Master Waddie (imported) wrote: Thu Dec 20, 2001 6:44 pm And to this day, they are remembered as, The Weed Free Kings of Orey and Tar.

Yes, and did you hear that next year they are going to make a k

Master Waddie (imported) wrote: Tue Dec 25, 2001 1:15 am ids movie out of this story starring...

CHEECH AND CHONG!???

Dale took one look and asked, "Pardon me Roy, is that the cat that che

wed your new shoes?" (To the tune of Chattanooga Choo-Choo!)

...after which Roy turned to the Sons of the Pioneers and said, "...the dumb wife, ain't no good wife, but she's my wife." (To the tune of The Night Life Ain't No Good Life, But It's My Life!)

MERRY CHRISTMAS to you all!

I can only stay until Vi gets my Presents wrapped. (Psst!...I think one of them might be her, I hope!)

A-1

A-1~

Woooolf!!

(TOLD 'em it was a dog!)

Merry Christmas Old Friend,

Master Waddie

Andrew,

Since you seem to be masochistically inclined, I could not refrain from inflicting this on you!

THE BALLAD OF FREDERICK CRINGE

Frederick Cringe was a gardening man, he loved all things green and growing.

His beds were neat, his lawns a treat - they seldom needed mowing.

He tended every leaf and twig in strict efficient fashion.

But, out of all his verdant stock, the MARROW was his passion.

He had no time for spuds or peas and other stupid follies,

He might enjoy the odd Savoy, but drew the line at Caulies!

His marrows took up all his time, like cuckoos in the nest.

His children never crossed his mind and his wife came second best.

His one desire, his burning goal, to win St. Cuthbert's Plate,

The premier prize for marrow size, at the Vicarage Garden Fete.

He used up every trick he knwo to make the marrow thicker,

He swelled the throng at Evensong to influence the Vicar!

He spread around them costly feed and hoed it in so lightly,

He lavished on the liquid lures, and prayed to God Almighty.

And, on the eve before the show, in be he turned and tossed,

When suddenly he woke - and saw the window white with frost.

He fled into the garden cold, forsaking warmth and wife!

He threw himself on the giant - to save the marrow's life.

And, in the morning, Mrs. Cringe searched pathways wide and narrow,

And there found Fred, alas, Quite DEAD. FROZEN TO THE MARROW!

Dear C. C. Rider~

What's Marrow? (I know bone marrow but don't think

us Yanks grow 'marrow' ? Lovely poem, though. )

Master Waddie

Master Waddie,

Marrow: Long cylindrical thing, 3ft long by about 12 inches in diameter. Cream with green stripes. The ultimate dildo. Utterly tasteless - bit like pumpkin to which it is related.

I assume that you are familiar with courgette, these are just a small variety of marrow.

The trick in growing large ones is to pierce the stalk and thread a length of wool thread through it. The ends of the wool are put into a jar of sugar/water mixture. The only problem, is that if you overdo the amount of sugar and the weather turns hot it starts to ferment and the damn thing can explode - not a pretty sight, I can assure you.

LOL

Colin

Dear C. C.~

What? Ultimate Dildo? 3ft X 12 inches. Send me seed immediately!

Will grow a couple then send you plane fare across pond to come for a 'grand opening'. Would love to see your little beauty dialate to 12 in in diameter.

Will erect bleacher....sell tickets.....invite everyone on the EA board and do the honors meself with two of the prized ones.

Then when finished you may jump down, spin around and launch into a grand chorus of, "Two Marrows, Two Marrows, I love ya' two Marrows, you're only a gay segway.........

Master Waddie

And the audience collectively holds its noses and flees into the night.

IEunuch.

(Not sure whether to groan, or check the bottom of my shoe to see if I've stepped in something)