twaddler (imported) wrote: Thu Dec 13, 2007 9:49 pm I just recently got a bill for my castration fix-up (scrotal exploration, I think they call it?). $534. I guess my Medicaid isn't going to cover it because they claim my insurance was not in effect at that time (I think? I must call and bitch about this).

Oh well. Not too bad.

Now there's a new career - scrotal explorer.

Comes up to what, ~$250/hour?

I could do that.

I suppose that would be a fun job if you had a cute scrotum (http://www.aafp.org/afp/990215ap/817.html) to work with, maybe?

On this date last year, at about this time, I was giving myself a truly horrible haircut to get myself ready for my stay in the mental ward following my autocastration. My clippers broke and I had to go buy new ones -- with a half-shorn head of hair. And then the new ones didn't work either (thank'a'you Family Dollar).

So I was all pissed that I'd have to show up at the emergency room, not only with my deflated scrotum, but with a bad haircut as well. (I was a bit more anxious about the bad haircut part than about the whole flapping scrotum, that is until the pain kicked in. )

twaddler (imported) wrote: Sun Dec 23, 2007 6:45 pm On this date last year, at about this time, I was giving myself a truly horrible haircut to get myself ready for my stay in the mental ward following my autocastration. My clippers broke and I had to go buy new ones -- with a half-shorn head of hair. And then the new ones didn't work either (thank'a'you Family Dollar).

So I was all pissed that I'd have to show up at the emergency room, not only with my deflated scrotum, but with a bad haircut as well. (I was a bit more anxious about the bad haircut part than about the whole flapping scrotum, that is until the pain kicked in. )

See, people like you give eunuchs everywhere a badhair name.

Happy anniversary to you!

lol.. I still havn't got a haircut I really need to get my eyebrows waxed, too!! They're starting to look like some kind of miniature Yosemite Sam mustaches.

Yours is a very interesting story. You are indeed a brave chap.

twaddler (imported) wrote: Sun Feb 18, 2007 8:00 am Oh, I went through treatment for Hodgkins lymphoma in 2001 and 2002. I've been cancer-free since completing a stem-cell transplant in November 2002. Though I've really not been keeping up with my doctors orders since February 2004 (thanks to intense fear of hospitals and doctors, lots of frickin' PTSD issues). I've finally gotten past that (my hospital visit for my castration actually helped)......

This quote struck a chord with me. Back in 1985 I was rushed to hospital after a motorcycle accident. I had nearly bled to death internally by the time they operated, and they only just saved me. As you can imagine, this was a most traumatic event for me. Not least of which was because I was going in and out of consciousness during the operation. (I later talked to the surgeon about this. He said that he and the anesthesthetist were unwilling to give me very much anaesthetic because I was so terribly weak.) Anyway, to cut a long story short, I expect you can imagine how pleased I was to get out of there, even though I was a spleen and a kidney short. That was in May of that year. All my friends and family were perplexed when, in early September the same year, I decided to go back into hospital (the same hospital too) for a voluntary circumcision. It was something I had been feeling like doing, but not getting round to. Somehow I no longer had any fear of the operation. It was even the same surgeon who performed the circumcision as had given me the life saving surgery 3 months earlier - I bet he thought I was a funny chap.

Hey tanglog,

I think I read parts of this thread some time ago. That was way before I started chemical castration 11 weeks ago.

You always come up with such clever thread titles ( not to mention avatars) though, that I've kept overlooking this one since then I started Androcur. I've really enjoyed rereading your experiences.

Although I'm a bit (OK, a lot ) older than you, it's really interesting and reassuring to me that many of the emotions and physical changes I'm experiencing mirror your own. I can also relate to your sexuality, as I'm gay, too.

I haven't had a single hot flash to date, which I find disappointing. It seems like this is a rite of passage for eunuchs so I can't really make the grade until I experience those.

I'm totally thrilled by the clear, minimal ejaculate. OTOH, I've never experienced this multi-orgasmic thing. Maybe I need some help developing my technique .

I first asked my psychiatrist for a reference to a gender specialist in October. I'd done some self-harming over the years but it tended to be intermittent. The two weeks before I spoke to him, though, I'd been doing this just about every night for two weeks AND getting really drunk on 5 - 6 cans of beer. I knew I needed to do something or risk becoming an alcoholic, badly damaging my body in a way that might not be repairable and who knows what else. I explained all this to him.

Now whenever I see him, he always asks if I'm thinking of castrating myself. I'm extremely clear with him that I am not, which is true. Now that I'm on Androcur, any desire like that has disappeared.

He knows I'm seeing Katie at the Univer of Minn Center for Human Sexuality. I suppose, with my history or depression (now totally absent and I hope that lasts) and more recent hypomania, it's not unreasonable for him to ask me this.

I'm not sure what he'd do if I said I was thinking of auto-castration. Sounds like here in Minnesota you can be committed if there's a perceived threat of self-harm. In one case I just read, part of the proof of self-harm was the inability to keep a neat household. If that were the only criterion, I'd have been locked up long ago!

Very occasionally, I wonder if I'm doing the right thing with chemical castration. There was a period of about 10 days in mid-December when I was reducing the Androcur dose because I was running out. First five days of that were fine, then I started to feel like the 'old' Todd with some testosterone and I was absolutely miserable. When the new shipment of Androcur arrived, I felt like I'd rediscovered the fountain of youth Or at least the fountain of middle age!

I don't want to go back to the old me, I'm really into the new me. At this point in my life, and I know this doesn't or can't work for everyone, I feel like the more open I am about my status the better. I'm absolutely comfortable being open. I feel that if I have a need to hide what I'm doing, who I am (transgender male to eunuch) or where I'm headed, I must not be ready for it.

Best of luck as you continue your journey, tanglog.

-todd

"

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 13, 2008 10:29 pm Sounds like here in Minnesota you can be committed if there's a perceived threat of self-harm.

"

I kept reassuring, and promising, my therapist during the year leading up to my autocastration that I wouldn't go through with it. She wasn't very happy when I actually did go through with it. :/ She said she never believed I would actually do it.

Danya (imported) wrote: Sun Jan 13, 2008 10:29 pm I'm not sure what he'd do if I said I was thinking of auto-castration. Sounds like here in Minnesota you can be committed if there's a perceived threat of self-harm. In one case I just read, part of the proof of self-harm was the inability to keep a neat household. If that were the only criterion, I'd have been locked up long ago!

That's very interesting. I guess I fit the profile then. My room is a mess and I have harmed myself

I wonder had I succeeded would my room be cleaner?

Just a quick comment, jemagirl. I always follow your posts and enjoy them. This one is no exception!

As for me, it seems the longer I'm on Androcur the messier I'm getting. Not that there's rotting food lying about, or anything similar though. Just a general, deeping failure in the neatness department.

-todd