Chris,

Maybe what I said wasn't enough, so let me add this. Since I was a little kid I've dreamed about being into someone so much that I gave my genitals to them, literally, like mine belong to you, they're ours now. I've never felt like I could do that wholely if the other guy has his own or wants them anyway. Like they'd be a barrier between us. We could never be as physically and emotionally intimate.

I've wanted to please him, too. To take care of him. To take responsibility for his health and happiness. In fact to feel obligated to do it in exchange for what he gave up. I guess though I couldn't have known it as a little boy to be the best, most loving, adoring, and attentive top in the world for the ultimate bottom.

Does that make sense?

Drew

I was around 5 or so when i figured i had something other girls didn't (being a TS you see ::smokes ) but when i knew there was a procedure to fix that i was about 16, and at 18 i realized after the gender clinic here shut down it's eligibility for free gender reassignment surgery, and i saw the costs involved, i then started thinking about castration.

It means a lot to me to learn that for so many of us our instincts began so early. All those years of dreaming about a ballless lover, there were other guys dreaming about losing theirs and wondering if anyone would want them. Plus all the other reasons for cutting them off.

I'm just awed.

ahh, Light bulb I understand what you are suying drew and respect what you said, and am in fact kinda jelious of your bottom lol.hehe ok its late bed time night

chris

Thanks for understanding. I think I understand you, too.

You're on my mind as the big day approaches. I wish you all the joy in the world.

Just a quickie to say I'm still thinking about you coming up on the big day. I bet you/re pretty excited.

Hey, Beautiful.

Write when you're up to it.

Drew

its done

chris

hehehehe YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

Well, I know where and when I started desiring castration. I was 15 when I realized that I am homosexual (The term "gay" wasn't in use then.) The attitudes in my family and my community caused me an intolerable burden of guilt and led me to desire to be castrated to ride myself of my "unnatural" desires. I never did achieve that, but time, with the assistance of the medications which I take for heart disease and hypertension, has accomplished what years of self-inflicted CBT did not.

lossemylitguys (imported) wrote: Wed Apr 20, 2005 7:43 pm its done

chris

hehehehe YAYYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAYAY

:balsmilie Congratulations on getting the job done. :balsmilie

...........How did it go and how are you doing?

Hope all is well. Write back soon. Your experiences are welcome for those looking forward to the final cut.