randy (imported) wrote: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:17 pm Well 2 days ago was my 6 month point. So far being a eunuch is everything i could have hoped for. My sex drive is pretty much non existent. There is a lot more time to focus on things other than sex. My decisions aren't focused on sex like they were for so long. One of those, less selfish, decisions was to do missionary work. I felt lead to go to Oakland, California.

I had never been to Oakland and had to rely entirely on God to help me be bold, keep me safe, and provide for me. It was the most awesome period of my life. There is so many things to talk about I wish I had kept a diary. One of the best parts involved a lady named Ester. I was out street witnessing and I handed her a tract and began to talk to her. She seemed to light up and was so happy to meet me. Ester seemed like a sweet lady with a Romanian accent. She insisted that I come home and have dinner with her. I don't know if you have ever experianced someone from middle eastern/asian decent insisting on something but trust me there is no taking no for an answer. That afternoon i prayed about it and i read the book of Ester. So I went and met her at her house. Ester and her husband had prepared a full meal. She was an amazing cook. We talked about Christ and just had an amazing time. The conversation turned to their son who was away at college, UC Santa Barbara i believe. How they worry about him and his struggle with his faith. He was 20 and hadn't been to church in about 10 years. They also asked where i was staying and i told them i just got into town a week ago and hadn't really set up a place to stay. Just staying in hotels or where ever i wanted. As you can assume they insisted I stayed with them as long as I wanted. Looking over the amazing meal I couldn't and didn't want to say no. It was great to be around Christians who actually love. They left the house and trusted me to be alone even thought they had only met me a day before. I would go out during the day and witness and come back home and she would make snacks and dinner. Oh my gosh it was all so good. Apparently there is better kinds of cheese than Kraft singles.

So after 4 days of staying there in their sons vacant room I was laying awake at night unable to sleep. I heard a set of footsteps coming down the hall i didn't recognize. I saw my doorknob turn and i didn't know what to think. I saw a young man step in the room, turn on the light and lock eyes with a strange man in his bed (me). I explained who I was and tried to give him his bed back after his long surprise trip home. But surprisingly he didn't think it to be strange and wanted to know more about why I was there. We talked for about 10 minutes, I could hear his parents hovering outside the door. I realized that I was supposed to witness to him and as i thought about what to say he puts his head in his hands and begins to cry a little bit. He told me he had been praying lately. On his way home he asked God for a sign that he was real and here is a Christian missionary in his bed. We prayed together and he accepted Christ into his life. It was an amazing moment.

His parents had a little reunion with him and i went back to bed, they went in the living room and all talked and had pastries. The morning after I thanked them for their hospitality but felt like my purpose had been served in that situation. They lovingly sent me off, praising God and I will always remember them.

Well that was my high and the low was at a raider game. Basically i went to the stadium before a raider game and found people tailgating. I cant remember being scared of someone in a long time but i was actually scared of these peope. They were all drunk and rowdy. Dressed in all black, skull masks, spiked shoulder pads. Anyway I wasn't welcomed to say the least in one group of fans. I stood there talking to them as I spoke i saw a NFL football ZING! right by my head and bang into the side of a van leaving a large dent then they proceeded to literally chase me off their territory throwing beer and beer cans at me.

http://www.sportsfanmagazine.com/sfm/gr ... r_fans.jpg

All in all life is good for Randy.

randy (imported) wrote: Sat Nov 08, 2008 9:17 pm Well 2 days ago was my 6 month point. So far being a eunuch is everything i could have hoped for. My sex drive is pretty much non existent. There is a lot more time to focus on things other than sex. My decisions aren't focused on sex like they were for so long. One of those, less selfish, decisions was to do missionary work. I felt lead to go to Oakland, California.

I had never been to Oakland and had to rely entirely on God to help me be bold, keep me safe, and provide for me. It was the most awesome period of my life. There is so many things to talk about I wish I had kept a diary. One of the best parts involved a lady named Ester. I was out street witnessing and I handed her a tract and began to talk to her. She seemed to light up and was so happy to meet me. Ester seemed like a sweet lady with a Romanian accent. She insisted that I come home and have dinner with her. I don't know if you have ever experianced someone from middle eastern/asian decent insisting on something but trust me there is no taking no for an answer. That afternoon i prayed about it and i read the book of Ester. So I went and met her at her house. Ester and her husband had prepared a full meal. She was an amazing cook. We talked about Christ and just had an amazing time. The conversation turned to their son who was away at college, UC Santa Barbara i believe. How they worry about him and his struggle with his faith. He was 20 and hadn't been to church in about 10 years. They also asked where i was staying and i told them i just got into town a week ago and hadn't really set up a place to stay. Just staying in hotels or where ever i wanted. As you can assume they insisted I stayed with them as long as I wanted. Looking over the amazing meal I couldn't and didn't want to say no. It was great to be around Christians who actually love. They left the house and trusted me to be alone even thought they had only met me a day before. I would go out during the day and witness and come back home and she would make snacks and dinner. Oh my gosh it was all so good. Apparently there is better kinds of cheese than Kraft singles.

