SplitDik (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 12, 2018 11:32 pm
I think the key to your concern (about whether you'll continue with further modifications) is you need to understand your actual motivation. Here is a list of some of the types of motivations I've seen:
- Some people are dealing with a gender identity aspect with idea of becoming "female" to various degrees, and for those they would likely continue to be interested in "mods" that further feminize -- such as getting a vagina, enlarging breasts and so forth.
- Some people are dealing with a gender identity aspect with idea of becoming "asexual", and for those people they are usually quite content once they have achieved their castration or nullification without interest in any other further extreme body modifciation.
- Some people are dealing with an "aesthetic dysmorphia" where they are interested in creating something that looks a specific way or maybe something that looks unusual/shocking -- such a person may indeed just keep going with other amputations and such (I would say Adam Curlykale is in this category as not only was he interested in nullification, but wants ribs removed, tattooed his eyes, bleached his beard, and so forth). If you're already really into tattoos and piercings and also interested in nullification then you might be this type.
- Some people are ashamed of something about their sexuality, often either because they are gay or because they are sex addicts (or maybe because they have a sexually criminal interest such as rape or pedophilia) and seek to rid themselves of their sex drives and/or ability to complete the sex act. This is my category. Such people usually stop either by getting proper psychological help, or once their genitals are removed. They have no interest in other modifications.
- Some people are into submission and see being castrated as part of that, like some sort of chastity, or else they associate a cock and balls with male dominance and so want to "give that up" as a token of their submission. You'll often hear such folk discussing offering up their genitals, or having them removed in some sort of ceremony. These people may continue other mods along the same sort of theme -- such as getting branded.
- Some people have fetishized the act of being castrated but are not actually interested in the state of being a eunuch. You know you're this type if you have specific ideas about how you want to be castrated. For a while on this forum there was a guy who was obsessed with being castrated by a woman who had her sleeves rolled up. The sleeves being rolled up was all he could talk about. Such people often never even go through with actual castration, but will skirt around it getting CBT or just obsessing over the fantasy.
While it isn't always wise to label people, I think it can also be useful to look for patterns especially since the original poster was concerned about where his pattern of behavior was taking him.
So figure out what type you are and that will help you bound your concern about whether you'll continue with further modifications.
I don't know you at all, but your brief description makes me think that you're already realizing you might be in the "aesthetic" category. I say this because your worry belies it, plus you specifically mention dermal implants and tattoos. The most telling this is that you even consider castration to be a "mod". For people who are transitioning identity it isn't just a "mod" but rather a "correction", for people who are seeking relieve from sex addiction it is a "cure", for submissive types it is an "offering", etc.
So sorry but I think you may indeed be at risk for further modification. Now I only say "at risk" because you seem worried about the prospect. However, there are plenty of people who do some serious body mods and seem to be pretty happy with it and otherwise well adjusted. But I do understand being concerned about it too. I guess you need to decide if you are indeed prone to it and then you need to figure out where it is coming from . For example, some people are modifying themselves due to some sort of self-rejection (i.e. a true dysmorphia). However, others are simply artistically inclined and enjoy presenting an edgy persona. You gotta sort that out.