photoglenn (imported) wrote: Sun Dec 29, 2019 10:02 am I have no depression symptoms, just despair. While some, perhaps yourself, consider me "fortunate" for having a medical need to be castrated, I have not yet come to that conclusion. I will try my best in 2020 to realign my mental and emotions to accept the new me and not fret so much on the loss. While I have been getting some good input on testosterone options, which I plan to discuss with my physician at my next routine visit in January, I am beginning to wonder if I should just accept my "good fortune" and become testosterone free, since I have the option. To anyone who has done this, what would be the positive and negative side effects of this from personal experience. Sure I looked up on the internet, but there is nothing better than to hear it from someone who has actually gone from having normal testosterone to no testosterone. The artificial testosterone is not working very well for me, so chosing to go testosterone free is another option that I might consider.
One thing in the Eunuch Archive is those of us who are eunuchs, have come to being so through a variety of reasons. I would not consider it fortunate for you, because you never wanted this to happen in the first place. In my case, being voluntary, I do consider myself fortunate. What I am is sympathetic with you, as it's a typical human reaction when someone is going through a difficult process. I'm sure we've all had some difficulty in life somewhere, so can be supportive.
I'm much like yourself, have difficulty opening up to people in person. The only thing I can offer is I had to see a therapist in person to complete the voluntary journey I went through. Where this is similar for you and I is it was incredibly difficult for me to do that. But... I did it. Once I was able to get over the anxiety of doing so, it was very helpful.
I'm in agreement with most of the folks here about the testosterone concerns. I think once you get those sorted, things will get much better. Having been on high doses and low, I have seen a variety of issues with my testosterone therapy. I found I had symptoms much like you're describing when my levels were low. Back in late 2015, I found myself around this time of year just getting by, going to work, and then I was so drained by the end of the day all I could do is come home, turn on my tv, and hide under a blanket. Then I got a much higher dose, and that went away. The problem was, I got that Red Blood Cell (RBC) count issue someone else mentioned. So we've moved my dosage down, and it appears the issues I've had one either side are starting to mitigate.
It's going to be a process, but I think once you get this sorted, life is going to be much, much, better.
--LT