bbtop1978 (imported) wrote: Mon Mar 27, 2023 1:38 am
The problem about all this, is that there is a people asking for their services. People wanting to be castrated and/or penectomized in a ritual way, not under full body anaesthetics. For me, those videos was the start of my fantasy, then real strong desire. The problem there is that if the start of the procedure and the ritual is very hot, there is no plan if something goes wrong. They don't have any skilled professional to finish the job. They just cross their fingers wishing everything goes well. In an ideal world, those guys should be allowed to do their business, but without drugs and with professionals ready to finish the job after the ritual. I would be their first customer. But it must be safe.
I had a bit of a rant about this on Twitter. ... There is this uncomfortable reality that castration rituals feed into our need for non-standard bodies we inhabit/are going to inhabit/wish to inhabit to be validated by others. And because of majority prejudice, the question 'am I valued?' requires a huge amount of weight of evidence to conjure the feel good factor. Someone else choosing one's body, or forcing the inevitable on one for their reasons rather than yours puts huge weight behind the idea that the whole thing is not going to be some huge exile from affection and value.
My balls are the source of massive pain, to the extent I've lost my job from mandated sick leave stretching too long. My hair has gone white from the stress of it, and my dentist worries about the wear on my otherwise perfect teeth from grinding them. I am desperately fighting to get treatment (I can't even access cord blocks, even though that wouldn't have an effect on the inflammation making my Crohn's impossible to get into remission despite £100k per year drugs). I also respect how for others, living in a body that does not correspond to their 'wiring' can be a torment; and also how profound loss of agency affects well-being for people for whom this is simply preference.
Sexually I find fantasies that involve others imposing treatment on me make me feel good inside because they signal and end to worry and an end to fighting that I can actually believe in. Indeed, I don't interact sexually with anybody who would not want me castrated if I did not have the issues I do. In plain English: I only feel sexually fulfilled with people whose psychology others might call predatory. Why? Because I am sick of fighting, and people's pity or mere tolerance is corrosive to my positive face needs. I want to be desired. I don't want to be defined for others as a reduced version of what they want.
Naming the traumas and needs underlying fetishes is dangerous, as it can lessen the ability of fantasies and rituals to perform the mental health effects we experience as pleasure, grounding, reduction in anxiety and so on. I was in a mixed mind about writing this.
But it is important to say in the context of the trial ongoing, that people will not be satisfied till they have wrung all the details and private inner lives out of people. Ordinary people are only likely to understand this sexual behaviour if it is really spelled out to them why they would do the same if it were they who had a deep need for this taboo change in their bodies.
The example I used before was how no-one would question a therapist watching the Paralympics with a leg amputation patient, and possibly talking about how good the prosthetics are during an awake/epidural surgery. Genitalia is sex-related, and sex (the having of it, the wanting of it, the not having of it, the not wanting of it) is taboo to the extent there are no socially sanctioned answers to any sexual question anyway.
All these things are incredibly vulnerable, and I don't feel a courtroom is a good place for it to be explored.
I hope that one day we have clinics that are run by our community's qualified doctors, where our distrust of professionals vibing with out deeper needs is no longer a problem. This does not necessarily have to involve doctors doing sex work for it to meet our needs! I see a lot of the sex ritual aspect as a reaction against the abuse and upsetting level of negative judgement we get from fertility-focused andrologists.
I have some experience of what 'good' looks like in this area. A number of years ago I got a circumcision privately. It was borderline sub clinical, but the operation has increased my quality of life and the sex I enjoy. This was in a private hospital, and the surgeon and I had a man-to-man about it, he was understanding, and we had a good rapport. I felt no need to conjure huge great affirmation rituals around it, because the experience did not erode my sense of agency, dignity or privacy in the first place.
So none of this is strange, but, God help us, it will look strange to people who have never considered these things.
tomorrow and make SOC 8 the law of the land w/ plenty of low cost, accessible clinics to do safe procedures under typical medical operating room methods, I could imagine some that would still want the sorts of services offered by the nameless site because they would meet the needs for the kinky aspect....
