Cheetaking243 after looking at you body photos, try eating smaller servings at lunch & dinner. As I have lost weight my breasts have gotten larger (unburied from fat) after a time the love handles I see will go away also. Just do not starve you self as then will get you fatter.

_g

_g (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2013 12:18 pm Cheetaking243 after looking at you body photos, try eating smaller servings at lunch & dinner. As I have lost weight my breasts have gotten larger (unburied from fat) after a time the love handles I see will go away also. Just do not starve you self as then will get you fatter.

_g

I told her already to eat smaller intermittent servings of low GI meals.(eat whe your hungry, space them out and if you can't finish save it for laters)

Shes got cuisine experience, she should know P

One of my former ex classmates starved herself and what it does really is place the body in hunger mode. So when you eat the body triggurs more insulin release. Bad simple carbs from High GI pastas , maccaroni and those evil white and fake brown breads release too much sugar in bloodstream. Again insulin release.

One thing that really important is by having too much insulin release

body can develop a insulin resistance ------diabetes

Right now, my daily eating routine looks something like this:

Breakfast:

-3 eggs

-Either bacon or sausage

-A bowl of strawberries or a couple of clementine oranges

-Intermittent snacks throughout the day, usually comprising of either smoked meat products (jerky or beef sticks), or some kind of cheese (either goat-cheese or raw-milk cheddar,) or the same kinds of fruit as from breakfast.

Lunch:

-Soup, usually either homemade chicken soup or minestrone, often broccoli cheddar, occasionally something like lobster bisque or beef chili depending on what the soup place at work has on the menu, and what I'm in the mood for.

Dinner:

-Some kind of big meat portion. Usually this is either a big steak, a portion of homemade pulled pork, pot roast, or two chicken thighs, and occasionally bratwursts if I need something to perk my mood up without causing too much damage.

-Leafy green vegetable, either kale or spinach.

-One "junk meal" per week where I can eat whatever I want. Usually this ends up being a trip to the local sushi buffet.

So far so good. I started this diet at 270 lbs, and am now down to 248 lbs as of this morning, in the course of about a month and a half. I still have a VERY long way to go, but so far so good. And this diet doesn't feel like much of a sacrifice at all. I just traded my normal terrible junk foods like pizza and chips and candy for ones that won't spike my blood sugar so much.

clip...

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 20, 2013 3:17 pm I started this diet at 270 lbs, and am now down to 248 lbs as of this morning, in the course of about a month and a half.

Very Good, It has taken me about 1 1/2 years to go from a 44 inch wast to a 38 inch. I still have a ways to go, I still have a large gut.

_g

Speaking of which, I haven't updated my own measurements in about a week now. So here goes:

Updated Measurements:

Hips: 45" [-0.5 in. Unchanged since last week.]

Waist: 37" [-3.0 in. Down another full inch from my last update!]

Underbust: 38.5" [-3.5 in. Another half-inch down since last time.]

Bust: 44" [-1.0 in. Also down a half-inch since last time.]

Overbust: 40.5" [-2.5 in. Unchanged since last week.]

New Measurements that I am also going to start keeping track of: (These are the starting numbers. Let's see if they change at all now that I've started Foxytaur's "bombshell body workout." We'll find out next week.):

Upper Arm Circumference: 16"

Lower Arm Circumference: 12.25"

Neck: 16"

Upper Thigh Circumference: 26.25"

Calf Circumference: 17"

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:58 pm OFFICIAL HORMONE REPLACEMENT LOG...

MONTH TWO, DAY THIRTEEN:

Let's talk about sex. [beware, lots of explicit material is ahead. ]

That is what this entry is about, as well as a quite important personal decision that I'm now finally ready to come to after much thought.

Anyway, here is the sexual update. Something seriously amazing has been going on over the last few days. My sex-drive has returned. In a big way. But it has absolutely NOTHING to do with what I have always known as being a sex drive. It is something completely different, something completely AMAZING,

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 26, 2013 8:25 am and something that I've been wi

shing that I could experience for pretty much my entire life.

This story begins with me buying something that used to be my absolute favorite sexual toy when I was a teenager... a Waterpik shower head with pulsating massage. And you better believe that on the very first opportunity that I got to use it, after not having one for like 10 years, I pounced on it. That just happened to be this afternoon.

