just a note... thanks for your answers. they're helping in an unstable time. can anyone tell... im lately overcome with unexpected emotion like fearing the worst or being sad or not knowing which way to turn... and having to cry

dee2essohkay (imported) wrote: Tue Jun 21, 2022 12:46 am just a note... thanks for your answers. they're helping in an unstable time. can anyone tell... im lately overcome with unexpected emotion like fearing the worst or being sad or not knowing which way to turn... and having to cry

See your doctor - a psychiatrist who can prescribe. What you describe are classic signs of severe depression.

This is in part a Question/Request for Information as well as an Update on my upcoming surgery (as they both apply to the original intent of this thread and my intended surgery.

I entered this becoming a eunuch stuff in a way that circumvented the WPATH SOC. I was just desperate for an orchiectomy so that i would finally stop attacking my body and endangering my life. I have to emphasize that I do believe the orchiectomy saved my life. I do believe I would have done the surgery myself and not been able to stop myself had it not been approved by a real doctor. He saved my life.

Interests in becoming a woman and or a eunuch were moot points. The important thing was to remove the glands and save my life. Since at the time, i was not looking to become a woman, it seemed wrong for me to be on estrogen for a year first. It did not matter that I suspected that in time, and after surgery, I would want to be on estrogen. And it would have been a very dangerous year for me. It is ok to call me xxxxxxx for going about it in this crazy way but that way is what seemed most right for me and still does.

I finally had a meeting with the surgeon who will do the vaginoplasty and who to me seems very eager to do trans surgery. Maybe even a bit creepy but he’s a nice guy and knows what he’s doing too. And I even think having his eager attitude is good for this kind of work.

But he also does seem to be very focused on performing vaginoplasty and knowing that I don’t want to be functional, he believes i should do a shallow depth vaginoplasty. That to me at the time seemed ok, but i’ve been thinking a lot since the other day when I saw him and I think I’d be most happy with a female appearance but nothing below the surface.

Does this make sense to anyone? Perhaps instead of nullo, you could call this feminine nullo or female veneer. This would make the most sense for me but I don’t know if the doctors consider that as a possibility. Maybe it is not in their fee structure and maybe with WPATH 7 or 8, there will be no accommodations anyway.

I’ve tried to ask professionals I’ve encountered about SOC 8 (like my endocrinologist mentioned above) but they act like it doesn’t exist. I want to request my own version of remodeling my sex. Not what WPATH or what the Hospital’s Transgender Dept expects me to have done. I wonder if anyone knows if WPATH SOC 8 will be helpful to me or am I just screwing myself by trying to get what I believe is the best solution.

I don’t know if estrogen plays into this or not. I don’t know if timing plays in. A trans friend says I won’t get anywhere if is say anything other than I want to be a woman and will be totally compliant with the WPATH SOC regardless of whether it is in accord with my own needs and then when I’ve complied and it comes time for surgery then request what I really believe I need.

Professionals seem so ready to make this decision for me as if what I believe I need is simply not possible. Does anyone have any thoughts on this? I really hope someone does. I could really start getting very lost if I just have to do what they say and be who they want me to be. I can’t help it if my needs differ from others.

Thanks.

S

It sounds to me like the shallow vaginoplasty is what you are looking for from your describing a desire for 'female veneer'... The question to me is what sort of hoops he wants you to jump through in order to get him to grab his jackknife...

Remember that while SOC 8 is important, it is mostly there to define the hoops, and sets a baseline of what MAY be required, but nothing requires a doc to demand everything in it, so if he is willing to require less then you are ahead of the game....

Since SOC 8 has not been 'officially' released yet, it doesn't really count, and won't until it is released. When it is, the hoped for result is that you will get a lot more freedom to design your own path, or at least that is how I understand it... Basically the only really 'hard stop' issue is if what you want is medically dangerous, otherwise it is more just convincing the docs that it is REALLY what you want, and that you understand all about what it means...

WheelyCurious