My husband (H) had scans today (10/24/22) to determine how well the treatments went for his lung cancer. This included scans of his left lung for any remaining tumor and a brain MRI for any macroscopic lung cancer that may now have appeared in that location.

We are excited to discover tomorrow how well he did and what the next steps in his treatment will be. At the same time, we enjoyed the last six weeks with no cancer treatment[q

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 02, 2022 6:26 pm

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm [quote="Danya (imported)" t

ime=1656129960]
uote="Danya (im

ported)" time=1632195840]
s[

D [/quote] anya (imported) wrote:Tue May 10, 2016 7:40 am quote="Da

nya (imported)" time=1461124800]
.

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Fri May 28, 2010 7:58 pm __________________________

________________________
[/quote]
__________________

H and I s

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 02, 2022 6:26 pm topped at a good yet inexpensive Italian restaurant a

Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm fter his tests this morning. They had rock music from [quot

e="Danya (imported)" time=1656129960]
the 60’s and 70’s playing. I was surprised when I kn

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 1:44 pm ew band names before my husband recognized them. Turn

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 10, 2016 7:40 am s out I know a bit more about rock music than I suspe

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:00 pm cted. Especially a lot of Beatle

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 02, 2022 6:26 pm s songs. Who knew?

[quote="Danya

(imported)" time=1275

040680]
______________________________

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm ____________________

________________

As I drove
[/quote]
to the pharmacy this afternoon there was a Hay

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 25, 2022 2:06 pm dn symphony playing on the local public radio station.

I have never been a fan of most of Hadyn's music a

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 1:44 pm nd, although it is wonderfully crafted, it’s seldom s

poken to my musical spirit. Being forced to learn a H

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 10, 2016 7:40 am aydn piano sonata when I was in college did not make

me like his music more. Anyway, I went into the pharm

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:00 pm acy and purchased what I needed, paid for it, and went back out to m

y car. The Haydn symphony was over.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 28, 2010 7:58 pm __________________________________________________

_______________

In its place, the public radio station was pla

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 02, 2022 6:26 pm ying Brahms’ “Academic Festival Overture.” Although I am a huge fan o

f Brahms I have never been particularly fond of this piece. I always thought it cool that

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm it is based on German student drinking songs. But the orche

stral versions I have heard before all seemed to have a too-staid tempo. It is almost like the stude

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 25, 2022 2:06 pm nts were too drunk to sing more.

The version I h

eard today on the radio really picked up the tempo, and it made a big difference in bringing out the joyfu

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Sep 21, 2021 1:44 pm l exuberance of the music.

The overture had just

finished as I was pulling into our garage at home. As I got out of the car I found myself whistling again

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 10, 2016 7:40 am as I had on hearing the overture by Brahms. It remind

ed me of the time when I had changed my name legally at the County Courthouse and I had come out of the bu

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:00 pm ilding whistling and wondering if whistling was appropriate for women

to do. Now I decided I didn't care if it was appropriate or not, I was going to do it.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 28, 2010 7:58 pm __________________________________________________

________________

A week or two ago, I spent several hours playing the piano. That kind of time of intent investment in music-making usually gets my own creative juices flowing.

As I undressed so I could take a shower, I took a moment to admire my female form in the mirror. [This is not something I do often enough.] Somehow, this further enhanced the creativity I was feeling.

I started whistling some random symphonic pieces by different composers. I felt elated.

I got into the shower and then something happened that has not happened to me since college. I started to hear musical instruments but not as one might imagine hearing them. Rather, I heard them with me as if they were in the room. Sometimes they played bits of music I knew; at other times it seemed that I was developing the start of my own compositions.

This latest experience reminded me that I want to try my hand at music composition. With the proper intense musical stimulation first, I may be able to write down the notes of my ideas and work them into more complete compositions at a later day.