Remember during my last official daily update about a week ago, when I reported that it was possible that my orgasms were getting stronger? Well, now it's not just a hunch anymore. Because it's happened again. And while one amazing orgasm that seemingly comes out of nowhere could possibly just be an isolated event, a statistical anomaly, two of these insanely-pleasurable orgasms within a week of each-other is impossible to explain away. Because today I had yet another unnaturally-intense orgasm, one even BETTER than the last one, and easily the best that I've ever had in my entire life. (God, I can STILL feel the lingering pleasure from it, even though it happened over 6 hours ago.) So yeah, it really is happening, my orgasms actually are starting to get a LOT more intense. Every single one that I have now ranks at the top of the list of the best that I've ever had in my entire life. My normal male orgasms feel like NOTHING compared to these.

Basically, I'd describe this new sexual feeling as being like a very powerful wave of pleasure that just washes over you as soon as you start really getting into the mood and touching things. With normal male arousal, you really don't start feeling any significant degree of pleasure until you reach the "plateau" phase, where you're just one little blip away from making it to the very top. But this is not like that at all. You start feeling pleasure that is so enjoyable that it makes you start "ahh"ing almost as soon as you start stimulating. It takes a while to find it, but when you finally do start to get the motion just right, or in this case get the showerhead's three massaging water-pulses aimed in just the right spot, there is just this amazing extended plateau where you get a ton of pleasure as it goes, and it just lasts and lasts, up to several minutes. And then when the peak finally comes... oh, God, what a peak! The last 5-10 seconds before orgasm are so intense that it has been sending me into an uncontrolled twitching motion recently, just overcome with amazing feelings.

And now, the absolutely amazing part! Something that I have NEVER experienced in my entire life almost happened today... I was THIS close to having multiple orgasms! Usually orgasm is a one-and-done thing. Once you've reached it, everything goes soft almost instantly, and you can't get it back up again for another half-hour or so. And if you try, it still feels kind of good, but you just know that it's not the same feeling as before, and you know you can't make it to orgasm again no matter how hard you try. The capability is just no longer there. Well, to my surprise today, once I had finished with orgasm #1, and a brief period where the erection softened slightly, it suddenly started going right back to full. And when I put the massaging head back onto it, it still felt just like it did as if I had never had an orgasm in the first place. I resumed stimulation, and I was THIS CLOSE to having a second orgasm. THIS CLOSE!!! If I wasn't on a time restriction, due to having to get dressed because I needed to be able to let the water department into our house to upgrade our meter, I could have made it. I know I could have. Because within 5 minutes of the first orgasm, while the pleasure from the first one was still just trailing off, I was able to get right back up to full erection, and stimulation felt EXACTLY the same as the pre-orgasm stimulation had been. Again, I could have made it if I had the time. But right as I was about to get there, the doorbell rang, and I had to stop. So I never got the chance. But this is just an amazing thing. Some day soon, I really am going to do it... [quot

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:39 pm e="cheetaking243 (imported)" time=135868656

0]
I really am going to be able to
[/quote]
have multiple orgasms. I can feel it. It was right there, just a few minutes away. There was just none of that normal "refractory" feeling whatsoever.

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:54 pm So now I really do believe that it's no

t only possible, it's an inevitability that I really am going to do it some day... and sooner than I ever thought. I really do feel like I'm capab

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:48 pm le of doing it now.

Something am

azing is happening here. F

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:21 pm or the first time in my entire life, I

am actually enjoying having a sex drive. After the amazing orgasm that I had, I just felt SO GOOD all day! I curled up on my bed, and just enjoyed the soft feeling of everything around me, feeling so amazing, like the whole world was just the best thing ever. The pleasure from that orgasm once again left me giggling like a school girl, feeling absolutely amazing, and the pleasure took a VERY long time to taper off. (Again, I can STILL feel it lingering, and it's over 6 hours later now.) And I just can't wait for the opportunity to do it again! I mean, God, I haven't had this kind of a sex drive since I was a teenager! But at the same time, it's not the same kind of sex drive as when I was a teenager. As a teenager, my sex drive was COMPLETELY based around endless lustful thoughts... of me imagining what it was like to be a girl, and imagining bizarre things like amputation. My sex drive was always based on being inundated with thoughts that caused spontaneous erections, and made me feel like I just HAD to release it. And as such, it controlled my entire life. I wasted sleepless night after sleepless night staying up until like 2 a.m. writing transgender and amputee fantasy stories, because I just had to get that thrill. And as an adult, although that burning desire was gone, it was still that "need to release" that drove me to do sexual acts. I wasn't doing it because I really wanted to, I was forced to do it because I'd feel like crap if I didn't, and reaching orgasm was the only way to release that sexual tension. But this is COMPLETELY different. There is NO sexual tensio

