loveableleopardy (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 24, 2011 3:23 am I am also giving blood in early April and want to be strong for that - Spiro may have made doing that dangerous.

I w

as chemically castrated for over 2 1/2 years. I got an injection of Depo Provera every 28 days and took 100mg of Spiro daily. I also have given blood regularly- certainly not every 8 weeks like they have for minimum spacing but was over 5 gallons some time back. My blood type isn't horribly rare but isn't very common and occasionally they will call when they have an immediate need for it. I never had an issue when I was on Spiro and they never asked. It wasn't on their list of questionable drugs. Some time after I was castrated, I did have an issue with a low hematocrit which made sense since testosterone is useful for making red blood cells. So I started taking an iron supplement and that issue was resolved.

frankwilder (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 23, 2011 7:51 pm SO, for now, time to start the Prozac, see where that goes, learn more about Androcur, keep open the conversation with my better half. Fare forward.

Since Androcur is not sold in the US, you may want to investigate DP instead, which is and is used to reduce libido in males here.

Great suggestion about DP, which lead me to the fairly extensive postings by consideringthecut from 2007 to date. I'm sure there are other such threads here as well. The level of chemical/experimental and psychological detail provided by thoughtful guys posting here is invaluable. At times I feel like I'm in a virtual grad seminar.

You have correctly intuited that I am searching for a balance that allows some, if lower that I would choose, level of sexual activity with my wife, but with substantial reduction in my natural sex drive so my body doesn't drive me crazy.

So, I could use some advice.

So you asked for it, here it is.

First of talk to your wife. Second talk to your wife. This is the mistake that I feel many of us make. I talked to my wife about castration and she finally agreed, but had I talked to her about the initial problems I would have found out that we could have repaired our relationship quicker and easier. In fact we did. I am a eunuch now, but our sex life is incredible.

Like many of us our sex life took a nose dive after 4 children. My wife would want to for a while then it would dry up again. I was so frustrated I couldn't take it anymore. After I was castrated our marriage was really no better, although sex did go up for a while. My wife did not bring up the real issues (quite frankly she never really thought of it). It wasn't until we pretty much had a knock down drag out fight that the truth about what bothered her about me came out, and pretty much my frustrations against her as well. We made a conscious decision to change things and life has gotten so much better. No sex didn't instantly change, that took months. Women have to absorb love for a while before they can open back up. She didn't quite believe that the changes were going to be permanent for several months, but once it started sinking in sex improved. And it is still getting better.

Your wife may not want to talk about it, but please don't let that end the dialog. Ask her to go see a marriage counselor with you, it is imperative that you two talk this out. Tell her that you want to be with her forever, but that you feel your marriage could be even better than it is.

There is no guarantee that talking, or counseling will increase her sex drive, (honestly in and of itself it probably won't), but if there are unaddressed issues, they will almost always kill a womans sex drive. One book I can recommend would be Kiss me like you mean it (warning written by a Christian author). He makes a lot of good points in the book on how to make women feel good about themselves and their relationships (some points can be skimmed).

Sometimes women can have issues such as vaginal dryness, or pain with sex, that they feel embarrassed to tell their doctors. If she has any of these issues they need to be addressed as well, as they can be easily treated. Low libido can be treated as well, if, and only if, she misses being intimate.

Now, if you; 1 open up all the channels of communication, 2 address/eliminate any unresolved issues (believe it or not for women it can be as simple as picking up your clothes and putting them in the correct hamper, or as difficult as she feels fat and un-sexy), and 3 possibly speak to a counselor (one who deals with sexual dysfunction would be best), and she just flat out wants nothing to do with sex, then talk to her about chemical castration. In this situation it would be a reasonable choice.

Be honest with yourself. Castration is actually the easy way out. Working on a marriage that has issues is hard. Please do not sell yourself short and take the easy way out. Also are there other reasons that you would like to be castrated? This was also an issue for me. I actually loved the idea of being a eunuch, and my lack of sex life was just another reason that I used to justify getting it done. It would be better to try the above to repair the intimacy in your marriage before taking matters into your own hands.

Good luck.

Thanks people for the posts. I'm just not in a great mood to bother replying right now.

At the moment I am losing in the battle of the pursuit.

Thanks nullorchis for the suggestions about doing other things to reduce my sex drive a little. Unfortunately I am too lazy to bother to try (or just not motivated). I really would like to have NO sex drive actually. I think that with some sex drive I still want to masturbate, so in some ways it doesn't matter much whether I have 100% sex drive, or 70% or whatever.

