never mind what people say or think as long as you and your wife are happy nothing else matters

...

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:35 am after a long talk last night, I believe I may have made a break though with my youngest son. I think he is finally beginning to realize that his incessant beating of me with his Bible and his religious views is backfiring on him. I think he is beginning to see that GID is a real thing and not something that I've come up with in my own mind. In other words...maybe Dad's not crazy after all.

Erica,

Your statement brings to mind a non-fiction book I'm reading: Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of her Gay Son" by Leroy Aarons, 1995. It tells of a religious family in which the mother hammers her gay, teenaged son with religion. The son was especially troubled since he was religious, too. The announcement that he was gay put a rift between him and his family. All of his previously-admirable qualities (gentle, sensitive, funloving) became eclipsed by this one quality, a quality he didn't ask for, didn't like, and didn't possess until puberty. He lived a tortured life from then on and committed suicide at 21 (in 1983). His innermost thoughts are captured in a journal which the book quotes from. (I feel a real kinship with Bobby. Some of the despairing quotes sound like they came from my diary.) The mother, Mary Griffith, took years to process her son's death and finally came to the conclusion "God had not healed Bobby because there was nothing wrong with him" (pg 115).

To the reader: I don't want to cause thread drift regarding gay/religion stuff. If you have an opinion, just get the book and read it.

My point is this: Yes, Erica, hopefully your son will be able

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 07, 2007 6:35 am to see that GID is a real thing

-- a genuine part of your identity -- not a fetish or something that requires "healing." When I examine my GID in light of religion, I think "playing the man" would be a travesty, a mockery of what religion represents: living a genuine, truthful life. So I'm going to live by the truth and be who I am -- whatever that is.

Your friend,

Terri

Erica,

bryan (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 08, 2007 8:58 pm Your statement brings to mind a non-fiction book I'm reading: Prayers for Bobby: A Mother's Coming to Terms with the Suicide of her Gay Son" by Leroy Aarons, 1995. It tells of a religious family in which the mother hammers her gay, teenaged son with religion. The son was especially troubled since he was religious, too. The announcement that he was gay put a rift between him and his family. All of his previously-admirable qualities (gentle, sensitive, funloving) became eclipsed by this one quality, a quality he didn't ask for, didn't like, and didn't possess until puberty. He lived a tortured life from then on and committed suicide at 21 (in 1983). His innermost thoughts are captured in a journal which the book quotes from. (I feel a real kinship with Bobby. Some of the despairing quotes sound like they came from my diary.) The mother, Mary Griffith, took years to process her son's death and finally came to the conclusion "God had not healed Bobby because there was nothing wrong with him" (pg 115).

To the reader: I don't want to cause thread drift regarding gay/religion stuff. If you have an opinion, just get the book and read it.

My point is this: Yes, Erica, hopefully your son will be able

[quote="EricaAnn (imported)" ti

bryan (imported) wrote: Mon Jan 08, 2007 8:58 pm me=1168112100]
to see that GID is a real thing

-- a genuine part of your identity -- not a fetish or something that requires "healing." When I examine my GID in light of religion, I think "playing the man" would be a travesty, a mockery of what religion represents: living a genuine, truthful life. So I'm going to live by the truth a
[/quote]
nd be who I am -- whatever that is.

Your friend,

Terri

Wow! Great post. I think its SO worth reading on a number of levels. The thing that has troubled me about the forum is not the folks who have GID and are having surgery to get them "right" I don't have problems with people who are super obsessed to the point of madness about sex and want to dial it down. I try to be open minded but I do admit I'm not keen on the "Fetish" angle. People who get off on this and want some sort of combo surgical jerk off etc. Someone asked me why I felt it was different to support one "choice" and not be ok with another. Thank you for putting that into coherent words. Hope all is going well for you and I hope 2007 is better yet!

MtT aka James

Erica Ann,

I just read your story to date,and all I can say is... Wow! I bet every TS sees themself in at least part of your story. You should take what amounts to being your "blog" in this thread and turn it into a real book.

Your youngest son and my mother are similar. I never had to "come out" to my mother; she's known all along from my actions. She used to preach Leviticus to me regularly. One day, I simply asked her if she'd read Luke 6:20-38 and Matthew 7 recently. She hasn't preached Scripture at me since.

I will echo what others have said; you do have a lot of support here.

Jamie

(Preop MTF TS)

Hi MsJamie,

Welcome to E.A. and thanks for your post.

It hasn't been easy, but then again, no one said it would. Many people out there think we're freaks or simply, "A guy in a dress". To me...it's a very real thing. Why else would anyone subject themselves to the rejection, the loss of family and friends, the ridicule, the whispers behind your back or the out right face to face confrontations that many of us face if there was not this driving force within us to be ourselves.