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:54 pm n at all! NONE!!! My drive that makes

me want to have sex no longer has ANYTHING to do with feeling a need for it. It is now completely based on want. I have a drive to do sexual acts not because my body insists that I do it, it's COMPLETELY just

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:48 pm because it feels so absolutely a

mazing that I just have to feel that amazing sense of pleasure again! It's AWESOME!!! For the first time in my entire life, sexual acts are actually a joy to experience! They don't control me, they don't mess with my mood, they're just a really amazing pleasurable thing that I do for myself, when I want to, and it feels AMAZING every single time.

God... THIS is what I have always felt like my sex life SHOULD be like. Having a male sex drive always just fel

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 30, 2013 9:10 pm t so wr

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:54 pm ong to me. I hated the const

ant fantasies that controlled me, and I hated that tense "need to rele

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 28, 2013 12:29 am ase" feel. Well, now, for the first ti

me ever, BOTH of those things are completely gone. And as such, sex is no longer an annoyance, something that makes me a slave to it, it is now like my personal plaything, something just for me to make me feel amazing. THIS i

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Tue Jan 22, 2013 8:48 pm s what it should have been like f

rom the start. THIS is what I have always felt it should have been like. And as such

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Wed Jan 09, 2013 10:21 pm , for the first time in my entire life, I

am actually enjoying having a sex drive, and actually feel like my sex drive is a healthy part of me instead of something inconvenient. I LOVE IT!!! I am FINALLY a healthy sexual being, and one who feels like it is right, after a lifetime of feeling like it was wrong.

The only disadvantage that's going on here, is that my penis has now become too sensitive to stimulate manually. Every time that I have tried it, with or without lubrication, I have ended up tearing the skin, and it hurt like hell. So now I'm pretty much a slave to the Waterpik when it comes to safe ways to stimulate myself. I can't do it by myself anymore. Reaching orgasm takes a LONG time now, because the length of the plateau has greatly increased. And because of this, the skin under my glans is usually shredded by the time I start getting close to orgasm using manual stimulation. So whatever... I'm okay using my shower head. It's AWESOME!!!

And now, finally, here is my decision. I know I've said before that I decided that my HRT "trial" no longer had a definite end, that transition was now my goal and I'd see where I stood in a few months in regards to whether I really was going to go through with it or not. Well, now, I have reached a permanent decision in regards to that. And this new sex drive, and these amazing orgasms, were the straw that finally broke the camel's back. I am NEVER going back off of HRT. EVER. It has COMPLETELY changed every single aspect of my life for the better. This really is starting t

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:54 pm o become exactly like what I alw

ays wished my life could be like ever since puberty started. Everything that I felt wa

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:54 pm [quote="cheetaking243 (imported)" time=

1360142280]
[quote="cheetaking243 (imported)" time=
[/quote]
1359892980]
s wrong about my life as a male has now
[/quote]
suddenly been made ri

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:39 pm ght. I really am going to have basicall

y no body hair again, and a smooth round face, and beautiful soft skin, and a mind that can actually experience the true pleasure and the true sadness that my male brain just never was able to, and for the first time ever I have a sex drive that is actually pleasurable and feels "right" instead of feeling like a foreign invader. This is me. I was born to be like this. I am a creature of estrogen, and it should have been like this from the very start. There is NOTHING about my old life on testosterone that I ever want back. I really have found myself. This really is the first time in my entire adult life that I have truly felt happy. And it's absolutely wonderful. Needless to say, yeah... I'm a girl. There's no doubting it anymore. My brain was built for this from the start.

So yeah... that's pretty much the last decision that I needed to make in regards to taking hormones. By this time next year, I'll pretty much have a completely female body, and I don't plan to stop even then. Complete feminization is now in my future for certain. All that's left is to figure out is the logistics behind trans

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:54 pm ition itself, when I get to the point that I'm f

inally comfortab

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 06, 2013 8:18 pm le enough to start part-timing as Carrie

in real life, when I

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 03, 2013 11:03 pm finally decide to go full-time, and figuring

out the specifics behind all of the surgeries that will inevitably be needed

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:39 pm . That's all that's left. The rest, inclu

ding all of the uncertainty, the years of not being sure, that is all long gone now. I'm now 100% certain. No doubts left, aside from whether I really can pull it off or not. I still have a long way to go, and it's hard not to get VERY nervous and self-conscious. But I don't care. My body is going to be completely female now, and that is my permanent future, one way or another. I just hope it happens sooner than later.

