I think Joanna is referring to "Tool (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool_%28band%29)" (The band), and 10,000 days is a name of an album.

I don't think music tastes will change tremendously. After all, girls listen to Tool too! (My ex-girlfriend being one of them )

Heck, when I'm mad with the world even I like to put on KMFDM/Die Krupps/Rammstein really really loudly and wake up the neighbours.

But I like just about any music, anything from Mozart to Nine Inch Nails to Jean Michel Jarre to Pet Shop Boys. You name it, I like it . The only music genre I find hard to enjoy at all is RnB. Though there are some songs I like. Oh that, and country and western. With the exception of a few artists, like Jonny Cash of course Okay okay, so now I'm rambling...

Yeah, so maybe priorities will change, the value you place in certain things may change. Perhaps this will subtly affect your tastes? But I definitely wouldn't expect your Tool albums to suddenly start gethering dust. No worries about that one

Sex on the other hand ... without getting too graphic ... and being single right now ... I can't even remember the last I ... well you get the idea And I don't even worry about it.

That part will change.

thefraj (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 06, 2006 12:39 am I think Joanna is referring to "Tool (http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tool_%28band%29)" (The band), and 10,000 days is a name of an album.

Whoops, guess I slipped on that one.

Well I use to read "Chastity Stories" for quie a while. Now EA. My real purpose was I think to learn how You and everyone expresses "fantasy" and "reality" and for me to figure out the "differense" . I have learned a lot on both counts and I havn't either figured out if the Herbs I am taking will do it all to "calm my Urges" etc ...Hi. Got to go. Regards JSm N3RF

Joanna,

Get yourself to a gender therapist so you explore your feelings. Wish I had done that when my issues started interfering with the rest of my life. You feel very alone in this and need to talk face-to-face with someone who understands these things.

Speaking from my own experience: Testosterone fortifies whatever maleness remains in a blended gender identity. If you get castrated, not only will you want to be female, you will feel female, and TG desires will strengthen.

Clean? Yes, I feel clean now that the perversions are gone. Unfortunately for ones like us, TG isn't a perversion; it's identity. So castration won't remove TG feelings.

Terri

Sorry Christina :p I didn't mean to be a smart arse, just thought I'd say to help clarify is all LOL

I agree with Bryan, it probably would be good to persue this with some kind of understanding therapist. But one point I would like to stress is you are not alone. It is just a matter of searching out the right people to talk to and making the right freinds you can talk about this with.

Comming here is a good start , and gives you an immediate group of friends you can talk to there are other TG resources out there on the internet, but will not be castration-friendly unless it's part of a wider process of becoming female.

One thing I would like to stress is that gender identity - for me - wasn't as simple as being either male or female. Nor is it terribly important for me to be accepted as female (though my alter ego does come out (http://thefraj.pwp.blueyonder.co.uk/Rebecca.jpg) occasionally ) But perhaps my identity lies somewhere along a continuum which lies between the two extremes. Some poeple are more masculin, some more femanine. I'm somewhere in the middle. Perhaps ever-so-slightly more on the masculin side?

Which is why I recommend exploring these feelings with some kind of therapist. Explore the source of the desire for castration. I found - thinking back to my childhood - there were lots of strange behaviours which made me realize these traits had always been with me and was a deeper rooted identity issue, than a simple "desire to loose my balls".

I don't know I'm just thinking of what is best for you. Please find a therapist if you havn't already!

~Rog

Dear Joanna,

Welcome to EA, or as some refer to it as "the zoo". I'm one of the many TG/TS girls that are members of this community.

You'll find many people here that can answer your many questions and hopefully provide you the information you are seeking.

In response to some of your inquires, I can only offer my own experience on the following.

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sat Aug 05, 2006 11:51 pm will I still love Tool, or will I only want to listen to Lilith Faire type stuff??????????????? I'm listening now to 10,000 days, and such raw backbeat power!

My musical tastes have not changed. Still love my rock!

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sat Aug 05, 2006 10:48 pm I suppose the "chemical castration" is in order, so I'll know what it's like to be sans ..... sans ... just testicles or will I really know what it's like?

A good place to start. I was chemically castrated for a while before I made the situation permanent. I didn't really feel any difference between chemical and surgical, so it is effective.

Some of your current interests may wane, but they will be replaced by other things that will become more important to you. There's not going to a drastic change. Hormones cannot change the basic person you are. Christina is very much right on this point.