So after 4 days of staying there in their sons vacant room I was laying awake at night unable to sleep. I heard a set of footsteps coming down the hall i didn't recognize. I saw my doorknob turn and i didn't know what to think. I saw a young man step in the room, turn on the light and lock eyes with a strange man in his bed (me). I explained who I was and tried to give him his bed back after his long surprise trip home. But surprisingly he didn't think it to be strange and wanted to know more about why I was there. We talked for about 10 minutes, I could hear his parents hovering outside the door. I realized that I was supposed to witness to him and as i thought about what to say he puts his head in his hands and begins to cry a little bit. He told me he had been praying lately. On his way home he asked God for a sign that he was real and here is a Christian missionary in his bed. We prayed together and he accepted Christ into his life. It was an amazing moment.

His parents had a little reunion with him and i went back to bed, they went in the living room and all talked and had pastries. The morning after I thanked them for their hospitality but felt like my purpose had been served in that situation. They lovingly sent me off, praising God and I will always remember them.

Well that was my high and the low was at a raider game. Basically i went to the stadium before a raider game and found people tailgating. I cant remember being scared of someone in a long time but i was actually scared of these peope. They were all drunk and rowdy. Dressed in all black, skull masks, spiked shoulder pads. Anyway I wasn't welcomed to say the least in one group of fans. I stood there talking to them as I spoke i saw a NFL football ZING! right by my head and bang into the side of a van leaving a large dent then they proceeded to literally chase me off their territory throwing beer and beer cans at me.

http://www.sportsfanmagazine.com/sfm/gr ... r_fans.jpg

All in all life is good for Randy.

Milkman (imported) wrote: Tue Nov 11, 2008 9:23 am What a wonderful way to witness your faith!! God bless you

Francis (imported) wrote: Wed Nov 12, 2008 7:42 pm I know you will have thought about it a lot but I also feel that as a young man of 25 you should not be taking the irrevocable action of castration as your first line of defence against what you see as inappropriate desires and behaviour. It is a condition for which counselling may work and also the carefully managed chemical testosterone reduction treatments now available

I support the trial chemical approach. You can manage your dosage to control the urges that you feel you need to get rid of and I understand your feelings of concern and guilt re your activities. Does it matter how you get those urges under control? If you believe in God this seriously, do you not suppose that God may have had a hand in the development of these treatment options and provided them as a reasonable alternatives?

I support your right to seek castration if that is what you really really want but please think it through thoroughly. From time to time here we do hear from people who have made that decision, gone through with the proceedure and then bitterly regretted having done so.

I have a strong interest in castration that I manage because I believe that it is a fetish interest. i.e. castration becomes a sexual act in response to a sexual fetish. I have to say in my case this has caused me to maintain my intact status notwithstanding periodic strong urges to be castrated which I may yet do. However for me this fetish issue drives my interest and is not a moral issue which you put forward as your main concern. It may however be from what you say that you are avoiding facing up the the real possibility that your interest in castration is such a fetish in which case going forward with it would be a tragedy for your personal life.

You don't address your future interests in getting married and having a family. This is really the most important thing you will be giving up and while it may not seem too relevant to you now, I can say that giving this up will likely come home to haunt you with regrets when you see your friends and associates with their growing families and know that such pleasure and company is forever beyond your reach.

Please please give more serious thought to all of this before doing something irrevocable. Keep in mind the verse of the Persian poet Omar Kayyam which reads:

"The moving finger writes and having writ moves on Not all thy perspicaty nor wit can call it back nor all thy tears wash out a word of it"

No more advise!! Whatever you decide in the end is up to you and you will always find support here no matter which way you go.

kristoff wrote: Wed Nov 12, 2008 8:12 pm Who, I wonder, are you advising here? Randy was clipped 6 months ago...