Tonight, MLF #1 (my lesbian friend #1 - there is a #2 btw ) and I went out to dinner to celebrate. She's been having a tough time lately and just got home Friday from a day in the hospital. With multiple health issues, it can be hard to keep all her meds balanced. That was the reason for her hospitalization. They got things right with her meds. I was really relieved that she was back to normal and we had a really relaxing evening together.

She asked me how I was handling my CA brother's rejection of me. I told her I hadn't really thought about him at all lately. I also said that, although the Texas relatives are making some little noises of support, I hadn't heard anything more from them. I did not get an invitation to my nephew's high school graduation and that had bothered me a little for a few days. It's clear he hasn't adjusted to my 'news'. That's the way it goes. I have no expectations for any real support from any part of my biological family. I'm open to the possibility of that changing but it may never happen. I'm completely at peace with that. My friends on the Archive, at work and others locally are in a real sense my family.

After dinner I was getting in my car when I noticed a young man about 30 feet away by his car. He was pulling his shirt off and I've got to say right then he got my attention. Once he was shirtless I figured he'd put on another shirt. Instead, right in the middle of the parking lot, he took off his pants, too! There he stood with no shirt and in his boxer underwear. This was right outside a busy restaurant. I figured at that point it was time to leave so I turned on my headlights which shone right one him. He didn't seem to care and I drove off. He was probably changing for a date, or something. I've never seen anything like this before.

To help ensure a smooth transition, it's important that people I work with outside my company (i.e., vendors), know what's going on. In fact, they also need to be told that my transition has full management support, etc.

I just checked my work email account and read a note sent to me by my boss late Friday. My terrific boss had already personally spoken with a number of these outside people before the official notification went out. As it is, I'd already told two of them myself within the last few weeks. At any rate, my boss told me that 'ALL' the outside people have been supportive and had thoughtful questions.

I feel like the path in front of me has been made entirely smooth for Monday. I am very fortunate.

Hi Dayna,

I'm so excited for you and the big event coming tomorrow. Don't be concerned, you'll do just fine.

I know from my own experience that it's going to be a day to look forward to. The first day of your life as really being the person you truly are. It's going to be a beautiful and liberating experience.

As far as the breast thing, have you considered a pair of breast forms? Their available at any shop that carters to the TG world. Knowing where you reside, there should be some kind of a shop of this type in your area.

Anyway, good luck and have fun tomorrow. Just be yourself, relax and I know that everything is going to go well.

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Mon May 19, 2008 5:43 am Hi Dayna,

I'm so excited for you and the big event coming tomorrow. Don't be concerned, you'll do just fine.

I know from my own experience that it's going to be a day to look forward to. The first day of your life as really being the person you truly are. It's going to be a beautiful and liberating experience.

As far as the breast thing, have you considered a pair of breast forms? Their available at any shop that carters to the TG world. Knowing where you reside, there should be some kind of a shop of this type in your area.

Anyway, good luck and have fun tomorrow. Just be yourself, relax and I know that everything is going to go well.

Hi Erica Ann,

Thanks for your good wishes and thoughts. I am excited and know things will go well. You are absolutely correct, it will be the first day of my life being who I truly am for everyone to see. I can hardly believe it's happening and I expect it to be a lot of fun.

Some weeks ago I read that it can help on your first day to meet friends early for breakfast. They would then walk into the building with you to make that easier. I realized early this week that I don't need that and will arrive by myself.

I'll check into the breast forms. Macy's is also reported to be very trans friendly and I had looked at breast forms there a few months ago. Yes, I'm positive there are TG-friendly stores in this area that would have all kinds of breast forms.

-Danya

Greetings Danya

Congratulations!!!!!

I'm very proud of you for having the courage to charge ahead. And you attitude should serve you well. Have a great day tomorrow and if problems come along I know you will be able to handle them.

I don't post a lot on line but I have followed EricaAnn and others in similar situations. And now you? I'm looking forward to the day I can go full time also.

lindaLeah

lindaleah (imported) wrote: Mon May 19, 2008 10:49 am Greetings Danya

Congratulations!!!!!

I'm very proud of you for having the courage to charge ahead. And you attitude should serve you well. Have a great day tomorrow and if problems come along I know you will be able to handle them.

I don't post a lot on line but I have followed EricaAnn and others in similar situations. And now you? I'm looking forward to the day I can go full time also.

lindaLeah

Hi lindaLeah,

Thank you very much for the congratulations and good wishes! I really appreciate your writing and saying 'hello'.

Best of luck to you as you proceed.

Danya

EricaAnn (imported) wrote: Mon May 19, 2008 5:43 am As far as the breast thing, have you considered a pair of breast forms? Their available at any shop that carters to the TG world. Knowing where you reside, there should be some kind of a shop of this type in your area.

Erica Ann was right on with the suggestion of using breast forms. I went to Macy's and got a pair for a mere $13! They look terrific.

I've visited web sites where they advertise breast forms that move with your body, jiggle enticingly, warm to your body temperature and so on. Those cost about $150, though. I think I can be patient until the real things develop on their own!

