The difference is not necessarily competence. It is too often integrity.

My mother worked as a receptionist for a dentist for a while. He was damaging teeth so that he could repair, then replace them. Lots of little "accidents", slips with the grinder while removing cavities. He bragged about it after the patients left.

Had a couple of in-laws in another town that lost all their teeth to a dishonest dentist. After they got dentures they learned from acquaintences that he had a reputation for destroying teeth.

Get a different dentist. It sounds like yours is an enemy.

Second opinion said, I have one tooth on the watch list. All the rest of my mouth is just fine as it is. No need for pulling teeth, no need for drilling, Rest at ease.