Wizard by Slammr

[kb57z (imported)]

I suspect that the current near-absence of comments on stories is related to the recent upgrade to the board. Ever since then the index pages have been excuriatingly slow, which is an extreme disincentive to visiting the pages in the first place.

On top of this, stories (including 'Wizard') are tending to appear in Courier, and (for me, at least) in slghtly too large a size for comfortable reading.

Both of these issues will tend to people from reading the stories, let alone commenting on them.

Looking at 'Wizard' specifically, as an Ellis Peters fan who hales from the Principality, I found the choice of some of the names a little off-putting. Beaumaris, for instance, is very much part of the Norman-French invasion and is really the name of one of Edward I's castles. (It would have looked better in the Welsh rendering 'Biwmares'.)

Llangefni, too, gives me pause for thought in a story about magic because I know that the word 'Llan', while undoubtedly Welsh, is almost invariably followed by a saint's name, because it specifically means 'Church' or 'Parish'. (The references to Christmas and Easter in the Harry Potter books feel equally dubious.)

The choice of the name 'Cadfael' also might be a little unfortunate. It is a most uncommon name - Ellis Peters said that she chose it for her monk-detective precisely because she knew of only one previous owner - who was always known by a nickname. The use of such a 'high-profile' name in 'Wizard' tends to evoke memories of some of the dodgier stories that can be found on the net, where the author has lifted names and situations from more-or-less well-known works (usually for 'near-porn' purposes) rather than creating his own scenario from the ground up. (I hasten to add that I'm not in any way intending to cast aspersions - I just want to note that it is why the use of the name makes me uncomfortable while reading the story.)

I hope I'm not sounding too negative - I'm not intending to be. Rather I hope I'm drawing attention to a few unsuspected infelicities that can be taken into account, and easily avoided in future stories.

[Slammr (imported)]

I suspect that the current near-absence of comments on stories is related to the recent upgrade to the board. Ever since then the index pages have been excuriatingly slow, which is an extreme disincentive to visiting the pages in the first place.

On top of this, stories (including 'Wizard') are tending to appear in Courier, and (for me, at least) in slghtly too large a size for comfortable reading.

Both of these issues will tend to people from reading the stories, let alone commenting on them.

Looking at 'Wizard' specifically, as an Ellis Peters fan who hales from the Principality, I found the choice of some of the names a little off-putting. Beaumaris, for instance, is very much part of the Norman-French invasion and is really the name of one of Edward I's castles. (It would have looked better in the Welsh rendering 'Biwmares'.)

Llangefni, too, gives me pause for thought in a story about magic because I know that the word 'Llan', while undoubtedly Welsh, is almost invariably followed by a saint's name, because it specifically means 'Church' or 'Parish'. (The references to Christmas and Easter in the Harry Potter books feel equally dubious.)

The choice of the name 'Cadfael' also might be a little unfortunate. It is a most uncommon name - Ellis Peters said that she chose it for her monk-detective precisely because she knew of only one previous owner - who was always known by a nickname. The use of such a 'high-profile' name in 'Wizard' tends to evoke memories of some of the dodgier stories that can be found on the net, where the author has lifted names and situations from more-or-less well-known works (usually for 'near-porn' purposes) rather than creating his own scenario from the ground up. (I hasten to add that I'm not in any way intending to cast aspersions - I just want to note that it is why the use of the name makes me uncomfortable while reading the story.)

I hope I'm not sounding too negative - I'm not intending to be. Rather I hope I'm drawing attention to a few unsuspected infelicities that can be taken into account, and easily avoided in future stories.

Although I have Welsh ancestors-of which I am proud-I have never been there. I knew that many of the names I used were those of Edward's castles-and put in a disclaimer to the effect that the Wales of the story perhaps occurred in an alternate universe, where the timeline was different. If I caused you any discomfort with the use of some of the names, I apologize. Ignorant of any historical significance of the names, I used them because I liked the sound of them-or because I liked the definition given for them. Nor did I intend to defame any of the historical characters to whom I referred in the story. Some of those mentioned are among my ancestors.

[kb57z (imported)]

Although I have Welsh ancestors-of which I am proud-I have never been there. I knew that many of the names I used were those of Edward's castles-and put in a disclaimer to the effect that the Wales of the story perhaps occurred in an alternate universe, where the timeline was different. If I caused you any discomfort with the use of some of the names, I apologize. Ignorant of any historical significance of the names, I used them because I liked the sound of them-or because I liked the definition given for them. Nor did I intend to defame any of the historical characters to whom I referred in the story. Some of those mentioned are among my ancestors.

There's no need to be apologising. It's just that for me some of the names 'feel' wrong, which rather gets in the way of the story.

Welsh place names (English ones, too, if it comes to that) tend to have meaning. Names with 'Llan' are tied up with the Christian church, and so don't fit with your timeline. There's also a sense of 'rural' in the naming. 'Caer' on the other hand means 'fortified'; more than that, 'Caer' translates the English 'Chester' - most 'Caer's were fortified by the Romans.

My objection to 'Cadfael' is of the same general level of 'niggle' - it leaves the impression of being chosen because the author wanted a Welsh name and wasn't trying very hard to find a suitable one.

[colin (imported)]

Kb57z,

I too noted the use of the names, but realised that to a large number of people (probably the majority of EA readers) who neither know Wales nor read Ellis Peters they would sound guite exotic. As such they would give the story an 'alien' feel which is quite in keeping with the world which Slammr was trying to create.

