Sorry. I dont have any pictures in that i feel capture who i really am. i could use some help with that. HINT~

Dear homptydumpty,

Do you have a link to your pictures?

LOL, I suppose I could take a 45 minute trip to Seattle and take some for ya

Hi Z,

I just watched you on TV the other night here in the UK, and found you fascinating to listen to. You have a very mature and sensitive view of life. The way the programme ended left me saddened and worried, reflected in your dad’s comments, so I have to say it’s fantastic to see that you are getting on so well now. What’s the level of support and understanding like where you live? I am curious as to how the USA compares with Britain with awareness of gender issues. In my opinion it’s pretty good here in the UK, there is a large gay area in my town, and it’s accepted by the majority of people.

There seems to be a need in society for everything to be categorised in one way or another, race, gender, sexuality are the basic ones. Like you say, gender is a spectrum, not simply male or female, where we all have varying degrees of masculinity or femininity. Just over a year ago I would have classed myself as 100% straight male, but now I don’t think the term even means anything.

Your phrase “chick with a dick”, although blunt is spot on correct, and a very beautiful chick too. Mind you, I’m really trying to stop thinking in those terms. I don’t want to be putting on a label when I look at you, or at anyone. People are people, some more attractive than others. It’s surprising that people get so hung up on the shape of other people’s genitals, especially if they are unlikely to ever see them. Do you think society brainwashes us from the start to make these distinctions or is it instinctive? Maybe we are taught in childhood that male-female partnerships are correct, and everything else is therefore wrong. Attraction has many elements, genital shape is not that big a deal all things considered but why has it taken over 30 years for that to dawn on me?

It’s a brave decision to do what you did, gotta have balls to do that (sorry, I had to say it). Hearing you talk about the op had me squirming a bit, there’s no way I’d want to see that. OMG ouch. So, do you still have some sex-drive with the use of hormones? I’m naïve on these matters, but to me an asexual life could be a lonely one.

Until I saw the programme, I knew nothing about castration etc. so I might be asking nonsense questions. But is there no way the testicles can be relocated inside the body, particularly if smaller after hormone therapy?

I have so many questions and things to discuss, I could go on all day, and you’d be so interesting to talk to. But with each question comes a better understanding, although I think that’s enough rambling for one day.

Be happy

Silly

Sillycone (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:07 am What’s the level of support and understanding like where you live?

Seattle has a HUG support network, for people of all likes. I have found support groups that meet weekly to share and reflect on gender issues. Every day people here in seattle are for the most part self involved in such a way that they could care less about worrying of others differences. i guess what i mean is that this City is huge & diverse.

Sillycone (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:07 am It’s surprising that people get so hung up on the shape of other people’s genitals, especially if they are unlikely to ever see them. Do you think society brainwashes us from the start to make these distinctions or is it instinctive?

I think that there is both. For instance, think of sex education in school. When we as kids here in the sates where put threw this program, we are separated by are assumed gender. Boys in one class & girls in the other. From this point o we are conditioned that males are one thing females are another and there is no middle ground. However, in nature genitalia is exposed in day to day life. For animals, there must be some level of vulnerability to live up to you gender. Males are primarily hunter gatherer and the female is expected to berth off spring to continue on the cycle of life. The sex of an animal sets its life roll.

Sillycone (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:07 am Attraction has many elements, genital shape is not that big a deal all things considered but why has it taken over 30 years for that to dawn on me?

Some of us are just now taking the time to break down the assumed answer. Nothing in todays society has an affirmative answer. We as individuals are left to make are own conclusions. some choose to go along with the norm, while others constantly re evaluate to make valued life choices. Bottom line make your self happy, without dreading others misinterpretations.

Sillycone (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:07 am Hearing you talk about the op had me squirming a bit, there’s no way I’d want to see that. OMG ouch. So, do you still have some sex-drive with the use of hormones? I’m naïve on these matters, but to me an asexual life could be a lonely one.

