Hi, there.

Uhm. Im going to a psicotherapist and she prescribed some pills to me to decrease the general distress i have felt in my whole life. You see, i don't really know who i am (i see myself in the mirror and i cant belive i'm even a life form, i cant recognise myself).

In one hand i have always liked "girly" things since i can remember. I have gone further down the road to discard the tought that it is a simple fetishistic compulsion. But, in the other hand, i don't want to force myself to be "as femenine as possible" simply because the soceity spects that from you if you want to be accepted (as a TG they spect you to be a TG stereotipe). I like airplanes, sports, beer and non-lidylike things ¿why do i have to give them up? ¿why?

I don't like lying to the therapist (and myself) and i don't recomend it even if it cost you not to have your SRS approved (in Argentina it is forbbiden, anyway, so...).

Uhm. After reading some articles abaut the castration complex written by Freud i think now that this whole mess may be because i can't deal with my mother loss of penis. Uhm. whatever. I feel realy sad and is very difficult to keep moving on. 24 yrs of existence in this planet feels like a triumph.

In 2001 i told my parents, friends and other people abaut my condition (21 yrs old at that time). First it was hell on earth, then things started to move along. I felt a little bit less paranoid abaut this TG thing but i still cannot overcome my disgust to be "intimate" with others.Thats the worst part. I have been with women and guys and, you know?, i cant feel a thing. Mmm. Thats why i'm somewhat "in love" with myself, i suppose, (ie: masturbating to no end) and deeply excited by the posibility of getting rid of my genitals (i don't want to have a vagina). Becoming a nullo, thats it.

Hehe, I like to daydream in this "nullo stuff scenario" even if my salary (U$100 x month) whispers to my ear that it is impossible. Well, maybe not. Who knows?, maybe god exists after all

Florencia

Sorry abaut my incoherent english. I didn't want to upset anyone.

Orchard (imported) wrote: Wed Dec 31, 2003 1:44 pm I should also have said that people here and in other sites gave me the strenght to go on. Knowing you're not alone is help beyond measure.

Thanks to you all. I wish you all the best.

Hello, dear. I am glad to know that you have found that you are not alone. We are many! And I am glad that you opened up. Transitioning rom male to female can be exceedingly daunting, but as you see, there are a good number of TS women here.

Feel free to stay open with us. We wish you the best and offer lots of support.

I, too, suffered from Gender Dysphoria all of my life. It has been a difficult transition at times, but I finally had my surgery in 2001 and life is a lot better now. Very much so. So it is possible to overcome quite a lot and get where you need to be.

I look forward to reading about your progress in the future.

With the warmest of hugs,

Kelly