Inventing names is quite an art and not a few authors use names which are either real or are taken from other works. Have you ever read the Mabinogyan (no I haven't checked the spelling) - or at least a translation? If you do, I think that you might well recognise bits of it - especially if you are acquainted with J.R.R. Tolkiens works. He almost certainly had read the work and probably in its 'middle english' (middle earth?) form, so I think that it is a little un-fair to criticise Slammr.

How's that coming from someone who wrote the poor review which started this thread.

I still think that Slammr is a good writer.

LOL

[Slammr (imported)]

There's no need to be apologising. It's just that for me some of the names 'feel' wrong, which rather gets in the way of the story.

Welsh place names (English ones, too, if it comes to that) tend to have meaning. Names with 'Llan' are tied up with the Christian church, and so don't fit with your timeline. There's also a sense of 'rural' in the naming. 'Caer' on the other hand means 'fortified'; more than that, 'Caer' translates the English 'Chester' - most 'Caer's were fortified by the Romans.

My objection to 'Cadfael' is of the same general level of 'niggle' - it leaves the impression of being chosen because the author wanted a Welsh name and wasn't trying very hard to find a suitable one.

I wasn't familiar with Ellis Peters, so wasn't taking the name, Cadfael, from any story I read. I chose Cadfael for the main character because the definition I found for it was "battle prince." I thought it best suited him because he was a prince-and I liked the name. As I said, before one of the chapters, I chose Wales because it sounds like a magical place-and, from what you just said, I think that LLangefni was a more appropriate name for city of "the God" than I had thought. In this alternate time line, the God substitutes for the Christian God or "good."

At first, I wasn't even going to explain that I was talking about Wales, certain that most of the readers would just think that the names were exotic-or fitting with the world I was creating. As Colin said, it's difficult to invent a whole world, coming up with names for both the people and cities. The Welsh names were exactly what I wanted for the story. I also prefaced one chapter, saying that I realized that Edward's castles didn't exist during the time frame of the story in actuality-but that the time line in this alternative universe happened differently. In this story, the English have been defeated and chased back to England, leaving their castles to the Welsh. If I had been able to learn more about Wales before writing this story, I wouldn't have resorted to such subterfuge, but my research was limited to what I could find on the Internet.

[colin (imported)]

Slammr,

In case you have not found out since, Ellis Peters (aka Edith Pargeter) wrote a series of 20 murder mystery stories. These are all set in the early 12th Century when England was in the throes of a civil war between King Stephen (Stephen of Blois) and his cousin Maud (erstwhile Empress of Germany, but at that time Countess of Anjou).

The 'hero' is a welsh monk of the Abbey of St. Peter in Shrewsbury called Cadfael. (Shrewsbury is a town in England very close to the border with Wales.)

They can be a little formulaic, in that there is almost always a young man who is in danger of his life or accused of the murder; a young woman often not previously acquainted with the young man who may also be in danger; and, of course, they fall in love aided and abetted by aforesaid monk.

If you wish to try one, I would suggest 'The virgin in the ice' which in my opinion is probably the best adventure. The distinguishing feature of these stories is the way in which she sets a fictional tale into a very real historical and geographical context.

Regards,

[Paolo]

The only time I ever heard the name 'Cadfael' was on a PBS series I can't recall now...

[curious_guy (imported)]

The only time I ever heard the name 'Cadfael' was on a PBS series I can't recall now...

It was "Cadfael" (1994) [TV-Series 1994-1996] . I remembered that it starred the guy from "I Claudius" so I looked that up on IMdB and followed the links from there.

http://us.imdb.com/title/tt0108717/

[colin (imported)]

The television series starring Derek Jacobi was not, in my opinion, a good introduction to the Cadfael stories. Jacobi is ok, but ...

Presumably in order to shorten each story to get it to fit into a single episode they cut out a lot of the smaller characters and much detail. To try and compensate they made some of the events much more sensational.

For example: in 'St. Peter's Fair' (which means a very special market rather than one with rides, etc.), there is a Welsh trader who apparently speaks no english. Cadfael is assigned to interpret for him and finds that he seems to know an awful lot about certain other traders who were attending the fair that year. In the tv series, this information is missing. In the original, because Cadfael has this knowledge he is able to link the apparent drowning of a man possibly associated with one faction and the later stabbing of a man from a different one. The tv series makes both murders much more sensational. One, who in the book is simply stabbed has his eyes cut out on tv (but you don't see it). There is no explanation why the murderer should do this and it is only to give Cadfael a chance to link two otherwise un-linked events.

Stick to the book - the pictures are a lot better.

LOL

[kb57z (imported)]

The television series starring Derek Jacobi was not, in my opinion, a good introduction to the Cadfael stories. Jacobi is ok, but ...

Presumably in order to shorten each story to get it to fit into a single episode they cut out a lot of the smaller characters and much detail. To try and compensate they made some of the events much more sensational.

It is of the nature of the medium. Whereas the books can express Prior Robert Pennant's self-righteous narrow-mindedness simply in terms of his facial expressions, the TV version has him quarrelling in public with the deputy sherriff of the county.

I'm not sure that they made a TV version of 'An Excellent Mystery' - it would be interesting to see whether they could have handled the basic underlying plot element from the book, which concerned a former crusader who had sustained a injury that was definitely on topic here.