accident or injury, but they are gone forever. You are otherwise the same as now, but you are utterly without your reproductive organs, just smooth, flat flesh. What is the most realistic statement of how you would deal with this?

1. would consider suicide. That would be absolutely horrible.

2. That would be terrible.

3

. I am not sure how I would feel. I could cope, given enough time.

4. It would not bother me. I sometimes think it would be an improvement.

5. I often wish something like that would happen. I seriously do. Surely any 'normal' male would find this terribly distressing, and possibly be ready to risk life than so easily give up a gender identity like that? (Answers 1 or 2)

>>What makes us so different?<<

I would definately choose # 5.