I'm not (honest) trying to find fault with you guys. But what have you done to try to work with her?

If she is in menopause sexual intercourse can be painful for her. A small amount of vaginal Estrogen (For example) fixes her issues with skin and lubrication. If she has lost sex drive a small amount of compounded Testosterone can spark her interest. If she is having emotional or other reservations about sex a couple of sessions with a therapy expert is well worth the time. The most important point is that fixing these issues that help your sex life together also come with elimination of wild mood swings, hot flashes, memory and other issues that she probably would love to get rid of.

I guess what I'm saying is ok if nothing else works go ahead and try depo but don't toss in the towel before you try some of the options. Or at least consider them. I think any form of castration should be done only after you try everything else. And as nice as cuddling is I mean... Sex? It can be an amazing thing.

Anyway good for you that your seeking help from a Doctor in all this. Liver problems are scary. Or should be!

consideringthecut (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 31, 2007 6:28 pm I go along with DonnieMac and Hairy. I'm never going to change my wife to my satisfaction. It's damn near hard enough changing me. I'm waiting to start DP until I can get the assistance of an MD - hopefully soon. I haven't decided whether to tell my wife. I've got an overnight trip to Las Vegas in September, so that's one reason to tell her, because I know she's pretty nervous about me being in Sin City, even for one night.

mrt (imported) wrote: Tue Jul 31, 2007 7:21 pm I'm not (honest) trying to find fault with you guys. But what have you done to try to work with her?

If she is in menopause sexual intercourse can be painful for her. A small amount of vaginal Estrogen (For example) fixes her issues with skin and lubrication. If she has lost sex drive a small amount of compounded Testosterone can spark her interest. If she is having emotional or other reservations about sex a couple of sessions with a therapy expert is well worth the time. The most important point is that fixing these issues that help your sex life together also come with elimination of wild mood swings, hot flashes, memory and other issues that she probably would love to get rid of.

I guess what I'm saying is ok if nothing else works go ahead and try depo but don't toss in the towel before you try some of the options. Or at least consider them. I think any form of castration should be done only after you try everything else. And as nice as cuddling is I mean... Sex? It can be an amazing thing.

Anyway good for you that your seeking help from a Doctor in all this. Liver problems are scary. Or should be!

Whilst my wife is well past the menopause, she has MS and takes a lot of medication to control the pain and other problems this disease causes, she has long had trouble accepting sexual activity as she had a number of terrible experiences before I met her. But I shall investigate the vaginal Estrogen and compounded testosterone suggested above, it may overcome the mental problems ,and the effects of the meds, gabapentin, levothyroxin, carbamazepine and amitriptyline (to name only a few). Sadly, it seems that many women lose interest in sex after 40, and most by the age of 50.

I would have to be very careful taking DP as I am on anti-hypertensives myself. I may ask my GP, and wife though.

HairyHarry (imported) wrote: Wed Aug 01, 2007 1:48 pm Whilst my wife is well past the menopause, she has MS and takes a lot of medication to control the pain and other problems this disease causes, she has long had trouble accepting sexual activity as she had a number of terrible experiences before I met her. But I shall investigate the vaginal Estrogen and compounded testosterone suggested above, it may overcome the mental problems ,and the effects of the meds, gabapentin, levothyroxin, carbamazepine and amitriptyline (to name only a few). Sadly, it seems that many women lose interest in sex after 40, and most by the age of 50.

I would have to be very careful taking DP as I am on anti-hypertensives myself. I may ask my GP, and wife though.

Hi Harry:

I think thats great! Do speak to your GP. I'm not trying to throw monkey wrenches into what seems to be a straightforward answer to low drive issues with women but I've been there (with low T) and I'm not at a normal level and for me this life is more enjoyable and I'm feeling more capable of doing stuff. And NOT just sex. My wife is in menopause and our kids all think she is going insane. I think anyone can get "used" to being low to no hormones but my question is why?

BTw I note several depression meds in your list. Women can have both depression and menopause but in my amateur opinion there are (some) women diagnosed with "depression" that are simply in menopause. Treating the menopause with HRT is fixing the root cause. And much better if that really is the problem.

As far as I know, none of the meds is for depression, but for pain control. Even during a heatwave she can have "freezing cold" inside her head, and she doses herself up to ease it. Not to mention the trigeminal neuralgia and optic neuritis. How she tolerates it I don't know, but I'd be taking a long walk on a short pier, if it were me

I did some R&D for you Harry:

carbamazepine nerve pain and mental health issues like Mania and Bipolar disorder.

gabapentin nerve pain meds *I tried a similar one and had serious issues thinking clearly and staying awake.

levothyroxin This is a Thyroid Hormone replacement med. *Thyroid issues can also effect Sex Drive...

Amitriptyline is a tricyclic antidepressant drug. *note some anti depression meds are used for pain. The idea (If I understand it) is that the antidepression meds make the patient not "care" about the pain so much.

Your wife may not appreciate your snooping about her meds so if you decide to talk to her please be gentle.

Good luck!

She is OK about me knowing about the meds, she asks me to google for extra info when she is prescribed a different one!

Good for her and good for you for helping her. Do talk to her about HRT. It might be a factor in her other problems. At least ask her to speak to her GP so they can discuss it.

I've been on androcur since May 1, 2007. Such is the condition and mindset of my wife, she has not noticed since we don't have sex more than 5 or so times a year anyhow. I struggle with the secret more than anything else. If I tell her, no good can come from it. However, by not telling her, I'm always aware of the fact that I'm hiding the truth from her (a truth that she is fine living without knowing). Hmmm,... this sounds like a good topic for my blog.

EDIT...

gadzoocs (imported) wrote: Fri Aug 03, 2007 7:31 pm she has not noticed since we don't have sex more than 5 or so times a year anyhow. end EDIT Hmmm,... this sounds like a good topic for my blog.

5 times a year, that often? My last time was 3rd July, 2006!

I know, I know, I'm spoiled!