myra (imported) wrote: Fri May 05, 2006 9:03 am on AVEN an asexual is defined as a person who has no desire to have sex and who doesn't feel sexually attracted to another person. Most asexuals have a form of physical arousal, but they are not very much into it. Asexuals are most of the time physically able to have sex, but they don't long to do it. Some masturbate, some don't (I don't). Some people are hyposexual (lowered sex drive) instead of totally asexual.

This is open to other interpretations though

Interesting. I didn't know that was the definition of that. I myself may fall into that category as I have never really had any desire for intercourse, though I do have a sex drive.

Hello. I have been reading the posts / replies with interest.

I would like to say that sex and male / female estrogen testosterone is not bad That is what brings love to the world, and, beaitufull children. There is nothing more beautifull than a working marriage, that in which children have loving parents that provide not only love but happiness and security.

In my case, I am an eunuch, but, not by choice. I grew up not knowing what wass going on in me, but I knew something was really wrong. I could not understand why the rest of the kids where so obsesed with sex, teasing ea other, talking about girls, and harrassing any kid that looked soft or too nice. I was that kid, and it was a nightmare, to have to endure harrassment, name calling, they called me all the girl names you can imagine, and teased me as gay. I was not, I am not, and I will never be one, but that scared my mind for ever. I think my eunochoid problem was something like a curse, because, I do not think a God would want to give normal sexual development to all kids but one, and have that one be mercilessly teased to the point of mental trauma. It would be evil of me to castrate a male dog, cat, chicken, and put him in a cage with male intact animals.

As years went by, I was so embarrassed about the shape of my body, w round hips, small penis and miniature balls, wimpy muscle tone,saddle like fat deposits on the side of my laegs and a but that looks kind of female. I never had any gay inclination whatsoever, and this body issues were very disturbing. I got to question myself, thinking, if everyone thinks I am gay, and I look weird,,,,what is this ???? is it that God wants to twist me into being one?????

Years later I found out, well in my 20's, that I had eunuchoidism due to thyroid gland failure. If you have no thyroid hormones, the effect is the same as in eunuchoidism, because w/o thyroid hormones, your whole body can not function properly, thyroid H being the building blocks for everything in our bodies. Needless to say, it was way too late. The only hope of being a normal person would had been if I were to receive thyroid and testosterone treatment before the age of 17, when the body growing channels close for good.

I have the midset of a normal male, I love women, but I see that I have been cursed, and I live inside a body that will never allow me to be myself.

If I did not committ suicide, is , I think, because I have no testosterone, no balls.....there is no day I stop thinking about this. Why other men, even criminals and the worst scum of the earth have what everyone has, and I had to be cursed.

Never, never say that it is better to be asexual. What happens is that we, human beings, we have to accept and master the art of being adults. Procaliming the being asexual is better.... is just to put our heads in a hole like an Ostrich.

I may be the only one thinking like this in here, but, I am not happy, and, I feel cheated by life, by God, and, humilliated beyond believe.

Thank you for reading.

...

pinquita (imported) wrote: Fri May 05, 2006 6:21 pm There is nothing more beautifull than a working marriage, that in which children have loving parents that provide not only love but happiness and security....

I truly do NOT mean this reply to be confrontational, but I simply do not nor cannot agree with this statement.

There are many things in life -- for me -- that are as beautiful, and in many cases even more beautiful. For instance, to see a well honed human body in its natural state is wonderful beyond words. And then there are some scenes, views or vistas of mother nature at work (e.g., some sunsets/sunrises in the area of the Philippine Islands, colorful fall folage in eastern Canada, a vista of the valley/volcano/Pacific ocean from my living room [sala], etc.) that can only convince one that there must be a higher power at work in our universe, or even the smile of an innocent, newborn baby, a genuine hug from a close friend, some selected musical interludes (consider Bach, Beethoven or Tchaikovsky), etc., etc.

I find beauty in a lot of things and places and feelings, not just one. But then, maybe you were just trying to emphasize a point. Again, please do not be offended by my response; you just hit a hot button with me.

Beauty exists in the mind of the observer.

At least primarily, if not exclusively.

.

pinquita, I don't say sex is a bad thing, or people who are having sex are bad.

I just said that I personally don't enjoy sex. I don't mind if other people enjoy it, and won't critize that. I was just expressing my personal feeling about it.

I don't agree with the statement that hormones provide love. Love is possible without sexual attraction. You don't need your testosterone level to really love someone. There's also something like emotional closeness.

I can understand you are going through hard times, since you consider sex as being important for love, but that's somewhat different for asexuals. Someone who is asexual doesn't care about sex, so they don't feel they miss anything. Being without sex may be a nightmare to you, but to an asexual it's the normal way of living. Living with sex is the thing that is hard for us, having sex doesn't feel 'natural' , we are happier without it.

