Today was an interesting one for starters I actually slept-in I have'nt done that since I was a kid. Later Bub took me on a tour of Charlotte. and this evening this was the topper Bubie was talking with a client and the client asked if he was married... he said "Yes to Phil." I was floored that the client didn't bat an eye and said ok. Where I grew up any mention of being gay was met with violence. This is totally new teritory for me.

hmmmm,

This last week has been an emotional rollercoaster. I have not cried so much in my life. The funny thing is its been over nothing I mean really nothing. the ebb and flow of the mood swings has been more drastic than anyone dould have prepaired me for. I am however on the whole happy I love seeing the sun (in Washington we see the sun through the clouds) and I am with Bubie all of this makes me happy.

today I have a job interview and I am very nervous. I have no idea how I will handle things since my last interview was pre-op. I don't know if I will have the same "go getter" type attitude as before. this terrifies me but I have to do it. In life there are lots of things that are scary its how we deal with them that defines us. I hope I can deal with this without having a panic attack. I seem to have those more often now. well the interview is at 10:30 and its 9:20 I'd better get going.

wish me luck

Hi Philip!

Break a leg!

Greetings

John

The best of luck with you'r interview, i know they can be hell, but be you'r self and give it you'r best shot.

Well the interview went OK but I still don't have a job. I interviewed at a placement company so I now have to wait.............

hmmmm,

Clip..

philip1 (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 28, 2005 2:02 pm I am however on the whole happy I love seeing the sun (in Washington we see the sun through the clouds) and I am with Bubie all of this makes me happy.

Monday it Rained, and the Freeway into Washington form Portland was a parking lot. Be careful don't get sun burned

_g

I guess emotionally I am doing better. I say this because when I am depressed I don't eat and tonight I ate tons. This interview has helped my emotional state more than even being in the sun has. Soon I hope I will be able to announce my employment. Heres hoping.......

TO ANY,

who have read this thread and think "Oh he had it easy" . this journey has been anything but easy it has been hell the mood swings suck the depression nearly killed me on OH LETS SEE 100+ occasions and taking all these pills to prevent osteoporosis is a real drag. If you think it will be all puppies and bunnies your dilusionall it is the hardest thing any person male or female can go through. don't even think its just a quick snip and thats it. and to the MORONS who think "OH I can do this at home with whatever" YOU ARE AN IDIOT. and if after reading all the HELL I went through you still want to do it yourself, Here's a hollow point bullet its quicker. If I offended anyone well GOOD you deserved it because you are one of the IDIOTIC MORONS.

What exactly are the regrets? It seems there are three types of wannabes:a, those seeking non-sexuality, b, those seeking to express a transsexual nature, and c, those motivated by a fetish. Since castration seems to be the end of extreme fetish, this may be the cause of most regrets (?) That is, that some people enjoy the castration fetish, which would be extinguished by the reality of it. The regrets would seem to be based on the initial motivation. Whatever