I left my downtown job before noon. It was my last day and there was no work. Companies do not want to pay contract workers to surf the web. After leaving the office, I decided to get my roommate this wonderful popcorn she craves. Oprah recommends it. My roommate told me I could find it at one of the downtown Metra stations.
Turns out the popcorn store was closed for renovations. While I was at the mall-like entrance to the station, I stopped in another store and bought a small Christmas gift for 'X.' This is after I told him we should not buy each other anything for Christmas. Neither one of us can really afford it. Besides, although we are both relatively cash poor, we agree we have all we need.
I know, though, that he needs this particular item. Then too, like last year I find that, rather unexpectedly, I am in high Christmas spirits.
As I walked back to where my car was parked in the relatively inexpensive downtown ramp, at a mere $18/day if you enter before 9 AM, I meandered around roughly 10 city blocks in search of another store with my roommate's popcorn. I had no luck.
Over the last month or so, I have been gently reminding "X' of my upcoming birthday. I helped 'X' celebrate his early November birthday by taking him out to dinner at a nice restaurant and giving him a card. He now knows the date of my birthday so, I thought, all is well. When my birthday arrives, I can at least expect a card and perhaps dinner at an inexpensive restaurant. Today, I found out that I have been overly optimistic.
'X' and I spent the afternoon together. I told him about the Christmas present and reiterated that I was not expecting a gift from him. I let him know that I had gotten him a special card and that it would be great to get a special Christmas card from him. It need not cost much. He was mildly surprised that I wanted this card.
It seemed like a good time to mention my birthday, so I reminded him how thoughtful it would be for him to give me a card. He was, once again, surprised!
He said "I guess I'll have to get two special cards tomorrow." I added that birthdays are special occasions and that, while I realize he does not have much money, an inexpensive dinner or trinket would be much appreciated. On hearing this, he was even more surprised. I explained that it's important for couples to celebrate together; the more celebrations the better.
There are times when I wonder if he has been listening to me.
Clearly, the answer is "not always."
To be fair, I do talk a lot these days. I've always been very verbal and now I am even "worse." Before I transitioned, my 'verbalness' was mostly an interior thing. Now I express myself quite openly to all kinds of people.
On our afternoon drive, he asked if I liked to play sports when I was in school. "No," I told him, "I never did." Then I started a long conversation that covered all kinds of topics. Including: sports, movies, WWII, books, philosophy, ethics and, of course, "world peace".
I've probably missed a few subjects. Poor "X"! While he did participate in our talk, I would rather it had been more of a two-way discussion.
To be fair to myself, my HRT doctor and I enjoy similar elaborate conversations. At the end of one, I told Dr. "M" that I wasn't certain how I had arrived at my final topic. He told me that everything fit together quite logically and that he enjoyed our talk. He was a more active participant, though, than "X" typically is.
By this evening, I was feeling a bit exasperated with "X." Hell, I was concerned he would still overlook my birthday. I called him. He wanted me to give him ideas on what to do for my birthday, which I have over the last few weeks. Tonight, I left it at "You think of something. It doesn't have to cost much at all." I then asked, "Are all men this dense?" I already suspected the answer is "Yes." Or at least many men are exactly this way.
He took my question personally, which I only partly understood. He has told me, on a number of occasions, that he can be exactly this: dense. When I want to be sure he gets something, I need to (gently) shake him by the shoulders to get his attention. So I told him that my question was a verbal "shake of the shoulders."
Then I sent him part of an article that explains some things. I'm not at all sure how accurate it is. The writer claims that many men do not care at all if their birthdays pass unnoticed. Others are content to down a few beers with their friends. [NB: many gay men may view things quite differently.
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Women, on the other hand, expect that their boyfriends will remember their birthdays and do something special on that day. Not the next day or two weeks later.
On another subject, I will not start my new job tomorrow. The agency has not received my background check results. Then, too, my illegal drug test results are not in. The recruiter apologized, adding that the young women at the office who receives these results, and has sole access, was out sick today!
This same type of delay was a problem before I started my downtown job.
So I will have tomorrow off. This is bad timing for me. I will not work Friday - it's Christmas Eve. I worked 2 hours today. I do not get paid for time I do not work. This is one of the many joys of contract work.
It's OK, though. Tomorrow morning, I will get my passport photo and paperwork submitted. I'll need the passport for getting to Montreal in April.
Today, I wore a two-piece dress and jacket ensemble and received several nice compliments. Although I wore boots to the office, I took heels with me and changed on arriving. Starting Tuesday, when I being the new job, I won't be doing that again. It's important that I fit into the company culture.