surf_toad (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 27, 2004 5:22 am i like your Avatar too, Jema. i nearly fell out of my chair when i saw it. you have a lot more courage than i. i have often felt somewhat transgendered but i do not fit in either the "male" or "female" roll at all. i am in the middle. there is no place for someone like me in society. There is no mental health category i fit into. i am simply androgynous. i have no desire to be male, but no desire to be female either. i guess that is why this site is here.

Thank You Toad,

I should tell you that I am also very much in the middle when it comes to my gender. I usually go about my daly life as male even when I am feeling very feminine on the inside. Its a bit of subterfuge that makes me feel a little like an impostor. Most people don't really pick up on this and never suspect that I am transgendered. Its ironic that when I dress to mach my gender is when I get people who treat me as though I am trying to fool them.

When I am en fem I can be equaly outside my ideal gender. The truth is that I am some where in the middle most of the time. Exactly where depends on how I am feeling at the moment, and it does tend to have a cycle. So for me the best of all worlds is to be androgynous. When I feel fem I can dress and act that way and when I am feeling more male I can act and dress that way as well. I know people in general will have a hard time dealing with this ambiguity but at least I wont feel like an impostor. I remember when I was in my very early teens I was often mistaken for a girl. I miss that very much.

Jema

i don't really identify as male. i never have identified as female. i have never liked the fact that i have male genitalia and if i did not, i would not live as female. i have impersonated a male for 47 years now and don't really feel like starting over (as a female). i have really identified with tomas over the years, essentially a male without genitals, though they still exist for me. i hate the fact that they are there, but i have to live with family and friends and a job ..... i hope this opens up the window to my soul a little. i am always in the chatroom (it seems anyway) and have no problem chatting with anybody (in fact its lucky when anybody else gets a word in edgewise)

see you in the chatroom (Jemagril, you are still a FOX)

toad

surf_toad (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 27, 2004 8:14 pm i have impersonated a male for 47 years now and don't really feel like starting over (as a female).

Hi surf toad,

Your comments are exactly the same as my feelings. I too have been impersonating a male all my life, though as a gay male. I certainly don't want to start over as outwardly female. My one desire is

blivetboy (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 14, 2004 8:33 pm to be able to take a man the way a woman does. I w

ant to go beyond nullification and have a complete genital re-assignment.