jcat (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2014 3:55 am
So how are you doing SgPhd512? Are you OK and how are you healing up? best wishes.
The wound has nearly healed and my stitches have been removed. Thankfully I did not experience any complications and pain / bleeding was minimal. My scrotum does look a bit mangled on the side where I cut myself and I'm not really sure what the surgeon did there, he removed my entire spermatic cord and even cut over my inguina
YodaNell (imported) wrote: Thu Sep 11, 2014 5:03 am
l canal, probably to reduce the risk of infection.
Yes, yes...I totally agree. I understand this maddening desperation, I went through this myself. I am also not judging because this desire is incredibly overpowering and strong.
My point is...Why bothering warning others? This same desperation overtook them as well and they will not heed to this warning anyway. I didn't. I took the risk, but did not bother to deter others from doing the same. What I did say was:
"...As a disclaimer, this did work for me. I did a lot of research, took advice on the EA boards, learned about nerve blocks, banding and so forth. Although I'm positive this will work for you, you still do so at your own risk, obviously..."
I must say that nobody did it my way as far as I know. The scariness of my story was a warning to others...I think.
...or, are we warning others just to keep our c
oncious clear in that we've done our duty to warn?:)
I agree with jcat on warning others. If I had been successful and I had removed both testicles and closed the wound by myself I doubt I would have said anything or made this thread in the first place, but the enormity of what I was doing really hit me when I was sitting in a pool of my own blood in the bathroom with my testicle in my hand, thinking I was going to bleed to death. I really hope someone reads this thread and doesn't repeat my mistake. I failed because I thought that I could perform this surgery on myself with no practical experience, using only what I had learned on the internet to guide me, but that almost never works. When panic sets in and you feel like you've forgotten everything you read about you WILL regret your descision to do this. The only reason why I was even able to remove one was because I didn't want have these scars for the rest of my life and feel like I achieved nothing.
---
On a side note: The doctor actually only removed one of my testicles, when I posted this I had just woken up from anaesthetic 2-3 hours earlier and was confused about the whole situation and I couldn't feel my scrotum, because of the pain, I only found out I still had one ball left after almost an entire day. This scares me, because I don't really know if I will ever attempt something like this again, even though what remains is a ball that has been really damaged due to alcohol / calcium chloride injections.
If anyone is wondering, I did all of this due to gender dysphoria. It is virtually impossible to get anti-androgens in my country nor is there any trans healthcare system that could help me with my problems and emigration is still not a plan.