Love you all! And a HUGE thanks to everyone who encouraged me to try this HRT regiment in the first place. I owe you EVERYTHING!!! I really do. For the first time in my entire adult life, I am actually happy. And I owe it all to you!

-Carrie

Just wanted to add that this morning, I finally got an appointment set up with a local laser spa, and my official consultation for laser hair removal will be next Tuesday.

Also, I finally got an appointment set up with a local informed-consent clinic to officially switch over from DIY to medical supervision. That appointment will be on March 8th, so I should be switching over to an "official" HRT regiment within the next month, as soon as the lab work comes back after the appointment.

Also, I officially will be switching from part-time employment at work to full-time employment as of March 1st, so once that happens I will FINALLY have enough money to see a gender therapist to start getting the letters that I will need to finally go all the way.

Things are slowly falling into place.

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:58 pm OFFICIAL HORMONE REPLACEMENT LOG...

MONTH TWO, DAY FIFTEEN:

Well, looks like I've officially made it to the one-and-a-half month mark in my hormonal journey. And today was AWESOME!

First of all, after like 2 weeks straight of getting really down on myself, and being all mopey and like "I'm making NO progress! Waaaah! I'm never going to pass! I'm going to need FFS! My life sucks! Waah! Mope, mope, whine, etc." Today I FINALLY got around to doing my official 6-week update pictures. And I must say, I was COMPLETELY blown away. It's really easy to get down on yourself, and feel like nothing's changing, when you're just going by what your eyes see in the mirror every morning. Because your mental image of yourself is constantly adjusting, it's nigh-impossible to be able to notice every single little change. But when I took a picture, and compared it to the ones from previous weeks... good God, what a difference! (HERE (http://oi46.tinypic.com/t9jcr8.jpg) is the picture from this morning. Just loo

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 14, 2013 11:59 pm k at it! Good God, I look like a freaking teenager again! And co

mpared to THIS (http://oi45.tinypic.com/154f0g7.jpg) picture of myself, which I took on my very first week of hormones, I barely even look like the same person! God, I don't even recognize that big dumb muscular mass of grossness.)

So, yeah, that was awesome. And it REALLY helped me to get my confidence back. And then later in the day, I finally took the ponytail out of my wig, and for the first time it actually looked decent without being pulled back. And not only that, but I've noticed that when I wear my hair just flowing freely like that rather than in a ponytail, it helps to disguise the size of my back. So, shockingly, out of the blue I'm suddenly feeling like being able to pass as a girl isn't such a farfetched idea after all. Plus the workouts that I have been doing, although EXTREMELY painful (I really overdid it the first day, to the point that I could hardly even get out of bed the next morning because my muscles were so sore,) have indeed actually helped. When I put on my girl jeans to go with the wig, it actually did look like I had a butt! YAY!!! And when I did videos tonight,

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 19, 2013 11:55 pm for the first time EVER, I actually

was reasonably able to say "yeah, I could see that person as being able to go out as a girl without getting too many people questioning her." So yeah, this was a GREAT day in terms of confidence, and I am really getting excited again.

And to cap off a great day, I got a call from my old best friend from high school. (I don't know how many of you have read my "Tales of Interest" story, and therefore know about the character of Jon... well, this is the real-life version of him. He really was my best friend in high school in real life.) And after beating around the bush for a while, where he was asking me about what happened between me and Jenny, I finally did decide that the best thing to do was just come out with it and get it over with. So I told him everything. And just like with EVERYONE else that I have told so far, he was nothing but completely supportive, and actually said that he was really happy for me, that I was finally able to quit worrying so much about what others thought, and learning to love myself and be who I really am. We had a wonderful chat, he didn't treat me any differently, and he promised that he wouldn't tell anyone else until I was ready to publicly come out with it on Facebook. You know, I really have been blessed with amazing friends and family. Everyone tells all of these horror stories of being disowned and shunned and never looked at the same way again. Well, I've had the exact opposite experience. In many ways, I feel like everyone that I have told about it, I've actually felt much closer to them by the time that I'm done. Because for the first time, it feels like I can finally be myself around them without having to pretend to be a guy. Anyway, yeah, that was really awesome too.