Terri also offered some very good advise in seeking out a gender consoler, but make certain they have a background in GID. The wrong person can cause more harm than good.

Hang in there with us. I think you will find that you may even make some new friends here.

Joanna,

I think you'll find that you're being flooded with good advice.

It can just take a while sometimes.

As for changes in tastes, I think you'll find that if you should TRY chemical castration, there won't be much that changes along those lines.

I still like all the things I did before - food, music, hobbies, etc.

I still drive an obnoxious gas-sucking 4wd truck and wouldn't be caught dead in a compact high-mileage car or minivan! I still listen to heavy metal from the 80's, grunge, and also opera and choral music. I'm very spread out. I can go from KISS to Pink Floyd to Vangelis or the Vienna Boys Choir all in a matter of hours.

Now there's an idea - the VBC performs "The Wall"!

(My testosterone production went to hell after some medical problems, but the effect is the same - low number, same effects, I think.)

But so far, I think you've got some sound advice. Please stay with us!

Thanks all.

I've heard a few things, some on this board, so more opinions are requested, questions that would be repeated to a medical professional one day.

Being tired. I think I read this here, where you don't have as much energy? How drastic is this?

Gaining weight. It's already hard enough keeping it off. Is it even more difficult without Testosterone.

Bones. Are they more susceptible to weakening, like osteoporosis as in women? Would calcium supplements counter it?

Calming effect. Oh if true, I'd like to not wanna feel like smashing all the other foolish commuters. It's funny, when I go out dressed, I drive much less aggressively. I wonder if that would hold on everyday commute hell though.

Less risk of Prostate cancer. I read this someplace. There's a good one.

I could probably look this up. Chemical castration inhibits testosterone production?

Joanna

Joanna,

Thanks for returning and staying with us. I added a couple of comments to your questions below. Let us know if you have other questions as I tend to believe these responses will spawn more...

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:04 am Thanks all.

I've heard a few things, some on this board, so more opinions are requested, questions that would be repeated to a medical professional one day.

Being tired. I think I read this here, where you don't have as much energy? How drastic is this?

This is true today. I suffer from little motivation and feel tired all the time. Lack of testosterone has a lot to do with the issue energy loss.

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:04 am Gaining weight. It's already hard enough keeping it off. Is it even more difficult without Testosterone.

Yes, weight gain is real for a lot of us Eunuchs. Most of us have a difficult time dropping the weight that comes on rather quickly when other transitional events in our lives come to the forefront. You will hear stories of little to no weight gain but those guys are few and far between. If you are like most of us, weight gain will be real. Exercise is a good way to ward off the gain and diet change works even better.

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:04 am Bones. Are they more susceptible to weakening, like osteoporosis as in women? Would calcium supplements counter it?

It is not a bad idea to consume additional calcium after castration. Better to be supplimented than not.

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:04 am Calming effect. Oh if true, I'd like to not wanna feel like smashing all the other foolish commuters. It's funny, when I go out dressed, I drive much less aggressively. I wonder if that would hold on everyday commute hell though.

Calm in your life after castration depends on you. Like I mentioned before, its the individual who experiences his experience. Sorry to be a bit confusing there but the saying is true, 'Castration affects individuals differently. Only you can tell us how it affected your life." For me, the calm was always there in public prior to castration but in private, the calm seems real. Real enough to know its true, you may experience the calm.

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:04 am Less risk of Prostate cancer. I read this someplace. There's a good one.

Sure, this is true. Once testosterone is removed from your body, seminal fluids produced by the Prostate glan reduce to almost nil amounts. You can say your Prostate glan benefits most by the Calm mentioned above.

Joanna (imported) wrote: Sun Aug 06, 2006 8:04 am I could probably look this up. Chemical castration inhibits testosterone production?

I have no experience on this issue but several others here will tell you something in the affirmative.

Joanna

The main thing is to ensure that what you perceive as "TG feelings" are not some other dissatisfaction expressing itself. Some people will consider TG simply because of the human tendency to think the grass is always greener on the other side; they think "since my life sucks and I'm a man, maybe life wouldn't suck as a woman". Or sometimes you may hate your male sexuality without actually wanted to be female. Perhaps there is guilt, or pain, or past abuse that makes you feel dissociated from your male sexuality.

In any case, a true TG feeling would mean that you deeply desire for the world to see you as female, and that your deepest love would be felt when you are loved as a woman.

Definitely see a gender therapist to sort all this out!