need2be

Before I started TRT, I experienced the same things as you.

Then, the TRT kicked in, big time.

Not a pretty picture, at least for me.

There seems to be a problem with TRT, for me.

On the one hand, it can help us avoid negative physical deficiencies.

On the other hand, it is causing me negative emotional deficiencies.

I stopped taking TRT yesterday, and already, I am getting off the roller coaster.

I have done eight (I think....lost count) EVERCLEAR injections.

Even though both balls were small after the 6th injection I unwisely did 2 injections in the same week, and my balls swelled up to the size of large eggs, and surprisingly the right ball actually had some slight discomfort.

Today, the swelling is decreasing, the discomfort is decreasing, and I have sworn to not do another injection. I disposed of everything.

I am of the opinion that I may be mentally or emotionally or physically allergic to testosterone. I was doing very fine when my T level was very low. Then when I started TRT, I went bizerko.

I don't quite get the connection. Why would a normal or high level of testosterone cause me to want to be castrated, cause me to damage my balls? I don't get it. But so far, this seems to be the case.

The "fun" of being hypersexual, is not fun when it causes such negative consequences. It's not particularly fun being a sexual neuter, but it is far better than being consumed by sex that control you. I would much prefer to be asexual and in control than being controlled by my sex drive.

This is how I feel tonight. It has been an over 2 year process. It is progressive. I can not predict how I might feel in a few days, or next week. But for now, no more alcohol injections and no more TRT for me.

Time will tell what comes next.

Life is an experiment, especially when you are tinkering with nature.

Hi everyone I am a closet mtf. I have read these boards for years, but have never had the courage or the inclination to post until now. I have had a desire to become castrated for several years now. But now, at age 47, it may be a moot point. I think I am going through andropause. Yay! I have the classic symptoms: hot flashes, lethargy, reduced sex drive, lack of 'morning wood', ED, more pronounced gynecomastica (although I have had that condition since I was a teenager). But I am still interested in 'going all the way'. So needless to say, I have been doing quite a bit of research to that end.

I have studied the alcohol method extensively on this and other websites. It seems to be the least expensive and least painful of all the methods of self-castration that I have studied. In fact, I even ran across an abstract where researchers used alcohol on lab rats, with positive results. (I think they were considering it as a possible alternative to orchiectomy in cancer patients.)

However, I still have many reservations and a few questions. Many of you have posted that since injecting yourselves, you have experienced testicular atrophy, but I was looking or hoping if you could perhaps provide more measurable information about that. How much atrophy? In other words, what is the percentage of the size of your testicles now, compared to their size before you began? Better yet...what are their sizes now (in cm or inches) compared to their sizes before you began?

Another thing I was curious about was the texture. Many of you claim that your testicles have become harder than they were before you began injecting. How much harder? Do they feel like marbles? Like dry sponges? I am just trying to get a sense in my mind about their texture should I decide to embark on this route.

And one more question. Exactly where are these leydig cells. If I decided to just inject in the middle of the testicle, would that be sufficient?

Thank you so much for your input, should you decide to reply...

nullorchis,

I know how you feel.. My Perfect World - Dream would be for me to be able to take a pill and wake up a normal human.. I want to feel passion, lust, desire, sexual energy, and satisfaction...but not the way nature created me. I can not live any longer with this difference between my mind and my physical body. Since I can not transition at this time I desire to be asexual, non-functioning, no desire, no lust...not even an erection. I feel this is the beginning of a totally new life, the way my mind has always felt..non-male, emotional, shy, submissive, and most of all loyal....I am happy with my injection results so far..Good Luck.

It has been about a year since I quit injecting, I think. My left testicle is about the size of a peanut and my right the size of a grape. They are hard and have no feeling. They ride very high in my scrotum and it looks like there is nothing there. I have much more mass in the cords than the testicles. I used 80 proof vodka but kept injecting till none would go in.

feedback (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 05, 2011 10:42 pm It has been about a year since I quit injecting, I think. My left testicle is about the size of a peanut and my right the size of a grape. They are hard and have no feeling. They ride very high in my scrotum and it looks like there is nothing there. I have much more mass in the cords than the testicles. I used 80 proof vodka but kept injecting till none would go in.

I was done with 95% and it worked great. My testicles sound like they are exactly the same size as yours. No erections or ejaculations for 5 months now. I was taken from fully male to fully eunuch in less than 4 months. My castrator really knows what he is doing. I love being a eunuch. Exciting now and the trip was exciting and in its own way very sensuous. You are right about the cords. Still there and sensitive enough that CBT is still possible, but have not had any yet.

feedback, have you seen a urologist recently? Are you planning on having your atrophied testicles removed? Remember, there is a greater chance of cancer developing in atrophied shrunken testicles.

I believe

Hash (imported) wrote: Mon Feb 28, 2011 4:39 am that this method of castration

has helped make more eunuchs over the past few years then any other method ever employed.

Hi everyone! Like I said in a previous post, I've been feeling more sentimental and emotional since doing the alcohol testicular injections, and I seem to be more sentimental than earlier this week. I feel more feminine. When I listen to music and songs, they are more passionate and beautiful than usual. I know it's either because the significanly low testosterone levels after castration, the slight rise in estrogen levels after castration, or both. Anyway, out of curiosity I was wondering if anyone else using testicle injections, or who were castrated surgically/chemically without hormone therapy, have noticed a change in their emotions like this?

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gemstar21 (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:19 pm So my questions are:

Everclear is not available in my country. But we do produce rum. I did some looking, and found that the highest proof rum we produce is clear 75%/151 proof rum. I looked some more and found out that this basically ethyl alcohol. That should be able to work right?

Medical Grade ethyl alcohol (100% / 200proof) is ever clear, but 75% will work but may take more injections for the desired result. ONLY USE ETHYL ALCOHOL any other can kill you!

gemstar21 (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:19 pm Also, what are the correct painkillers to use? I read earlier in the thread that painkillers that thin the blood and that cause a central numbing affect might not such a good choice. So what can I use?

personal I did not need pain killers but it's one of those thing were your "mileage may very", If you have pain after the injection it will not mater just don't take acetaminophen as acetaminophen and alcohol may damage your liver, and it's "mileage may vary" thing to, varying form dead liver to no effect form person to person

gemstar21 (imported) wrote: Tue Apr 05, 2011 2:19 pm Some of the measurements reported here of after injection testicle swelling seem to be mind blowing! I read someone said one of his swelled up to 4 inches! That can’t be right…right? 4cm surely?

And, are swollen testicles noticeable during the normal day’s activities? I don’t want to have people steering and asking, hey fella, what’s up with the bulge?

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It is possible, mine did swelled up 1.5 to 2 times it's size but they where on the small size. It you ware baggy pants most likely no one will notice but then again it's a "mileage may vary" thing also depending on how much was injected and your reaction to the injection. If you are wearied about it just inject in the evening before your day off, my swelling was gone within a few days, but that can vary to.

_g

Marcy Thomas (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 06, 2011 10:29 am I was wondering if anyone else using testicle injections, or who were castrated surgically/chemically without hormone therapy, have noticed a change in their emotions like this?

I've been more emotional ever since starting down this road some three years ago. I do not take TRT. I find myself wanting to cry sometimes during certain movies and being more passionate about some things in life. I have to watch myself so I don't get too carried away with my emotions. Other things don't seem to bother me that much anymore, which I think is the descripton of the "eunuch calm" that some people here speak about.