um, perhaps this isn't really a relationship for you? you like being with such a looker so much you would rather forgo sex and subject yourself to the humiliation of her cheating on you. that ain't a marriage, a marriage is between 2 people. Divorce, wean off the paxil, find someone more compatible with yourself and have a happy life the way nature intended it to be.

Calmed Husband (imported) wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2007 2:20 am I have not checked in for awhile. I had no idea, my story would have such a negative reaction on this site. I'm sorry but it is the truth.

I knew my wife was what some might call a slut, before I married her. She told me she did not think it would be possible to settle for just one man the rest of her life. She is a stunner of a women; huge breasts, nice legs, a incredibly beautiful face, and incredibly talented in bed. I was totally under her spell. It turned me on to hear about her incredible past sex life and see some of the pics and videos of her with various studs. She had been with some guys that would put porn stars to shame.

I was not suprised by her fooling around; it just was harder to accept than I thought it would be.

She got me to agree to take the meds, with the understanding it would be easier for me to accept cuckolding and no more sex. The results were something that no man is really prepared for until he is experienceing them.

Just trying to figure some things out. Castration is not exactly something you can discuss with a buddy at work.

I'm not going to judge you. I just want you to think about a thing or three before going through with any surgery you may regret later.

Firstly your wife's good looks wont last forever. So you might want to consider what a relationship with her will be like when she can't count on her looks to get laid any more... Might she not want from you what you are no longer able to give? If you've been castrated there is no going back. OTOH she may just become even more insufferable than she already is! Frankly I am not sure which would be the worse outcome of the two.

Secondly Paxil is not a substitute for marriage counseling. I would have serious reservations about going to professional who would prescribe ANY medication to make being cuckold tolerable. If you are not into the cuckold lifestyle of your own accord then you ought get out while the getting is good. To give you a good analogy: "If the music doesn't sound good when you aren't on DRUGS, it isn't"

Finally, before you get castrated to need to be free from the influence of the Paxil. How else are you going to know if this is what YOU want or just something you are willing to tolerate, due to the effects of the Paxil?

Calmed Husband (imported) wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:07 am She has been putting the pressure on me to have the surgery. Right now it seems like not such a big deal. My drive is way down and having a hard time getting an erection. Even sexual thoughts are few and far between.

Last weekend I snuck upstairs and watched from the hall as this well hung stud fucked her long and hard. It just is not the same anymore. Not the turn on it once was.

Who can judge. Personally if there is not trapeze in the bedroom its just not the same for me...

So you choose to take the Paxal because you enjoyed watching but it was too much for you? In what way? I have a friend who used to do online dating and he said the 3 somes were always horny wives with husbands who wanted to sit in the corner, jerk off and watch. Is that the "thrill" you had?

If her thought that by getting you castrated she is doing you a favor? ie making it jealousy free when she is being "done" by her group of boyfriends? If so I would educate her that there is more baggage that goes along with your having surgical castration. *Assuming you don't take HRT. There is bone loss, mental focus can fade, you may suffer serious mental illness type symptoms that look like depression. You may gain weight and loose energy and start to show a lack of interest in more then just sex. Hot flashes etc.

Does she know all that? What does she say is the purpose in having you around? Is she just crazy in love with you but just not sexual or ahhh... what? exactly? Part of it is that I (and others it appears) don't get the whole cuckold lifestyle thing. Or are you some sort of sex (non sexual) slave deal going? I realy don't get much of this to be honest. And the simple advice that you may not be capable of making rational decisions while under the influence might be worth pondering. Maybe you should try a vacation from all this and see if it all makes sense when your head is clear and your hormone levels are healthy?

What do you think?

Calmed Husband (imported) wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:07 am She has been putting the pressure on me to have the surgery. Right now it seems like not such a big deal. My drive is way down and having a hard time getting an erection. Even sexual thoughts are few and far between.

Last weekend I snuck upstairs and watched from the hall as this well hung stud fucked her long and hard. It just is not the same anymore. Not the turn on it once was.

I'm with Jemagirl and the rest of the "Run away as fast as you can." bunch. Like others here I am not sure how much fantasy is built into your description of your current life but I have this to say. I believe that you are clearly in dangerous realtionship, not only dangerous to your gonads, but also to your general well being and maybe even to your life. She really does sound like a vindictive selfish person only interested in self gratification who may one day do you serious harm if you don't get away from her. I would be really alarmed at the secret medication activity you describe which may be affecting your libido and thus your ability to make rational decisions.

My advice is to take some time out alone by yourself to see if you can get your life back in order. If all of your current feelings remain then maybe you are where you really want to be and should continue notwithstanding the risks. We all get our rocks off on different things and maybe this is really your particular thing.

On the other hand if you find that, once separated from this manipulative lady, your feelings of inadequacy reduce and your libido goes back up to a higher level, then it is likely that she has been feeding you something and you should just split with her and find some else to make you happy.

To me it sounds like a compulsive obsessive fixation on your part and I recommend this separation for a while to think it through and sort out what your real feelings are. Then if you still feel that staying there and possible castration is for you, you can go forward with that on a more rational basis. At the end of the day it is your life and your happiness that matter here and I hope it sorts itself out for you. All the best

I'll agree with the others - you are being used and abused by your "wife."

I like to watch my wife with other men, but only when both she and I are fully in agreement to make it happen.

DUDE!!! Anyone who is loaded up with as much drugs as you have been, isn't going to care about having sex and being cheated on. Not being completely miserable b/c of taking large doses of anti-depressants is not the same as actually being happy. If you divorce this bitch, get off the drugs (under doctor supervision), and get into a decent relationship, you'll be much much happier. Eventually you'll look back at this part of your life and wonder how you ever made it through the day.

You were really surprised to see so many "negative" responses to your post, but the thing is nobody is being negative. Everyone is trying to help you and be supportive. People in your sort of position are unlikely to realize that they need to get out and get help. Battered women rarely leave their partner, or worse, leave but then return to him later. No matter how you feel, being in such an abusive relationship is not good for you. You need to get out. Even if you like having no sex drive, you should still leave your wife.

Calmed Husband (imported) wrote: Mon Nov 26, 2007 8:07 am She has been putting the pressure on me to have the surgery. Right now it seems like not such a big deal.

That's the drugs talking, and that's exactly why she wanted you on drugs. Think about what it was like before all this. Imagine early in your relationship with your wife, and what it was like then. Surely the two of you had sex when you first met. Now imagine if your wife told you then that so many years later she would never have sex with you again, and instead have sex with a different man every night, and she would CUT OFF YOUR BALLS. I GUARANTEE that if you had known how this would turn out from the start, you never would have stayed with her. So why would you stay with her now? The reason you're still with her is that she has been manipulating you for so long and now she's drugged you to make it even easier, so that now she has complete control over you.

Basically, you need to leave.