yeh i dont get the hundred and two friends either! how can they all really know you? quality is always better...

jeez, I have dinner every tuesday evening with about 35-40 of my closest friends. I know everyone at the coffee shop. Friends that I walk the pride festival with every year bitch at me that I take too long, cuz I stop and talk to everyone I know.

OTOH, I can often be quite alone and lonely. Go figure. Knowing folks and being close are not the same thing. I wouldnt do without all those folks - theyre all fun and great and lots of things. But we all have to find just the one. The more I look I think the less likely to find. Someone will come up to me someday, and say lets move along right this way..... let me show you.

I wonder. Feeling 'alone', or feeling 'lonely'.

Are you not much better off than a disabled person who cannot get out of the house to make new friends ?

Go radiate your life to others who need a little brightness.

As several people has said, there's a lot of difference between being alone and feeling lonely. Being 'a loner' is an expression that, to me at least, means enjoying being alone at least most of the time. I do. But then there are times that being alone feels a bit like wasting away, when lonlieness eats at you.

What really feeds my "loner-ness" are my bouts of depression. At those times I do not want any contact with the rest of the world. I try to turn it off. If I end up alone, I will probably die of starvation one day - because I would rather just sleep then eat, and there's probably no food around the appartment anyway so eating would require at least some contact with the rest of the world...

So, there are times when I feel like the cartoon hero, sitting a top a tall building looking down on a world that doesn't get it, and feel I can do without them - and there are other times that I curl up in bed crying for someone to call me.

I had no plans to move in with someone again. I didn't really seek it, I didn't think it would happen - the kind of life that I want to live isn't exactly what anyone would like to share. But no I do. And so far it works out.

There are no guides and no norms that apply, there are no standards to meet. There just life - and as soon as you think you're getting the hang of it, it changes the rules on you again.

possible its better to be alone and nothing more than a body in the dark, than to be a whore all over the place, disgracing the world with a filthy litter of existence?

Z

huh z you speak like the riddler sometimes...

you speak like the riddler .

i say what is on my mind, and in all respects there sometimes just is not the words to describe ones feeling or emotions, let alone thoughts.

i try

z

aww z, i didnt meen any harm..

i like your use of words!

I think at times maybe friends are better than lovers?

I've had some lovely times with friends that I can cherish forever, safe in the knowledge that they won't be muddied by the emotional aspects of a close relationship such as a partner... whereas some of the really great episodes i've shared with previous partners are now a little tainted, if only by the sadness that we are no longer together...

Overall, although at times I crave the closeness of one other person and no other I don't very often let people get that close, in some ways i'm my own worst enemy - if I had to choose? I would sooner have a wide circle of friends if nothing else - especially if those friends include the ones I have made since joining the EA!

what logan means to say is that he has a crush on me

*poor baby* you always gotta fall for the weird ones huh? why do you always have to be differnt!