The thing is, Losethem, part of the reason I'm considering a name change is as a confirmation and affirmation of my new identity. If I stay with my nickname, which I do have some fondness for , it won't do what I really want.

PAT! (http://us.ent4.yimg.com/movies.yahoo.co ... ey/snl.jpg)

O.K.?

Uh, probably not, A-1. I've never been thrilled about the name Pat and besides, I don't want folks thinking of SNL Androgynous Pat every time they say my name. Not that I mind being thought androgynous at all, I am! I want them to be thinking androgynous me, er Lee, or whatever.

In one of the "Pat" skits, a co-worker tries to get a hint by asking Pat, "Any relationships?"

"I used to go out with Chris."

"Oh."

"But we've broken up."

"Uh, does Chris go out with someone else now?"

"Terry."

Thanks, X. I know I've seem some of those 'Pat' skits but haven't been able to remember any. You've jogged my memory with this one and I remember seeing it. Still gotta check out the SNL web site to see if they've got any clips of Pat.

The more comments I get here and the more I look into the name change idea, the more excited I'm getting.

Lee, as a new name, wasn't anything I'd really given much thought to at all. Yes, I like the sound of it but I'm not yet feeling the necessary emotional connection.

devantier, I really like the Danny idea. If I were to choose that, I might indeed spell it Dannie.

fredericlei, I'd never heard the term epicene names before. Thank God the Wikipedia article in short order explained the meaning. It's a neat article but it's now 2:15 AM (why, oh why do I stay up this late!) so I'll probably wait to read it more fully.

Slammr, while I still had older relatives living, they also persisted in calling me by a childhood nickname. One that I'd never even chosen for myself and always loudly complained about! What's with these people, anyway?

Jesus, I completely agree that any name change will be for my own comfort and peace of mind. What's most important is who I know I am, and that includes what I consider my true name to be.

I hope to be awake enough tomorrow (argh! later today!) to get up a list of possible names. Maybe I can take a poll and go with whichever gets the most votes! Don't even consider a write-in vote for Pat, though

Really getting into this name change thing here. I didn't want to go to bed so I've come up with a partial list. Two of these created an immediate emotional click as soon as I saw them. Those are promising but all the names on the list are possibilities or I wouldn't have chosen them!

More on this later in the day. I really do need to get some sleep.

Here's my edited list of possible first names. Some have info on origin and meaning. My favorites are Jan, Kirit and Vanya. For Jan, I'd use the German pronunciation 'Yan'. I especially like these three names because they are very uncommon in the US and they sound really nice. Kirit's also got a terrific meaning. Please note that Pat is not listed !

I'm not in any rush to legally change my name. To see how I feel about that, though, I may soon start 'signing' my posts with a new name.

Sascha/Sacha/Sasha/Saša (Саша in Cyrillic alphabet), in most languages short for Alexander (masculine) or Alexandra/Alexandria (feminine). In Serbian and Croatian languages it can, in addition, also be a unisex full legal first name.

Jan (feminine in English, masculine in German and pronouced "yan")

Kirit Shining Like the Sun (Sanskrit/India)

Jesse (Biblical Hebrew (father of King David) (masculine), Jessie (feminine), or short for Jessica (feminine))

Kit (short for Christopher in males)

Lee (in the US, usually masculine with Leigh a more common spelling for feminine; in Australia, Leigh is a more common masculine spelling, and Lee is more common as a feminine spelling)

Max (usually short for Maximilian or Maxwell with males, and Maxine with females)

Danny/Dannie

Sam/Sammy/Sammie (shortened versions are unisex, ie. for Samuel (masculine), Samson (masculine) or Samantha (feminine); -ie generally feminine)

Vanja is a unisex full legal first name in Serbia and Croatia, and presumably also in Montenegro and Bosnia. It is pronounced roughly "vah nya" with the stress on the first syllable; here "nj" is a single letter of Croatian latin alphabet representing the voiced nasal palatal consonant /ɲ/, corresponding to the nje (њ) in the Serbian Cyrillic alphabet (where the name is spelled as Вања). Feminine example: Vanja Halilović, the TV talk-show host; masculine example: Vanja Radauš, the sculptor. In Russian, it is a nickname for the masculine name Ivan, while in Sweden it has become a feminine name due to the -a ending

Vanya has some endearing variants.

"Oh, my little Vanyushka, did that cute Toddinka make a pass at you today?"

What's your given middle name, by the way?

Good luck with all this. I'm in the States this week and just caught somebody named Newt on ABC. He seemed like a Dick, but that wasn't his name. Is he neutered?

I admire your efforts and realize I might not be helping -- other than to help you eliminate some of the worst ideas. By whatever name or names, best of luck in being and feeling the real you.

From NN, not an N

Hi NN,

I'm glad to get feedback from anyone and I enjoy your comments. The line "Oh, my little Vanyushka..." is great.

I'm not prepared to give out my legal name, including middle name, on EA, but it didn't hurt to ask!

Was this Newt guy by any chance Newt Gingrich? He's the only Newt I've ever heard of. He used to be a US Congressman and and one point held the top job in Congress: Speaker of the House. I might get onto dangerous political ground if I gave a response to your "Is he neutered?" question. I think he's changed quite a bit politically since his days in Congress.

The whole thing with the possible name change is I really do feel like a new person. It's kind of like using my nickname draws me back to the old me.