Take the definition of "marriage" into the Cellar where it belongs, please. Thank you.

Paolo wrote: Thu Feb 11, 2010 7:18 pm Take the definition of "marriage" into the Cellar where it belongs, please. Thank you.

I was only responding to graylayer02's post where he defined marriage. I removed the definition per your request. It is ok with me if you move both posts into the cellar if that is your policy. I didn't know that it was a violation of the rules to respond in kind to that post. Spanked again!!

bfleish (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 11, 2010 6:26 pm Graylayer02,

Have you noticed yet that you walk with your legs a little closer together now? That was something I noticed after my orchi and it took a little getting used to.

Twelve years without T I walk with my legs further apart. Need to make room for the chubby thighs.

I find I walk and sit differently than I did when I had more bulk between my legs. My guess is that I no longer make allowance for the extra anatomy. --FLO--

bfleish (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 11, 2010 6:26 pm Graylayer02,

Have you noticed yet that you walk with your legs a little closer together now? That was something I noticed after my orchi and it took a little getting used to.

I have a pair of shoes that were purchased after the orchi and the wear on the outer heel is definately less than shoes I had before the deed was done.

When I walk my feet used to roll from the corner rear to the front. Now with an empty sack my shoes hit more directly and make a "sure footed" noise. Or is it an "empty sack noise?"

Well my sack is very large and not quite empty yet (it's that fluid that tugon describes) so I don't walk too differently...but it still feels better because the balls aren't there to bounce off of my legs or get squished. That kind of hurt. I'm sure things will change with that and the healing, walking less like an old person in general, but my sack will always get tugged at, I think.

Actually, a question for all of you. How much shrinkage did you get in the sack, % wise? Mine would have to shrink by about 90-95% for it to be where I want it to be.

Saturday February 13 (T+12 days)

The sutures are beginning to dissolve; the right side actually is starting to look much more reasonable though the whole process should still continue over the next week. The left side is about 2 days behind, and the fluid nut is still pretty large. I'm also getting these occasional moments when I move or sit a certain way, where the internal cord remnants on that side seem to get pinched or stuck. In that case it feels like I still have a painful left nut that experiences a sharp jolt as if it were kicked. But 99% of the time things are fairly good, and my overall sense of well-being is where it was before the surgery. As things continue to heal I expect things to be much better than they were before the surgery. I'm increasingly convinced that there was something with my balls and cords that caused them to send out low-level pain or stress signals throughout the history of their existence. It actually feels physically better without them.

July 1991

I get into the shower, look down, and discover my first pubic hair. UGH. I had known that puberty was inevitable but now I knew that it was happening. I'd seen it coming when some of the slightly older boys had developed armpit hair but it was still not fun. It was like opening the fridge and finding some month-old leftovers which had grown hair on them. I couldn't help but to look and be curious, but at the same time it was kind of gross.

Within a couple of years I had doubled in size in just about every way. OK, EVERY way. I was completely of two minds about this. On one hand, I didn't want to go through puberty, develop these big unwieldy bits, have to shave, and all of that. I liked myself just the way I was.

On the other hand, the rest of me doubled in size too, and this was good. I got beaten up a whole lot less; my voice became somewhat more serious-sounding and masculine; and the energy and drive that we associate with testosterone kicked in. And thus I became dependent on the stuff. But I was definitely of two minds about this.

I hear anecdotal stories of guys who were able to stop puberty in its tracks, and I feel a mixture of intense jealousy and intense admiration. In 1991 we didn't have the Internet yet and I could never found my way to another country to have work done. I've never talked with anyone who's actually done this personally, since these guys are understandably pretty private. I would have definitely wanted to go through with androgen blockers and castration at a young age were that option available to me, though I would have had to do an end-run around my parents. That said, there is the masculine side to me which I've now come to accept and take ownership of...and this can be pretty fun too some of the time. I've come to accept being a man, though I can still be a man the way I want to be.

Since I went fully through puberty I'm basically dependent on testosterone or something testosterone-like for the rest of my life. Six months without testosterone drained me of energy, and when winter hit I just couldn't function, so I had to go on T. Definitely if there were standards to treat young boys who wanted to be eunuchs, I would have wanted to do this. The problem would have been to get my parents on board. They were STILL operating under the idea that I'd give them grandkids somehow when I told them about my recent adventure (the accident version of my story, not the real version).

I'd be lying if I said that I fully like the results of having gone through puberty, but that's something I'll have to accept and make the best of.

gratuliere zum neuen zustand und befinden!!!:)

Danke.

Nothing much to report at T+16 days; these dissolvable sutures dissolve SLOWLY but I've gone to not wearing a bandage on the right incision and wearing half of one on the left. Just can't wait for the stupid things to go away; t

graylayer02 (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 14, 2010 10:20 am he left side is about 2 days behind

the right side in terms of healing.

I'll take up the gay marriage thing on another thread at another time, I promise. This time it will be the 31 year old me, not the 7 year old me, speaking.

Thanks for sharing your very fascinating experience and feelings. I can sure find much that resonate with my own inner feelings. Hope you heal quickly.