Today is the first day of a THREE day weekend. Yippee!

Or at least it should be.

I just have no excitement about anything. I live in a wonderful free country, am not rich but have money to go and do stuff, yet there is just zilch inside of me. I read the other day of a quote that said that depression is a cause of not working or of not being occupied, and there is a lot of truth to that. Even though work can be tiring and stressful, we don't (usually) feel too depressed while we're doing it. And I was really looking forward to this long weekend and now I'm like, whatever.

I am off the spiro now, and was going okay in the happiness stakes for a number of days afterwards, but have since really gone downhill. Been masturbating heaps, and I'm not sure if this is because I am highly depressed (partly about the spiro having no effect on reducing my sex drive) or whether the masturbation is making me highly depressed. What comes first, the chicken or the egg?

Anyway, by Wednesday life was becoming a little too much for me. Could be a lot of little things. I'd had three very late nights in a row (doing mostly bad things) before work days - and I knew that I was barely making it to work each day, but I still kept doing it and sabotaging myself. I just can't stop myself a lot of the time.

Depression and tiredness may have made me more agitated at work. Or it may have just been a bad day. But on Wednesday I was very stressed, though I didn't show it. Since then I have put myself back onto anti-depressants (Lexam/Lexapro), and while I am still masturbating daily, before it was a little harder to ejaculate, and more importantly I have been much calmer inside since Thursday (also helped by a decent sleep Wednesday).

Tomorrow I think I will start again on 30 mg of Lexapro, but taking 2 tablets in the morning and 1 at night. It is something different. It can help me get

loveableleopardy (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 19, 2011 8:07 pm through to my next meeting with my doctor,

who HOPEFULLY will prescribe me some Androcur.

I have still been having some good times in life - such as last night playing Monopoly with friends - but the times when I have all the freedom in the world are mostly bad or boring, and this is ridiculous, since these should be many of my BEST times. Writing can help a little I guess and I will try and do some more of that now.

Hopefully my next post will be a little more positive!

Affection and love can be, and often are, separate from sex.

Nature's sex drive is intended to insure existence of the species and is distinctively separate from logical thought. People regularly have sex without having affection or love. But people frequently confuse sex with love.

It you crave to be castrated, consider this.

All my life I craved to be free from sex and I assumed castration would be the solution to my problem.

But I discovered that while taking Siterone, my interest and ability in sex not only went away but my obsession with wanting to be castrated went away.

When I stopped Siterone, interest and ability in sex returned, as did my craving for castration, perhaps even more than ever. It was an awakening for me. I did not NEED to be castrated, I only needed to eliminate testosterone.

Now, with my testes still attached but no longer producing testosterone, I have permanently lost my interest and ability in sex and again no longer crave castration. However I have a greater appreciation towards affection and love as these are no longer intertwined and overpowered by sexual feelings.

Nature's sex drive is incompatible with the logical and thinking mind.

Works great for life forms that do not have our brain power.

For me, reduction of nature's sex drive hormone is very empowering.

It was absolutely impossible for me to know how I would feel, what I would think prior to reduction of T. I discovered what my life could be like while taking Siterone, so I made a personal choice to accept risk and move on to the next level and make the reduction of T permanent, which I did.

From my experiences I do know that I would have made a big mistake just lunging forward and being surgically castrated.

I have no problem will still having balls and have no craving for them to be removed. Likewise if they needed to be removed for medical reasons, I would be fine with that too. They are insensitive to touch or pain so it is not like having real nuts; they almost seem artificial.

The path to this point was not easy. Had I not discovered the EA I may not have learned from others things that paved the way for me. I might have just caused myself great harm or worse. Everything I did was personal choice and risky. But the experiences of others helped me learn to take things slow and easy at first. Never assume however that things will turn out well; there is great risk of all kinds of negative results.

Certainly life would have been much easier if I was not so compelled to be rid of my sexuality. The journey has been difficult, but the route I took, and the destination were, for me, the right thing to do. I lucked out.

I went on DP many years back and even had the shots done by my doctor for about two years.When I felt I was ready I had my doctor refer me to a urologist who was very understanding and did my surgery that was done as an out patient in the hospital.There is NOT a day I regret my decision and would do it over again if I had to make that decision again.Now is it good for every one maybe not that is up to the individual but for my I am finally happy and rid of testosterone that was a mess for my life and others.