My good friend Mike, who is doing his absolute best to try to understand the whole GID issue, put it best when he said to my spouse "can you image the magnitude of the force within him that drives him to do this." I can, because that "force" is within me.

Hi Everyone,

I've been so busy as of late and have had some computer problems to resolve with a few new upgrades that's it's kept me from posting.

Things are going well. My youngest son is finally starting to come around to the whole concept of GID and along with some acceptance, peace is coming to this house at last. Nothing new on the other family matter. It's now been almost 6 months and not a word from any of them. Oh well.

I'm now into my 3rd week of being on injectable estrogen. According to my endocrinologist, my metabolism rate is so high and he can't get my estrogen level up high enough using the oral form...even at the daily dosage of 8 Mg.'s.

I'm currently at 75 pg./ml. and he wants me up around 400-420 pg./ml. which is the normal estrogen level for a genetic female, mid cycle, in her early 20's. So I'm now on a weekly dosage of 0.5 cc's of injectable estrodial and in the process I've learned how to give myself an injection as well as how to properly fill a syringe. Kinda like throwing a dart...only aimed at your own thigh.

Got a raise in the salary at work last week, which is good. Makes one feel a bit more appreciated...if you know what I mean?

I'm now transitioned full time on the weekends and there is no better feeling than being one's self...even if it's currently from Friday night to Monday mornings, but that's my life for the time being, which, in my opinion is better than no life at all.

I'm glad your Doctor is getting your hormones into the right zone. Life for me in my m2M project went from miserable to wow! Injectables are a interesting way to get there. Does your Doctor prescribe the injections monthly or weekly or??? Mine suggested a monthy cycle but I talked to a bunch of guys who said this was a roller coaster. One week insane high levels. Two weeks of normality and one week of depressing low levels.

I heard from my endocrinologist today with the results of my latest blood tests. Liver and kidney function was excellent as well as my blood sugar levels. My testosterone level is at 22 pg./ml. Normal genetic female levels run anywhere from 20-75 pg./ml.

My estrogen level was at 605 pg./ml. WOW, what a difference the injectable estrodial is over the oral version....a little too high now. It should be between 400 and 420 pg./ml. so he's cut back my weekly dosage to 0.4 cc's from 0.5.

I go back for another blood test in 3 weeks. If I didn't know better...this stuff is like "female Prozac", I swear.

Hi Everyone,

Had a great weekend! The spouse and me met another TS and her spouse for dinner downtown on Friday night. I know Shaunna through another web site that I belong to. She was in town for a follow-up with Dr. Z. She had BA with him four weeks ago and looks absolutely great! We had so much fun and the food was fabulous.

On a whim, I decided to stop by my Mom's house this afternoon. She at least answered the door, which is more than I thought she'd do, but would not let me in. She told me that she couldn't see me this way (I was dressed in gender appropriate clothing) and when I decide to go back to being her son, she would talk with me again. Something I can't really do...considering I've never really been a man and therefore couldn't be her son. She just doesn't understand and probably never will. Oh well...it was worth a try. :-\

Had Terry over for dinner last Wednesday night. It was good to see her. Haven't spoken with her in quite some time. Her hair is looking great.

I've got another appointment scheduled with my endocrinologist for a blood test this coming Thursday night. It will be interesting to see where my estradiol level is at since I'm now on injectable.

Everything else is beginning to work it's way through and while I still have a long road ahead of me as far a transition goes, I feel I'm well on my way.

Hi Everyone,

I'm so excited that I just had to share the news. This morning I made an appointment for my free consultation with Dr. Z. For those of you that aren't familiar with the good doctor, Dr. Z is a fairly famous plastic surgeon in the Chicago area that specializes in FFS (female facial surgery). I'm going to see him on Monday, April 2nd to see what he can do with my old male face to make me more feminine or beautiful.

I know two girls that he has worked on and I've got to say that he does very nice work.

If things go well, I'm hoping to get my FFS sometime late this summer. OMG, I can't wait!

I've also noticed a much more rapid change in my physical appearance since going on the injectable form of estrogen 7 weeks ago. Little things like the fat transfer between my waist and hips has picked up dramatically. I'm actually beginning to develop that "hour glass" shape of a women. Breast development has also increased during the past 7 weeks. I'm really starting to get a decent set of boobies. There has also been a sharp increase in the softening of my face. My spouse even mentioned it to me the other day.

WOW, the hormones are really starting to kick in now and I'm real excited with the changes and the increased pace of my development.

I also have an appointment to get my eyebrows waxed tonight for the first time. I'm going to have them arched and thinned out. Pretty excited about this too.