feedback (imported) wrote: Sat May 07, 2011 3:30 pm I thought it would be enough to be androgen deprived but I was wrong. To be the eunuch I am ( no testicular function ) and shrunk to almost nothing with Vodka injections I still feel I need to have whats left removed to be a true eunuch. Still no luck finding help.

When I took Siterone my obsessive craving to be physically castrated greatly diminished. WHen I stopped taking Siterone, that craving returned. Was this because of a change in T level?

Following alcohol injections and a permanent reduction in testosterone production I again do not have an obsessive craving to be physically castrated. Should the opportunity arise to have them removed I might do it, or maybe not. Small hard dead balls that have no feeling or sensation almost make having them removed unnecessary and irrelevant.

So, just wait it out. Maybe in time your craving to be physically castrated may just be a little slow to change. I am still amazed that having no interest or desire or craving in sex, or ability to perform, is so agreeable. I was worried that I might be making a big mistake and would forever feel anguished that I could not feel sexuality. Quite the contrary. It is one of those rare occasions where something lost is something gained.

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Thu May 12, 2011 5:34 am Small hard dead balls that have no feeling or sensation almost make having them removed unnecessary and irrelevant.

Disregarding my obvious transgender personality traits, I've never particularly appreciated the physical presence of my testicles. They're too damned sensitive to impact/injury, and they constantly shift around during the day, annoying the bejeebers outta me. I miss the first several weeks after all my ethanol injections, when they were always riding high and tight, and never bothered me in the least. Oh well, it's only a matter of a few more weeks, now.

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Thu May 12, 2011 5:34 am I was worried that I might be making a big mistake and would forever feel anguished that I could not feel sexuality. Quite the contrary. It is one of those rare occasions where something lost is something gained.

I agree. Something gained is the loss of something you don't miss and it's hard to believe you don't miss it. When the sexual desire shuts down or is turned off, it's like you can't understand why you wanted sex on the one hand, and then on the other hand, it's hard to replicate the desire for sex because there's nothing motivating you to do it. The desire is missing but you don't miss it. Few things in life are like that. I lost my dog a few years ago, I still miss him. I lost one of my favorite aunts to cancer last September and I miss her at times. But I lost my testicles (castrated) and I don't miss them because I don't remember having them and I don't miss the sexual desires because my mind isn't being stimulated or fueled by testosterone.

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Thu May 12, 2011 7:28 am Disregarding my obvious transgender personality traits, I've never particularly appreciated the physical presence of my testicles. They're too damned sensitive to impact/injury, and they constantly shift around during the day, annoying the bejeebers outta me. I miss the first several weeks after all my ethanol injections, when they were always riding high and tight, and never bothered me in the least. Oh well, it's only a matter of a few more weeks, now.

Congratulations on your scheduled orchiectomy! God Bless!:)

Caith721 (imported) wrote: Thu May 12, 2011 7:28 am it's only a matter of a few more weeks, now.

QUOTE]

Caith, best wishes for a speedy recovery. Have you had your testosterone level checked recently? It would be interesting to know how much more it drops after the surgery. We'll be thinking of you on the 10th.

unencumbered (imported) wrote: Fri May 13, 2011 3:26 am Caith, best wishes for a speedy recovery. Have you had your testosterone level checked recently? It would be interesting to know how much more it drops after the surgery. We'll be thinking of you on the 10th.

I made the same suggestion regarding current T levels to my gender therapist two weeks ago, but I haven't taken the time to go to my GP and get the blood drawn. If I had to guess, I'd say it's below 200 right now. Between daily doses of cyproterone and a previous series of ethanol injections, if there are still any Leydig cells still putting out T, they must be very weak, at best.

nullorchis (imported) wrote: Thu May 12, 2011 5:34 am When I took Siterone my obsessive craving to be physically castrated greatly diminished. WHen I stopped taking Siterone, that craving returned. Was this because of a change in T level?

Following alcohol injections and a permanent reduction in testosterone production I again do not have an obsessive craving to be physically castrated. Should the opportunity arise to have them removed I might do it, or maybe not. Small hard dead balls that have no feeling or sensation almost make having them removed unnecessary and irrelevant.

So, just wait it out. Maybe in time your craving to be physically castrated may just be a little slow to change. I am still amazed that having no interest or desire or craving in sex, or ability to perform, is so agreeable. I was worried that I might be making a big mistake and would forever feel anguished that I could not feel sexuality. Quite the contrary. It is one of those rare occasions where something lost is something gained.

I fully agree. My testicles are now tiny and hard as stone. I consider myself a eunuch. It is clear I am no longer male- which is what I wanted. Ethyl alcohol is effective and permanent when done properly.

jerry,

Are you having an ultrasound test done w/blood tests to see where you're testosterone levels are at? If you do and the ultrasound proves that you're a eunuch and your testicles are dead, make sure you ask about the potential cancer risk that's been linked to atrophied organs.

I need to inject a bit of slightly off topic humor here, you guys are like the energizer bunnies of EA. Testicle free energizer bunnies... Calm energizer bunnies... trans energizer bunnies...

(five stars and two thumbs up!)

jerry4033 (imported) wrote: Sat May 14, 2011 3:53 am It is clear I am no longer male- which is what I wanted. Ethyl alcohol is effective and permanent when done properly.

Although my sexuality has changed from the injections, I still consider myself male.