When I was castrated it took about a month for the resulting masses in my scrotum to be absorbed by my body. I'd say it will take you a month to month and a half.

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Fri Nov 10, 2006 9:26 pm My body doesn’t feel much different, i do feel differently about my body. im wondering how long its going to take for the lumpz in my groin to go away and reabsorb? Anyone know...? is my sack, or scrotum gana shrink any?

think about it.

The scrotem is so soft, i dont know if i will ever wanagive it up. kinda reminds me of my ole blankie!

The whole groin area is feeling heavy, and hard. i have spent about 10 hours a day sitting for the last week and i feel alot of tension coming from my lower tummey. i could really use a massage. wishful thinkin.... i have thought the last few days that it really looks like my incision has healed and is getting small, i also noticed the lumpz are hard and shrivling, the fluid in my sack is disapating. overall i feel great. i really love my body now, i cant wait to really live. i wana go jogging for the first time without underwear, lust to see what it feels like.

i wish i could show yawl what its like. maybe a photo?

sorry, i dont have time to spell check!

z

Will you post photos on BME?

i would if it is free!?! is it?

im tired. oh so tired//

Yes if you send them the photos you get a free pass

wrtie to Shannon the head of BME at glider@zentastic.com He will let you know the procedure.. I am sure you will get free credits for submitting photos of your changed body

ijust know . im unsure if i will ever feel as comfortable with anyone else as i feel with myself. i thought abit about my ex today, and it brought me to tears. i had never let him get to me before, but now seeing him being put threw what he put me through i cant but help cry a few tears.

i know this has nothing to do with me being castrated, but i thought about it today for no real reason. i guess im just really alone, and i never really thought of it that way until today. i dont want to be left to myself for life. i want love, and its not the love my friends or family can give. i once thought i didnt need anyone else to be happy and survive, but now i want someone to hold onto and someone to love me.

i haven’t felt this way in so long its hard to feel so needy. i have a void i never faced. i have tryed so long to fill this gapping hole with druggz, drinking, working, shopping , self mutilation. but now its just me, nothing else to way me down but a lack of companionship.

i shouldnt feel so alone but i do.

Z,

I understand. Since being on depo-provera I do not crave sex, but do crave closeness and friendship. Odd how one intense feeling gets replaced by an amplified need to be loved and close. Probably a more female way of looking at sex and relationships ... a very different perspective.

Don

...

homptydumpty (imported) wrote: Thu Nov 16, 2006 10:39 pm i know this has nothing to do with me being castrated, but i thought about it today for no real reason....

Not sure I agree with you. It hasn't been a long period of time since the removal of substantial amounts of testosterone from your system. However, based on my experiences (next week being six months), I suspect that you may find additional changes in store for you. For instance, being more compassionate, less confrontational, more loving/caring, relationship oriented, etc. To one way of thinking, you are in the process of shifting from a patriarchal mindset to a matriarchal mindset.

Also, I don't know how to respond to the comment about feeling so alone. Are you talking about "being alone" (a physical state or condition) or "loneliness" (a feeling or emotional condition)? To me, those are different, probably related, but still different. I believe you are saying the latter. And if that is the case, then my first paragraph seems to apply.

You can't even realize how much I understand you, your loneliness and your desire to be loved. I'll write to you about that in the next few days.

My loss of T I think is chaining me. im at a lack of words to describe. While i do still feel myself as a human. i cant comprehend being called a man. And know im not a women either. This no longer bothers me to the extent at witch it had before. I do feel that in the month sense my castration i have achieved a higher level of self-appreciation and acceptance. Im not pushing myself any longer to become something i am not, for now these feelings of being more myself than i ever was before are incredible pleasurable.

I am making decisions with a clearer idea of where they may take me, making plans, and setting goals feels simpler. I no longer have such an overwhelming sexual desire to please. Contentment with my body as it is, and loves to share it with myself, if not others.

I now understand the importance of taking time for myself, to do the simple things in life that we all should make time to enjoy.

Just a thought, or two.

Z