Song from the winner (I almost have an orgasm from it

Bee Gees - Massachusetts (1967)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=knFS8reh5oY

I love many of the Bee Gees' songs, including Massachusetts!

[quote="Danya (impor[quote="Danya (imported)" post_id=78899 time=1666694280 user_id=3065]
ted)" time=1664695560]
[quote="Dany
[/quote]
a (imported)" time=1656929100]
[quote="
[/quote]
Danya (imported)" time=1656129960]

There are times when I wonder if, just maybe, I've been living in La-La Land regarding my husband's (H's) cancer from its initial diagnosis 5 months ago and continuing with his ongoing chemo brain.

Don't get me wrong, I know I'm resilient. After all, I have been told so by three psychologists and one psychiatrist. The fact that I pay these people does not make their opinions suspect.

Both H and I are now ready to be done with the whole cancer thing. We hope we will be after H's medical oncologist, on 1/6/23, tells us the result of his 1/3/23 PET scan. The PET scan will be done to determine if the remaining mass in his lung is scar tissue (the expected outcome) or if there is still an active lung tumor.

There was a time, early on our shared cancer journey, when I thought PET scans were "cool," because what is detected is the annihilation event of an electron and its antimatter equivalent, the positron. Now all I care about is what the scan will show.

[quote="Dany

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Oct 29, 2022 8:20 pm a (impor

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Oct 25, 2022 9:38 pm ted)" time=1664695560]

Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm [quote="Danya (imported)"

time=1656129960]
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mported)" time=163[quote="Danya (imported)" time=

1655781720]
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2830000]

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:00 pm

Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Fri May 28, 2010 7:58 pm ________________

__________________________________ _________________

_________________________________
[/quote]
_________

I will have other things to report in another post including:

Was I given permission to practice my church's new, supposedly world-class (maybe second-tier) pipe organ?

What did I say to a non-trans woman friend at church about her outfit and how did she respond?

What's going on with my cute Physical Therapist?

Etc.

My post will be, for the most part, more light-hearted than this but not as frivolous as the list might suggest.

We learned in mid-January that my husband’s cancer is considered “cured,” as stated by his medical oncologist. Maybe this is a new designation for “in remission” because H must go for periodic testing to see if the cancer is still undetectable. We are thrilled with this “cured” designation, nonetheless.

The downside is that H is still experiencing symptoms of “chemo brain” or “cognitive dysfunction.

We are hopeful that his cognitive dysfunction will abate within the next year or less.

[quote="Dany[quo

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Danya (imported) wrote: Tue Oct 25, 2022 9:38 pm

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Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm

Danya (impor [/quote] ted) wrote:Sat Jun 25, 2022 2:06 pm [quote="Danya (i

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e=1655781720]
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Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:00 pm

Danya (i [/quote] mported) wrote:Fri May 28, 2010 7:58 pm ________________

__________________________________ ____________

______________________________________
[/

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Nov 30, 2022 8:14 pm quote]
____

Back when I didn't want to leave H

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Oct 29, 2022 8:20 pm

alone when he was undergoing both chemo and radiation therapy [quote="Danya (imported)" ti

me=1666694280]
for cancer, two women friends

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Oct 02, 2022 6:26 pm volunteered t

o stay with him for several hours while

Danya (imported) wrote: Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm I went s

hopping for some new winter clothes. I'll adm

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jun 25, 2022 2:06 pm it that I lov

e clothes shopping but I actually needed some new tops because I had, ahem,

Danya ( [/quote] imported) wrote:Tue Jun 21, 2022 1:22 pm gained some weig[quote="Danya (imported)" t

ime=1632195840]
ht. I found about six gorgeous new tops that I've been

Danya (imported) wrote: Tue May 10, 2016 7:40 am enjoyin

g wearing this winter. And it turned out tha

Danya (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 20, 2016 2:00 pm t H enjoy

ed chatting with both women while I was gone.