Oh my gosh..... I do have a "sex-drive". The use of hormones can induce it as well as reduce it. For me i still feel love and attraction, allot. I am not asexual. However meeting someone who is willing to be with me as i am is hard. I try to be as up front as possible when dating so as not to miss lead the other party. i am what i am. i accept this life, i know others can as well. Some day when the time is right, a relationship will happen for me.

Sillycone (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 29, 2008 5:07 am I might be asking nonsense questions. But is there no way the testicles can be relocated inside the body, particularly if smaller after hormone therapy?

I have

no idea how to answer that. Sorry!

I may be an old queen, but you look very sexy to me.

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 29, 2008 1:27 pm Oh my gosh..... I do have a "sex-drive". The use of hormones can induce it as well as reduce it. For me i still feel love and attraction, allot. I am not asexual. However meeting someone who is willing to be with me as i am is hard. I try to be as up front as possible when dating so as not to miss lead the other party. i am what i am. i accept this life, i know others can as well. Some day when the time is right, a relationship will happen for me.

gpb3aol (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 29, 2008 8:10 pm I may be an old queen, but you look very sexy to me.

Who me? ….Oh you mean Z

Oops..sorry about doubting your sex-drive, and that's good to hear too. It's that difficult to find a partner? Hell, you are so sexy, their loss then. Not fancy a holiday in the UK? Hehe. A lot of the problem in finding the right person is opportunity, there often just isn’t that much chance to mix and socialise. I suppose in your case it’s extra tricky so as not to mislead, as you say.

I try to get people to look at things differently, so I sometimes ask what they would do if they found out after a month say, a girlfriend had a penis (or vice versa). The usual answer is that they do not know. The change in my thinking came about after spending so much time in a virtual world (called RLC, similar to Second Life).

This is your thread and not really the place, but I hope you don’t mind if I briefly say how I got to this point. My wife (Ethiopian) was sexually abused as a child and she wanted the marriage to end, she hates sex and male sexuality. So I went on the virtual world to talk to others. What I found was a frightening number of women who had been raped or abused, truly shocking. I then started switching gender, and then remained female, although I never stated that, people just assumed it. It was an experiment to study others and myself, and it changed me in ways I never would have imagined. There’s more info on my profile, but that’s enough for here.

Going back to the previous paragraph, on RLC I have seen real examples when someone has discovered that their partner is not what they thought which often is very sad when the relationships is finished because of it. It’s often made so much worse because they weren’t up front and one person feels they’ve been lied to. It’s particularly odd when it’s in a virtual world that someone will end a relationship based on the real gender of the other person. But a virtual world can be a useful tool to educate people and open their minds because gender and sexuality is blurred and hidden.

Back to your comments….I never had any sex education at school, and I don’t know if kids are separated out here in the UK or if it’s mixed classes. Even kids stories with the traditional image of mothers and fathers causes influences, setting up future roles to play out in life. Without cultural influences I wonder how many people could be bisexual, it was seen as normal in Ancient Greece for example. It’s useful to make analogies with animals, to get a better understanding of our instincts. Have you ever seen the group of chimpanzees (west Africa I think) that use sex for socialising? They are very similar to us in many respects, and they simply use sex as a means of showing affection.

Hmmm, there are some questions I’m dying to ask but are too personal, I don’t feel it’s proper to ask such things. I like to understand how everything works and to ask “what if…” questions. Maybe I’m just nosey. I do like to talk about these things, and in my everyday life there are very few who either want to or I can talk about gender with. Your attitude is very down to earth and calm and sensible it seems, wish there were more like that.

How do you feel about life now? Are you happier with yourself today than any time previously and are you glad you had the op? What do you wish for? Do you want to have a settled and content life, or do you want to speak out more and educate people? I hope I don’t ask anything improper, please tell me if I do.

Did you get the cavity sorted? Brush twice a day! I hate dentists.

Oh, and thanks for taking the time to talk, much appreciated.

Damn….my cup of tea is cold now….

Sillycone (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 01, 2008 8:30 am It's that difficult to find a partner? Hell, you are so sexy, their loss then. Not fancy a holiday in the UK?