Myra. How did you become asexual??

I need to know your answer, so I can exchange points of view w you. I understand your position, but I need to find out the origins of it . Where you affected by eunuchoidism as a result of hypogonadism ?? hypothyroidism?? Klinelfelters syndrome?? or any other phisicall situation?? or are you asexual by choice???

Thanks.

PD: Yes, I am having a hard time dealing w this. When you are given

no choice on a material issue, it can be difficult.

Reading your post over makes me think repeatedly that you need to see a counselor to talk about these things. Obviously, you are not likely to be able to change much of your current physical situation (there ARE some things the Doctors can do to help, but it is a bit limited); but, there IS MUCH that you can do to change and help to start healing what is in your heart, mind, and soul. You obviously carry much pain; such burdens are always lessened by sharing them, hopefully with someone who can help you to find a way to live with yourself with greater ease and comfort and acceptance. I wish you well,

Krister

Thanks Krister. Unfortunately, what you say is true,there is no hope, and that really hurts. every person I see on the streets, every woman I see , every happy couple, everything, even animals, remind me that I am not normal. It is very difficult to deal w this. It is worse that the worse punishment anybody could get, because the punishment is within me.

Thanks for your words.

BudleyBare (imported) wrote: Fri May 05, 2006 10:23 pm I truly do NOT mean this reply to be confrontational, but I simply do not nor cannot agree with this statement.

There are many things in life -- for me -- that are as beautiful, and in many cases even more beautiful. For instance, to see a well honed human body in its natural state is wonderful beyond words. And then there are some scenes, views or vistas of mother nature at work (e.g., some sunsets/sunrises in the area of the Philippine Islands, colorful fall folage in eastern Canada, a vista of the valley/volcano/Pacific ocean from my living room [sala], etc.) that can only convince one that there must be a higher power at work in our universe, or even the smile of an innocent, newborn baby, a genuine hug from a close friend, some selected musical interludes (consider Bach, Beethoven or Tchaikovsky), etc., etc.

I find beauty in a lot of things and places and feelings, not just one. But then, maybe you were just trying to emphasize a point. Again, please do not be offended by my response; you just hit a hot button with me.

Budleybear. I understand what you say. Are you an eunuch by choice?? or are you a eunuch by reasons of physicall condition?

If a person decides to be asexual by choice, that is perfectly ok. But is has to be achieved by mastering your body, and controlling yourself.

There is no need to castrate and or mutilate your body to achieve that goal. To do that would be the equivalent of saying, I am a good person, because I have a 24 / 7 body guard that keeps me out of trouble. By castrating yourself you take away choice, and you have that " body guard " in place 24 / 7 .

In my case, It hurts to know, beautifull women that I could meet, the woman that could be my companion for life, that posibility is been taken away from me. Choice is choice. Corraled or forced to a line of thought is not a choice.

pinquita (imported) wrote: Tue May 09, 2006 11:08 am Myra. How did you become asexual??

I need to know your answer, so I can exchange points of view w you. I understand your position, but I need to find out the origins of it . Where you affected by eunuchoidism as a result of hypogonadism ?? hypothyroidism?? Klinelfelters syndrome?? or any other phisicall situation?? or are you asexual by choice???

Thanks.

PD: Yes, I am having a hard time dealing w this. When you are given

no choice on a material issue, it can be difficult.

First of all I'm a woman (sorry if that wasn't clear, I thought it was, myra is a female name and it's in my profile) so I 'm not an eunuch of course. I don't have a medical condition which can explain my asexuality. I'm a woman with an ordinary female body who has no interest in having sex, nor with a man, nor with a woman. I never felt sexual attraction, not in my teens, not in my twenties. I don't know why that is. If I love someone, it's because of his/her personality. I simply don't feel attracted to bodies. I don't exactly know WHY not.

I do sympathise with your condition. I can understand it must be hard for you.

wishing you the best!

Everyone is unique, and I'm sorry to hear you have such pain about this, Pinquita. Firstly, you are not alone with the condition -

www.endocrineweb.com (http://www.endocrineweb.com/hypo1.html)

"over five million Americans have this common medical condition. In fact, as many as ten percent of women may have some degree of thyroid hormone deficiency" And most of all, you are normal. Different I suppose - but then everyone is different on some level, in one way or another.

I'm not sure anyone chooses to be asexual, as nobody chooses to be gay. I was never comfortable with the strong sexual urges - it just wasn't me (just as being very male wasn't me!). And now I'm happy with who I am, and would call myself asexual only in the sense that sex is not something I actively look for or think about. Of course, with the right person maybe things could be different. But it will depend on the relationship and will not be essential to the relationship.

Hope you can come to terms with your condition, Pinquita! I think Krister maybe right - it may help for you to talk to someone. And, even though most people are here by choice, it is still a very caring community for you to discuss things like this!