kristoff wrote: Thu Dec 07, 2006 5:43 pm The above is some of my recent maunderings and musings. Comments?

I'm in a slightly different circumstance. While I was voluntarily castrated - by a vet friend in an S & M scene, my main motivation was testicular pain and discomfort. It and they very much got in the way of sex. It's hard to describe how relieved I feel to be without those organs and to have nothing more than a vestige of a sac that totally disappears into the base of the cock, giving me a totally smooth crotch, when I'm hard. There's a bit of eroticism to it all. I'm a gay male. Other guys are often totally turned on by the smooth crotch. I once went into a leather bar in San Francisco and stripped and was subsequently amazed at how fast news spread that I'd been castrated and how deep the line got to feel the smooth crotch. As many know, my desire wasn't to lose sexual function, but simply to be without testicles. I've thus had no difficulty rationalizing the ingestion of testosterone and function totally as a male, but without gonads. Those that are neutral on the subject of my being ballless are almost always accepting. I've only once been rejected by a guy for being ballless, and that by a stranger that felt me up in a gay bar. He seemed attracted to me, but almost fled when he opened my fly and found I was ballless. No one else has ever rejected me for that reason. My BF almost worships my vacant crotch. He luvs fondling the 2 rings I've had put in place of the scrotal appendage. Once in a while I think of my difference, but I putthat aside by recalling the pain and discomfort. I'm definitely better off w/o balls.

I agree, I do think this should have its own thread with a sticky on it. Great job Kristoff.

I was male before and I still am today, a male eunuch.

I answered yes to the first 10 questions.

River

Afraid to add anything for fear I might get that crazy nun after me

estragen (imported) wrote: Wed Feb 28, 2007 5:34 am Afraid to add anything for fear I might get that crazy nun after me

Feel free... But then, I thought you wanted that stuff gone.

I must say that is a strange picture.

You should see (or maybe not) the pics we can't post....

Kristoff :

Thanks for this thoughtfull discussion. Also thanks to the other responders. I am not sure at what age(s) you finally took the step but feel that I am heading in the same direction gradually and surely until one day I will probably take the leap and just get on with it

From the looks of his age as reported in here he probley took the step when he was about 75

I can identify very much with the what am I feelings you have. I have lost all testosterone production because I have lost my pituatary gland to a tumor. I therefore was put on full hormone replacement but no until I had lived without testosterone for years. I came to resent those things between my legs that did'nt work and wanted them gone badly. once put on hrt I found I did not like who I was. I have since experimented with different levels of testosterone but that has not resolved the feeling that I am not male. In fact I find I don't want to be male or female. I like some off the more female traits I have such as being less aggresive, slower to get angry, more emotional and yet I do not want to become a women. I am finding that feelings about being gay or straight have changed as well. I am married and have allways considered myself as straight until I lived without T and then I found I was attracted to the same sex in the same way as the opposite sex. because of my upbringing this has caused me much mental anguish and soul searching and I have come to the conclusion that this is just who I am now. In our relationship I have become more of a bottom than a top and like it that way. I would still like to be castrated so I could be what I feel I am, neither male or female but something between the two. I continue to present as a male but would not be upset if I were completely nullified.

We are what we are,no matter what mods we might or might not have. As long as we are happy with what bits we have,or have removed as long as we are happy with how we look what has it to do with anyne.

Should it not be a case of live and let live.

That is all very true , I would have to agree with this ,I can say that with all of the modifications that I have, had I definitely identity as female in every sense of the word ,with the exception of the genetics....well maybe I can claim my breasts, the Dr's account for my very good growth on genetics.........