And as one final note, as of yesterday, it's official, I now have boobs. Suddenly, about 3 or 4 days ago, I started feeling this weird new sensation coming from my chest area. Whenever anything brushed against my nipples, it randomly felt different. The male chest area really does not feel any different from the rest of the body. When you touch a pectoral, for the person who owns it it really does not feel much different than if you had touched his stomach, or his back, or his leg. And although I've always had rather large "man boobs," it was still that kind of feeling for me. They were there, but it was just normal fat in them. There was nothing especially different about them from the fat on my stomach or thighs. And even after beginning hormones, the only area that changed at all was the nipple. The sensation of the actual chest tissue had not changed whatsoever. Well, that is no longer the case. Suddenly, when I woke up in the morning, I started feeling this strange new odd sensation... like for some reason my breast tissue had changed, that now it was more sensitive, that now I could feel it better, and it felt like its own special part rather than just being a normal part of me. And when I felt around the area, I was shocked when I discovered that fatty tissue was beginning to grow in around the nipples. It was a kind of fat that's completely different from the rest of the breast. It's extremely soft, and very sensitive to the touch, and honestly just feels good to touch and feel, even thou

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sat Feb 02, 2013 7:39 pm gh the nipple still hurts. It's bre

ast tissue officially beginning to grow, my friends. Real, genuine female breast tissue. And when I looked in the mirror, it was really obvious. Rather than being a flatter more rounded shape like it always was before, now my entire breast is starting to take on a more conical shape. There is a very defined point in the area immediately surrounding the nipples. And when I did a video of myself trying out my "female walk" earlier, I was shocked to see that those little areas are starting to bounce and jiggle just like female breasts as well. So, yeah, it's official. I've had what I would consider to be female nipples for about the last week or so, but now I officially have breast tissue to go with them! It's official, people, I have boobs! (And I absolutely LOVE them! I can't stop touching the things, because I just LOVE that feeling of how soft the tissue is, and I just smile so brightly when I look in the mirror.) [So I guess that means that I'm now an official member of the "itty bitty titty committee?" (Again, I just can't get over it. I have boobs! How amazing is that? I LOVE THEM!!!) (Hello, girls, welcome to my body. I hope you enjoy being a part of me! I know we just met for the first time two days ago, but I love you already!) (And yes, I have actually been talking to my boobs. Shut up. :p)]

(Side note: I actually feel kind of naked when I'm not wearing a bra now, because I can feel those little sensitive boobs brushing up against the coarse inside of my work uniform constantly, and it just feels like there should be something there protecting them.)

God, I could just go on and on and on tonight. This was such a great day! But I don't want the length to get (completely) out of hand tonight, so I think that's enough.

Love and peace, homegirls and homeboys!

＼（★´−｀）人（´▽｀★）／

-Carrie

Just remember it DOES take time. Just what a few months and then compare the photos the you would be saying "was that me?"

_g

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Fri Jan 25, 2013 9:58 pm OFFICIAL HORMONE REPLACEMENT LOG...

MONTH TWO, DAY TWENTY:

Howdy again, everyone! This entry won't be too outrageously long, as I only really have three or four quick updates that I won't get into great detail

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Thu Feb 07, 2013 6:54 pm about, but I definitely did want to at leas

t come and update my body composition #'s and my measurements, since it has been exactly a week now since my last update. Then after that, I have a couple of life updates and updates to how the HRT has been going, so let's get started!

Updated Body Composition #'s:

Weight: 247.6 lbs [-14.2 lbs overall, -3.4 lbs since last update.]

Body Fat: 35.1% [-13.36 lbs overall, -0.8% since last update, or -3.2 lbs in mass]

Muscle: 37.9% [-3.81 lbs overall. +0.3% since last update, or -0.54 lbs in mass. (And yes, the mass is down despite the percentage being up.)]

Water Weight: 41.9% [-4.38 lbs overall. +0.6% since last update, or -0.08 lbs in mass.]

Bone: 8.7% [a slight decrease in mass, but pretty much statistically insignificant given the small %'s we're talking about here.]

Updated Measurements:

Hips: 45" [-0.5 in overall, unchanged since last update.]

Waist: 37.5" [-2.5 in overall, increase of 0.5 in since last update. (Damn... so much for all of those waist-slimming exercises...)]

Underbust: 38.5" [-3.5 in overall, unchanged since last update.]

Bust: 44.5" [-0.5 in overall, +0.5 in since last update. Yeah... this has DEFINITELY gotten bigger over the last week, and it's completely because of boob growth. The padded B-cup bra that I bought 3 weeks ago, I now almost completely fill out, while there used to be a big empty space in the cups.]

