kristoff wrote: Fri Oct 14, 2011 1:45 pm Sounds like time to start filing grievances with higher ups.

I was also thinking if you have to appear before a Judge to get the name change approved, you could tell the judge that you don't want to change it, but your therapist is trying to force you. That would enable them to deny your change and you'd be complying by having tried. Although it really sounds more like a form of malpractice really.

Good Luck!!

The whole thing of being forced to make a name change seems arbitrary and ridiculous. I've known quite a few people with non conforming names over the years. I've known women who went by Phil (Phillamena?) and Harry (Harriet?) Not to mention Sam, Terry, and Carl. Yes Carl. We all knew it was short for Carla, but she preferred to be called Carl.

It seems a woman can very easily get away with having a "male" name in our culture. It is the other way around that seldom seems to work, though I don't know why we have such a problem. I currently work with a fellow named Ahbayjurat, but he uses the more western, Abby. He is married, and very masculine. Yet he gets away with a "girl's" name.

It seems the only time we are confused by names, is when we read it. As soon as you meet the person, the name becomes the person. The idea that a name defines us, shows a fundamental misunderstanding about how the brain works. The brain doesn't assign a person's gender based solely on that person's name. The brain is much more complex than that. The brain incorporates the entire person's attributes, into a picture or idea we have of that person, the name is merely a label by which we use language to identify that person.

Your NHS psychologist seems a bit too stringent on a seemingly arbitrary condition of your gender reassignment. I agree with what has been said here. It is time to complain to someone higher up. Malpractice seems like a very valid word from where I am sitting.

It is certainly bizarre. In her blog hungrycat mentioned they want her to be fulltime for 2 years before they would refer for hormones? Because that seems absurd. 2 years for the op, but as far as i am aware hormones referral does not depend on RLE.

Also, talking about non-confiorming names, some regular folks have names that seem to be "wrong" for their gender. There's a ohio house rep in the US whose name is Courtney Combs. What a surprise I got when I found out Courtney Combs is a guy.

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punkypink (imported) wrote: Sat Oct 15, 2011 12:19 am There's a ohio house rep in the US whose name is Courtney Combs. What a surprise I got when I found out Courtney Combs is a guy.

And I'll bet that now you found out Courtney Combs is a guy, your mental picture of him is not that of a cute little chubby girl with pig-tails. Our picture of a person is a lot more than just their name. A name is just a first impression, and that only works if you've never seen or met the person.

When I first heard the name Stevie Nicks I thought it was a guy's name. Then I heard her sing, and saw pictures of her. Now in my mind Stevie Nicks is Stevie Nicks, not some guy. My mind has the picture of the person first, labels get assigned afterward, and the label itself has very little meaning.

I reckon the existance of Mr Combs (btw, he could be a cute chubby dude with pigtails) is evidence that the psych is wrong in not referring hungrycat for hormones simply on the grounds that she does not wish to initiate a name change at the moment. If anything the inability of the health service to understand that for some people changing name right now can be rather awkward in light of their current social circumstance is rigidly insensitive. Then again, with the cuts made to the NHS of late, who knows if they're not just contriving to reduce the "burden" on their budget in every petty manner possible.

To be fair about Mr Combs, before I found out he was a he, given that Combs is a republican, my image was of a withered wrinkly old crone of indeterminate gender. Still is.

punkypink (imported) wrote: Wed Sep 14, 2011 7:49 am As for hungrycat, I'd suggest in lieu of anything better, you might as well keep your current name. When I first transitioned I picked a name I thought I liked... but never got used to calling myself that (it was Fiona, if you must know).

It just didn't feel like a name that suited me. In the end, it was my current name that found me. Friends remarked that I looked, dressed, and thought like Emily the Strange, and started calling me Emily. Even without that connection, Emily just seemed so much like a name that was "me", and it stuck.

I dunno...

Emily and Pink are two very pretty descriptions of you and your thinking.

You and your thoughts have matured quite nicely as you've been making your transition. The depth and warmth of your soul can in no way be considered "punky". The understanding your posts exhibit and your advice demonstrate far too much sense and thought to call you "strange".

Maybe it is time for a well deserved makeover. Don't worry; you've always been and will be a "little asian bitch", which is a loveable part of your personality. I truly believe that you have transcended above "punky" or "strange". Pretty, understanding and sympathetic is what you have become and I feel your self esteem should be based on those attributes. We have outgrown the punky, strange attitude (and moniker) and it is important to start thinking of yourself as "pretty" instead!

Choosing a suitable name in transition is of utmost importance, but one should not be afraid to modify it if or when they feel it no longer represents their current state of metamorphosis.

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datyiasp (imported) wrote: Wed Oct 19, 2011 9:01 am I dunno...

Emily and Pink are two very pretty descriptions of you and your thinking.

You and your thoughts have matured quite nicely as you've been making your transition. The depth and warmth of your soul can in no way be considered "punky". The understanding your posts exhibit and your advice demonstrate far too much sense and thought to call you "strange".

Maybe it is time for a well deserved makeover. Don't worry; you've always been and will be a "little asian bitch", which is a loveable part of your personality. I truly believe that you have transcended above "punky" or "strange". Pretty, understanding and sympathetic is what you have become and I feel your self esteem should be based on those attributes. We have outgrown the punky, strange attitude (and moniker) and it is important to start thinking of yourself as "pretty" instead!

Choosing a suitable name in transition is of utmost importance, but one should not be afraid to modify it if or when they feel it no longer represents their current state of metamorphosis.

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oh i am very much still punky. ask any number of superficial cheap thrill seekers whom ive shot down in the EA chatroom. ^^