Now I will feel comfortable in whatever I wear, knowing my breasts look like the real thing. These inexpensive breast forms have the proper natural shape.

Danya,

:)Your big day is finally here and you are probably already at work!:)

Please tell us how it went.

Danya,

Mac (imported) wrote: Tue May 20, 2008 8:30 am :)Your big day is finally here and you are probably already at work!:)

Please tell us how it went.

Hi Mac,

Things went very well. I woke up well rested and calm. The only anxiety I had was just a momentary twinge on pulling into the office parking garage.

At first, I was a little disappointed because everyone was treating me the same as always. That is, politely and in a professional way. Couldn't they see that I was very different now? Of course, the whole purpose of the transition team and the way things were handled was to make things go exactly this smoothly.

I got to my desk and found a beautiful vase filled with roses. The men in my group had chipped in for this. This was a very sweet thing for them to do. I had work to do at that point and while I sent them a nice thank-you note, I didn't really react much emotionally. Now as I write about it I'm in tears. It was such a welcoming note of support from my group that meant a lot to me.

Early in the day the Senior VP of HR stopped by to see if everything was going well. It was going extremely well. Later in the day other members of management in my division checked in with me, too.

When upper management sent out the corporate email announcing my transition, I was surprised that hardly anyone in my division reacted. The type of work we do, though, tends to attract introverted, quiet people. It is also predominantly male. Today, a number of the men went out of their way to talk with me. It was really touching. One or two shared some of their own history. As an aside, Danya is much less introverted and quiet than the norm for my division.

Late in the morning, a young woman from one of the other divisions walked over and handed me a single rose. As I write this now, it seems more incredibly wonderful than when I was at work. She was also wearing a special adornment, a bell. It was then that I heard that a manager in another department, who is very GLBT friendly, sent an email to his friends asking them each to wear something special today to show their support of me. There were several people around me then who made it a point to show me what their special item was. This manager saw me later in the day and was very warm and enthusiastic in his support.

Others stopped me and offered their congratulations and support throughout the day. Yet others easily greeted me as Danya as I passed them.

In the early afternoon, someone from another department I work closely with called and asked when I was going to pay them a visit. So, off I went. Several of the people there didn't recognize me at first. They thought I was a new employee! It was only after a quick talk among themselves that they figured out my identity. I had some very good and affirming conversations with these people.

A woman in my own department, whom I had told at least a month ago about my upcoming transition, asked if I had seen her do a double-take earlier in the day when she had seen me. I hadn't. She mentioned how terrific I looked, as had a number of others throughout the day. What was especially nice in this case was that this younger woman said she could tell how happy I was and that I was glowing.

Yet another woman in my department, who absolutely never wears a dress, wore one today to show her support of me. She also had some very supportive words.

Things are off to a very good start. It was a great day that I will always remember.

Tomorrow, we're having a lunch for GLBT employees and one of the women is baking a cake to celebrate my transition. Really cool! Someone on the group's mailing list also suggested a pot luck in my honor. Not that there's any reason for them to honor me, but it just shows what great people I work with.

Tomorrow evening I'll go out for dinner and drinks with a number of women from work. Life is very good!

-Danya

After work, I needed to buy a few pairs of slacks. I like going to Land's End for slacks because many of the women's styles give the inseam length. I've yet to see that in another store and at this point I'm still confused by women's size markings on clothes.

I've purchased women's clothing at Land's End before even when still dressing as a male. The first time, I told them I was transgender and would take the items into the men's fitting room. Turns out they consider their fitting rooms unisexual.

After buying a few things at Land's End, I decided to go next door to Penney's to see if I could spot an inexpensive dress. There are no unisex fitting rooms at Penney's and when I've gone in male mode to such stores before I'd simply take women's clothing into the men's changing room. Granted, this got me a few stares but I didn't care. Sometimes, with dresses, I can tell it will fit by holding it up to my shoulders. If it stretches across, it will fit.

I found a really nice dress at Penney's priced at only $15. Now that I'm always dressing as myself, I thought 'what the hell, I'll just walk into the women's fitting rooms to try this on." That's just what I did and no one gave me a second glance.

My therapist would have told me I should wait to receive the 'bathroom letter' from her. It should arrive this week. This essentially states that I am officially transsexual and it's therefore totally OK for me to be in places like the women's rest room. It's also to let a cop who may stop me know that I'm not in disguise after robbing a bank!

At any rate, I felt confident at Penney's that I wouldn't have a problem in the women's fitting rooms. I was also trusting people's input that I 'pass' well. I figured the worst that could happen is the store security would want to talk with me and I could have a lot of explaining to do. I am very capable of explaining myself.

The dress was a perfect fit but unfortunately needed a little repair work. That was the reason for the really low price. If I had sewing skills, I would have purchased the dress. It was a good deal and quite attractive but I had to pass it up. I left the women's fitting rooms with no one suspecting anything amiss. The truth is, there was nothing amiss because by law in my state I am permitted to use gender-appropriate facilities. This is specifically spelled out for transgender individuals.