Overbust: 40" [-3.0 in overall, -0.5 in since last update. Yeppers, my upper body really is starting to shrink, and shrink fast. I've got almost a tube shape to my ribcage now, where it used to be a LOT more hefty on top. This is a promising sign, as my hefty back is still the primary thing that's making me look like a guy, even in feminine clothes.]

Updated "New" Measurements:

Upper Arm Circumference: 16" [unchanged]

Lower Arm Circumference: 12" [-0.25 in]

Neck: 15.75" [-0.25 in]

Upper Thigh Circumference: 26.5" [+0.25 in. My legs are starting to take on a more conical shape, with the very top getting slightly wider.]

Calf Circumference: 17" [unchanged]

Anyway, that's that. There has been some progress on the weight and on the measurements, but I really do wish it would go faster. I've been having some serious issues with body image over the last couple of weeks because I still have way too much "male" fat and not enough "female" fat.

As far as generic HRT changes are going, the main one over the last week has been boobs. I am growing them REALLY fast. At this time last week, I still pretty much had nothing but mild nipple growth, where now out of the blue I am suddenly filling out an oversized B-cup, and they've become big enough that I've had to start wearing a bra for purposes of modesty. The nipples now are almost ALWAYS sticking out, they've been growing, and I'm now almost already to the stage where someon

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Sat Jan 26, 2013 9:43 pm e looking at my bare chest might gen

uinely call them "boobs." I definitely was not expecting this to happen so quickly, but it has, and I'm certainly not complaining. Maybe my dream of having a C-cup chest isn't so farfetched after all. (I'm not getting my hopes up, though.) But if this is how much they can grow in a month and a half, I can't imagine where they'll be a year from now.

Also, and I know this isn't going to sound like a significant change, but I'm really starting to "feel" female now. I don't know what's happened over the last couple of weeks, but for some reason my mind has just REALLY started to feel like I'm female. I've noticed that as my muscles have been healing from the workouts, they're resetting and healing in a completely different way. So as I've been working out my legs, suddenly they started feeling like they wanted to move in a different manner. So now when I walk, my walk feels feminine. And my card-pitching motion has noticeably suddenly changed too. It feels slower and weaker, a bit more smooth and precise rather than powerful. And the way that I laugh and interact with people is changing too. When I talk to people, I really feel like a girl talking. My laugh, and my actions, they've just kind of naturally shifted to being more feminine. And it's not like I put any conscious effort into it, it just happened. And I can see this change in the videos that I've done over the last week. Suddenly, like magic, the same self that destroyed my confidence in my "girl mode" back in week 4 of this trial, is actually giving me more hope now. Because while I still don't look like a girl AT ALL from the back, my presentation suddenly just feels feminine. And I really don't know how to explain it.

There's also been some additional facial progression, but I'll be honest, I really can't put my finger on what. So I'll just post a picture at the end of this post and let the visuals do the talking for me.

I also have now officially come out to another very important person in my life... my dad. And unfortunately, he is nowhere near as accepting as my mom and Jon were. Dad's basically in denial about it. On the phone, as I tried to explain all of the reasons why I'm transsexual, he just constantly kept undermining me, saying things like "well that doesn't mean anything, lots of guys..." and on and on. So sadly, my record streak of people close to me understanding fully has come to an end. I know Dad will get over it and accept me just fine, but yeah, I can tell that he doesn't get it, and that it's going to take a long time for him to get away from that idealized father-and-son image that he's always had. (He takes great pride in introducing me to peop

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 22, 2013 9:54 am le, and saying "this is my boy Charlie." So, yeah,

I can kind of see why this would be tough for him. But whatever. He's an easygoing guy. He'll get over it.)

As one final note, I had my official consultation for laser hair removal yesterday, and it's set! My first official laser hair appointment will be next Tuesday at 11:30 a.m.! YAY!!! It's really going to happen!!! I'm going to have a smooth face again!!!

And to close out this entry, here's my latest "girl mode" picture, which was just taken earlier tonight. Critique away! Do I look like a girl yet? http://oi50.tinypic.com/dgmep.jpg (I purposefully was going for a neutral expression this t

cheetaking243 (imported) wrote: Fri Feb 08, 2013 7:18 pm ime, to better show my face's natural st

ructure. If you just have to have your daily dose of smiles from me, though, well fine, HERE (http://oi48.tinypic.com/1fhkdu.jpg) you go... :p)

Have a great night, everyone!

-Carrie