How do you feel about life now? Are you happier with yourself today than any time previously and are you glad you had the op? What do you wish for? Do you want to have a settled and content life, or do you want to speak out more and educate people? I hope I don’t ask anything improper, please tell me if I do.

Did you get the cavity sorted? Brush twice a day!

Thanks~ i feel sexy! even as a eunuch....

I know your teasing, but i would love a holiday in the UK. So much so i wrote a poem about it. Maybe for another time.

To answer all your questions makes me happy, never can a person ask too many questions. If anything improper where brought up i am sure a moderator would bring it to your attention.

I am so much happier now with who and what i am. When i picture me before there is an overwhelming sense of sadness. 'Today i lead a much healthier and productive life. Where i once was upset and dissatisfied i am now content. How ever i wish for great opportunities and do feel a need to educate people by sharing my story.

HomptyDumpty - well if you ever get bored, I'm just a couple of miles away I suspect give a shout

Me tease? Never Serious, life's too short not to do things. But I think you might be teasing now. I wouldn't mind seeing the poem, pm me it if you want. I emigrate to Ethiopia in two months so won't be in the UK much longer anyway (so hurry up )

OK, more questions...After you had the op surely your sex-drive must have dropped drastically, did it? I'm a bit confused after what you said, about the purpose of starting the HRT. In situations like this, why do you wish to remove the testicles but not the penis? What is it particularly about them that felt so wrong? And also, are you content to stay the way you are now and have no further major surgery? (I know you said you want a few things still).

What would be the law in the US if you wanted to get married? If the gender is indeterminate what do they do? Even language makes it difficult to not refer to gender because we only have he, she and it, although in your case it's easier just to use Z.

How do people behave towards you in everyday life, is it positive, negative or neutral? Mainly, I mean with strangers like when shopping or going out at night. Or do people not react in anyway?

There's a long way to go when it comes to educating people, do you try to do that elsewhere too? No book planned, you could make money and educate people? As I've already mentioned, I use an online virtual world to try and get people to see a wider picture. Once people are aware of these issues, most will accept it but the problem is so many just don't understand. I would love to see total equality, that is equality for any sexual orientation, and no distinctions made for gender which would also stop discrimination against women. Can't say I'm that optomistic but you never know. Is any of this ever touched on in school, or is it a topic that's avoided?

It's so good to hear how you feel so much happier now, and left that sadness behind. What kind of great opportunities do you wish for? Lots of cakes? hehe

So Z, can I be nosey and ask what your ideal date would be? None of my business I know, just want to understand you better. Not that I have the faintest idea what mine would be, I've lost the plot somewhat lately.

Ooh, so many questions. I'd better stop, I'm wearing out the "?" key (but backspace comes a close second).

Sillycone (imported) wrote: Sat Mar 08, 2008 5:27 am What would be the law in the US if you wanted to get married? If the gender is indeterminate what do they do? Even language makes it difficult to not refer to gender because we only have he, she and it, although in your case it's easier just to use Z.

Like most law in the US, it varies by state and region. Some states, though I don't think many, have laws or constituional amendements that define male and female by genetic makeup. Something they are trying to get on the ballot here in California would not only amend the state constitution to ban same-sex marriage and our existing domestic partnership system, but it would also define man and woman. A man would be an individual with at least one inherited Y chromosome. A woman would be an individual without at least one inherited Y chromosome. No other factors could be considered.

So if you had a young, attractive woman who could never be seen by anyone as anything other than a woman, has never thought of herself as anything but a woman, and has never been thought of by those who know her as anything but a woman, but who has complete AIS and therefore an XY makeup, would be told when she wants to get married, "Too bad, you are a man. Marriage denied."

The same would go for a man with XX male syndrome. "Too bad, you are a woman. Marriage denied."

Imagine being that young woman or man and learning after 25 years of your life as who you always thought you were and felt yourself to be that you cannot get married and that you are legally the opposite sex, even with those delicate features and DD bust or that strong jawline and 9 inch cock. I am sure it couldn't be pleasant to have something like that happen to you.