Danya (imported) wrote: Fri May 28, 2010 7:58 pm ___________

_______________________________________ __________________________________________________
[/quote]
_____

This coming Monday, March 13, I’ll have the opportunity to practice on my church’s new pipe organ for the first time. I can’t wait.

This is great news!

Thanks for updating us.

FANTASTIC NEWS!!! I'm really glad to hear th

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:30 pm at things are going so well for you.

I know about the ongoing check drama as my GF and I go through the same thing in regards to her melanoma, with the last 3 PET scans being clean, as well as the periodic 'skin checks' by her dermatologist.

Unfortunately her vision is not expected to improve. She had her first visit with a new neuro-opthamologist the other day and says that according to him her existing vision is so bad that she is to close to the bottom of the scale for him to be able to tell if it is getting worse... On the good side, she is showing slight improvement with her physical therapy, to the point where she keeps getting more appointments.

WheelyCurious

Paolo wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 12:36 am This is great news!

WheelyCurious wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 1:39 pm Thanks for updating us.

FANTASTIC NEWS!!! I'm really glad to h

WheelyCurious wrote: Fri Mar 10, 2023 1:39 pm ear th

Danya (imported) wrote: Sat Jul 12, 2008 7:30 pm at things are going so well for you.

I know about the ongoing check drama as my GF and I go through the same thing in regards to her melanoma, with the last 3 PET scans being clean, as well as the periodic 'skin checks' by her dermatologist.

Unfortunately her vision is not expected to improve. She had her first visit with a new neuro-opthamologist the other day and says that according to him her existing vision is so bad that she is to close to the bottom of the scale for him to be able to tell if it is getting worse... On the good side, she is showing slight improvement wi

th her physical therapy, to the point where she keeps getting more appointments.

WheelyCurious

Paolo and WheelyCurious, It is indeed terrific news. The thing that surprises us is that H has not been offered the chance to join an immunotherapy clinical trial.

WheelyCurious, I remember that your girlfriend's vision problem began as a result of an immunotherapy clinical trial. I'm sorry to hear there's no chance of her vision improving and that it is so poor.

I'm doing physical therapy for three body areas. PT often, but not always, works for me. Now when I practice floor exercises and have a little trouble getting up, the therapist is able to lift me back to a standing position.

Her vision loss wasn't a clinical trial - it was from Ketruda, (sp?) which is a 'mainstream', FDA approved drug that is even heavily advertised.... Arguably that should have raised a red flag for us, given that "As Seen on TV" usually translates to "doesn't work right"....

Her oncologist didn't want to file an "adverse drug reaction report" with the FDA, as he claimed her problem was "already described in the literature" as a fraction of 1% bad outcome risk... I couldn't get an answer out of him about how they knew it was that rare of a reaction if the doctors like him weren't reporting it.... However the adverse report system is 'voluntary' so no way of telling that I can see. (For whatever it was worth, I DID file a report...)

WheelyCurious

As I looked over a few early pages of this thread I realized something major is missing. Namely any talk about struggles I had in arriving at my decision to transition.

I remember writing about how in the world I went from identifying as a gay male to the happy place I was in when I started "Transitioning at work and in all of my life." I have no idea what happened to those posts.

As I continue this thread I will recreate some of those early trials.

Danya (imported) wrote: Thu Mar 09, 2023 9:22 pm [quote="Dany[quo[quote="Danya (imported)" time=1669799640

]
te="Danya (imported)" time=1667035200]
[/quote]

a (impor[quote="Danya (imported)" time=
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1666694280]
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Danya [/quote] (imported) wrote:Mon Jul 04, 2022 8:05 pm

[/quote] Danya (imported) wrote:Sat Jun 25, 2022 2:06 pm

Danya ( [/quote] imported) wrote:Tue Sep 21, 2021 1:44 pm

I'm sorry to hear you're having these challenges. I hope you're able to stay as active as you wish to be for some time to come, and able to do those things you wish to do.