That's for sure, at our age, happiness is no T.

River

Hi guys,

I feel nice and relaxed just now.

And much more free than normal. Slowly, I seem to be releasing the life shackles that I've long imposed on myself.

Today I did something most unGreg like. I went to a brothel. It's hardly an abnormal thing for a guy to go to a brothel, but for years and years it would have been impossible to ever consider myself doing it, simply as I always felt it was far too unethical. You know, to treat a woman solely as a piece of meat.

What I am learning is that if you live your life too much by personal principles than it is highly unlikely that you will ever allow yourself to be happy.

It is only in the past week or so that the idea of going to a brothel came to me as a serious idea of something to do. I wanted to be with a woman again - if for nothing more than to just feel HUMAN again. It also occurred to me that to do this might help my behaviour as far as personal habits go. If I treat myself to a brothel every now and then, then I feel more human about myself (even though it is all fake, but aren't most things about our lives and human relationships?) AND I could cut back on masturbation (as I have something to hold out for). Though I don't have the money to go to a brothel regularly, time is more important than money I believe. So to save time by masturbating less is good in this way, as well as being better for my self-esteem.

I didn't have any personal qualms with finally deciding to go today. In fact I almost did it out of the blue, as I was looking more at next weekend to take the plunge. I have already been speed dating this year where I received no interest. In addition to that I have asked three women out who all rejected me. I don't have too many qualms either if I am one of those humans who happens to be not WORTHWHILE enough to be in a relationship with. But I believe that those people should be allowed to make their lives easier. For me this is firstly with the removal of my sex drive, but secondly if I can't get that then I still deserve to feel HUMAN on occasion.

Todays decision was one of the best that I've EVER made. For the first time since late last year I got to touch a woman. To kiss a woman. As well as all the other stuff! After it all we actually lay in each others arms, and while it was fake I didn't really care, at least not like I always would have in the past.

I didn't call the place. I simply rocked up and chose a woman from six options. I didn't feel that embarrassed.

On another subject, it must be really hard for the girls to so often be subjected with being chosen or NOT, as well as the difficulties of the job itself of course. I suppose they are subjected to a lot of basic truths about males, the likes of which many other women try to shield themselves from.

I am freeing myself up in other ways too. Just over a week ago my former partner got in touch with me, and I suddenly decided that I wanted to be with her again, and to try my best to make it work between us. I sent her a long and personal message, yet a week later there has been no reply. My best guess now is that it is not even her (it is her name on profile in facebook, no photo, no other friends), but someone playing games with me. And I am sick to death of games.

So just now I have asked to be 'friends' with a previous friend that I've long loved. I'm not sure if anything good will come of it. After all, I've hurt her before, and she lives by some very strict personal principles. But maybe one day she will be ready to release the shackles like I am doing.

You can't hide away from love, and consequently hurt. So what is the point of trying to do so?

Recently I have had my autobiography released. I haven't had the courage to reveal this to anyone IN my life yet, but I will post a link to it now on here. I would be delighted if anyone took the time (and small amount of money) to read it and give me their thoughts. What is the book about? It is mostly about the positive and negative effects that can eventuate when a boy goes through his entire youth without experiencing a proper relationship.

http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/i ... _uploads=0

loveableleopardy (imported) wrote: Sun Apr 17, 2011 11:06 pm You can't hide away from love, and consequently hurt. So what is the point of trying to do so?

Recently I have had my autobiography released. I haven't had the courage to reveal this to anyone IN my life yet, but I will post a link to it now on here. I would be delighted if anyone took the time (and small amount of money) to read it and give me their thoughts. What is the book about? It is mostly about the positive and negative effects that can eventuate when a boy goes through his entire youth without experiencing a proper relationship.

http://chipmunkapublishing.co.uk/shop/i ... _uploads=0

Just that description rather affected me. :O

I spent the entirety of my teens fighting against that kind of thing. I suppose the fact that I ultimately lost is a big part of what got me to join the EA.

Consequently, though, I've gotten to where I simply can't get close to people at all, and the idea of thinking of anyone I know in real life in a romantic way is just too creepy to think on for more than a moment.

But the fact that I'm toward the end of college and have hardly had any friends--and certainly no real companionship to speak of--is catching up with me.

And, well, conflicting with my sense of identity quite a lot.

Now if only I could bring myself to say these things to a psychiatrist.